Compare and Contrast Essay About "The Giver"-Feedback

Hey I need someone to please give me some tips and feedback on how to improve my essay comparing the book "The Giver" and an imaginary Utopian society that I have created. You don't have edit the parts about facts from the book if you haven't read the book.

The Prompt
Before reading The Giver, you created a new Utopian society with your group members. Explore some of the more unique aspects of Jonas' world vs your fantastic utopian world by writing a four paragraph compare and contrast essay.

Paragraph 1: Intro
State your ideas of comparison and contrast from ideas/themes from The Giver and your utopian project and include a thesis statement.
Paragraph 2: Comparison Body Paragraph
Use at least 2-3 facts comparing two of the societies and supporting it by writing about it in more detail proving why your opinion is correct.

Paragraph 3: Contrast Body Paragraph
Use at least 2-3 facts comparing two of the societies and supporting it by writing about it in more detail proving why your opinion is correct.

Paragraph 4: Conclusion
Conclude the essay by summing up your opinions and facts and explain how our society can learn from your findings.

The Essay:

The Giver Compare and Contrast Essay
The Giver is about a supposedly perfect society, but as the book progresses it seems to be more of a dystopia with a totalitarian government. For people life is a routine activity that rarely changes. At United Islands you can do almost anything as long as it is not harmful. In some ways The Giver society and the United Island societies are different, but they also have similarities. We both have rules and leaders, but United Islands has fewer and less strict rules.

Here are some ways Jonas' community and United Islands are similar. One way Jonas' community is like United Islands is because we both have a group of leaders. We also share the fact that we both have certain rules, some rules that Jonas' community has is that snacks cannot be taken from school, and you can't brag. Also food is free and there are transportation systems, like in Jonas' society people receive bikes at the age of 9. In both societies violence and lying are not allowed. Another aspect we share in common with Jonas' community is that there are consequences for breaking rules. There are also different types of entertainment.

Although there are some ways United Islands and Jonas' community are the same. There are a lot more ways Jonas' community and United Islands are different. One example is that our society doesn't need anybody to work while in Jonas's community you are given Assignments such as Caretaker of the Old, Receiver of Memory, and others. Also we have color and music while they don't have these things. In United Islands, you can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't break the rules, but you have to follow the rules strictly in Jonas' community. You can get in trouble in Jonas' society just for speaking incorrectly or not eating snacks at school right away. In our society there is no school unlike Jonas' society where kids must go to school every day.

I think The Giver wanted us to realize how much we should appreciate our life and freedom. It's very important to remember how lucky we are, and that there is nothing more valuable than freedom. It is to our benefit that many things that you can't do in The Giver's society can be done at United Islands.

I think you should add one more sentence to the end of the first paragraph, before you start paragraph 2. Add a sentence, after this one above, and make it a thesis statement that tells the main point of the whole essay. Draw YOUR conclusion about what can be learned from looking at the sims and differences.


Instead of wasting words simply saying "here are some similarities," you should say something meaningful about the similarities. For example, "The similarities between Jonas' community and the United Islands demonstrate _________________________, so that the reader can get a sense of _______________. (i.e. say something meaningful)

All one sentence:
Although there are some ways United Islands and Jonas' community are the same, there are a lot more ways Jonas' community and United Islands are different differences than similarities.

:-)