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I've written 3 paragraphs of urban life - an introduction, central paragraph and conclusion

missytender 1 / -  
Dec 26, 2014   #1
Please tell me my mistakes.
do you ever thinking about urban life as you strungle with it's chalenges every day? If you thinking about it , Perhaps the first things that comes to your mind are air pollution , traffic , Overpopulation and etc... . Daily city people are Scrimmaging with many problems like this but most of them because of their job and other restrictions may not migrate.

One of the serious problems of urban life is air pollution that associated with overcrowding and traffic. other reason for air pollution are greenhouse gas emission and factories. The minimum contribution that Urban people can do to reduce pollution is greater use of public transport. Efforts to reduce air pollution in the city is one of the conditions for healthy living.

Although urban life has its problems such as air pollution ,traffic and overpopulation , but most people have a dependency like dependency to job and these dependencies are forced to continue living in the city. So people should strive to make the more healthy life in city.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 26, 2014   #2
Sahar, these are not 3 paragraphs. A paragraph is composed of 3 sentences minimum with a specific topic discussed in each one. What you have written is more of a statement that has under developed ideas and incomplete set ups. I suggest that you provide us with the essay prompt and that you write the whole essay instead of presenting us with mere introductions to the paragraphs that do not really offer us an insight into what the essay will be all about and how it should come to an end. Is this for a TOEFL or IELTS test? Are you supposed to discuss 2 points of view and then offer your opinion? I am not really sure how to review your essay because of the missing prompt requirement. Clarify the discussion method for this essay so that I can better review your work. Thanks.

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