IELTS: you work at home and have a problem with the equipment that use for job, write letter to supp

complaint letter - faulty hard drive

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is June who bought a portable hard disk from your company six months ago and the model is HD131. This hard disk is used for saving my company database since I am working at home. The hard disk is very reliable and speedy until this morning, I can't open the database and I tried all the possible ways to open the files such as re-starting the computer, trying on the other computer but still can't access to the files.

The problem is I need those data from the hard disk urgently since I have to send the information to my client before tomorrow's meeting. If I can't get it done by today, I will lose a contract which cost $100,000.

Your company has very good reputation and I heard your customer supporting service is very efficiency. I sincerely seek for your help to recover the data that saved in my hard disk. I will send the back up file that stored in the hard disk and grateful if you can solve the problem or provide any possible solution for me on or before 12:00pm.

Please feel free to contact me via this email or 04123456.

Your help is much appreciated.

best regards,

June

You should edit into: "until this morning as I can't .."; "that is saved/saved(without that); which is stored/stored(without that) (grammatical error). And congratutions!! Your letter is pretty good so keep moving on. Good luck to you.

I agree your letter is pretty good.

I noticed a few grammatical errors

Your company has a very good reputation

supporting service is very efficient

I sincerely seek your help

data that is saved in my hard disk.

I will send the back up file that is stored in the hard disk and I will be grateful if you

June, I would have appreciated it if you had given the instructions for writing this letter along with your post. I need to know if you properly referenced the requirements of the instructions or if you have some errors in the presentation. I feel that there is an error in the dating of this letter because you require all of the work to be done on the same day of the submission of the letter, before 12 noon. That is impossible because the work that has to be done on the hard drive will take at least 2 weeks to accomplish. That is why I think that you have not properly written the letter. The most important aspect of this letter is a reference to having called the help center in order to have assistance in remote retrieval of the files on the hard drive. You did not reference that in the letter. You just did the most basic recovery methods on your own, without guidance. You also did not mention if this particular problem is covered by their warranty and what makes you believe that. Alongside that, you neglected to mention where you bought the hard drive and when. Simply saying 3 months ago is insufficient. You must indicate that you will be including your receipt along with the letter in order to prove that the item is still covered by the warranty. There are a number of inaccuracies in this letter that make it hard to consider it for a passing score. While the grammar is acceptable, the presentation leaves many questions for the reader.

Your letter should follow the structure :
1) write the purpose why you are writing the letter
2) Explain the problem in detail with proper information
3) lastly ask them what needs to be done.

In this way you will cover all the points which is needed for a letter completion.