Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


13-year-old student in one school choose the study.



faizunaa17 49 / 66  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
The graph below shows information about the languages that 13-year-old student in one school choose the study.

The line chart displays the quantity of 13-year-old students that have taken Mandarin and French lesson in a school in England from 2000 to present. Overall, in the beginning French reached peak while Mandarin had lowest point. In addition, between 2000 and 2005, number of pupils who studied French increased significantly. In contrast, at the same period mandarin learner fell extremely. Besides, they looked like had more stable trend in the next following year.

It is clear that in 2000, only about 7 students that choose Mandarin as their subject and it had extra-large different with the French that have 150 learners. However, in 2005, while Mandarin raised sharply into almost ten times into about 70, French went down tremendously into near half of before at 85.

As we can see, in the next following year, from 2006 to present, both of them had fluctuated. But while French looked like moved slightly down, Mandarin had gone small upward.


  • Chart2.PNG


ryan31 65 / 89  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
hai faizuna
here is my suggestion for you
hope it works

I think it is necessary to include a measurement

... peak while Mandarin had the lowest >>> it is a superlative point.

... 2000 and 2005, the number of pupils who have studied French ...
... more stable trend in the next following year.

..., only about 7seven students that ...
However, in 2005, while Mandarin raisedrised sharply into almost (...) near half of before at 85 students .

But while>> two conjuctions in here French looked like ...

thanks
keep writing


Home / Writing Feedback / 13-year-old student in one school choose the study.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳