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And the Mountains Echoed... Very confused with the thesis and overall structure of a literary essay.

Tandoki 1 / 1  
Apr 25, 2017   #1
New user in dire need of help!!

Basically what I'm doing is how a moral conflict is evoked between internal pursuits (a goal - becoming a scientist/attaining more money) and just the external side of things which I don't know how to name yet - one is selling a daughter, one is violence and maybe propaganda I'm not sure.

Can you please give me advice on how to write my external paragraph and especially, my morality paragraph? I'm completely confused because this is a very new structure I'm doing, it's like I'm breaking down my thesis into 3 interrelated points. But then, those points still have to be separate idk? I'm very confused, like my last paragraph about moral conflict, am I supposed to mention things I mentioned in the prior two paragraphs?

Hosseini's ATME

For example for external I have - Contrasting due to context, Hosseini's ATME instead depicts the troubling reality of Afghanistan's society in relation to poverty, expressed through the metaphor: "if you were poor, suffering was your currency." Conveying the emotional toll Saboor will have to pay, the result of Afghanistan's monetary dynamics manifest in his only option being to sell one of his children to the wealthy and powerful. Hosseini portrays this figuratively through the symbolism of storytelling as a representation for expressing Saboor's feelings: "pinholes into his opaque, inscrutable world," wherein Saboor's narration to his children of a traditional Afghani folktale: "if the div tapped on their roof, they would have to give it one child... it was said that curved horns spouted from its head... upon hearing it, Baba Ayub let an agonised cry escape his lips," parallels his internal thoughts upon choosing to sell his daughter. The characterisation of the mythical being as an evil, forceful creature represents Saboor's personal view of the corruptness pertaining to his society giving him no choice within his poor condition but to hand his child over. In this sense, the fact that Saboor must instigate a separation of his family, conflicts with his goal of attaining more money.

And then for moral conflict I have - Hosseini's ATME explores Saboor's deliberation against the malady of poverty in a dilemma inspired by those of many parents within the external world. Saboor's notion of sacrificing his daughter is expressed through the employment of a proverb: "the finger cut, to save a hand." This serves to convey his internal turmoil, wherein he must sell her so that not only may she live, but the rest of the family may be saved from starvation and death, rather than being a "coward who would see them all die rather than burden his own conscience." Here, the utilisation of a vindicated tone portrays his refusal to succumb to guilt. Furthermore, the utilisation of a philosophical metaphor: "cruelty and benevolence are but shades of the same colour," serves to represent Saboor's acknowledgement of the barbarity and subsequent invalidity of selling his child from a righteous standpoint, yet simultaneously realises an expression of well-meaning through his hope that by selling her to a richer couple, she will ultimately be happier and healthier. Like Werner, he experiences a moral conflict between his action and values - the cruelty of sacrificing his daughter, against what he believes is best for both her and the family's wellbeing.

And they're really bad I know I have to fix them (please tell me how to make them better), but they are very similar? How should I make them different then? I think they are still different in nature but they definitely do overlap a little, is that okay? And I don't know how to write a paragraph on 'moral conflict,' should I be talking about a guilty conscience and depression maybe (the effects of the conflict) rather than actually that?

P.S this is a comparative essay - I'll have to be talking about another book too, and I have no idea how to do that either, cause I don't know if I'm supposed to keep examples and ideas very separate or not? Like for the other one when I mention examples violence in the second para, am I supposed to mention those examples directly in the third paragraph too about moral conflict?

Argh thank you so much!!!!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Apr 25, 2017   #2
Tan, don't panic and keep your wits about you. Panicking will result in the worst kind of writing that you can develop. I am here to help you. I wasn't sure at first about how you help you better develop this essay. However, once you mentioned that this is supposed to be a comparative essay, everything clicked for me. In order for you to write a better structured essay, you need to make the comparisons between the two novels within each paragraph. Pick the points of comparison within the two novels first. Outline what parts your hope to compare and then look for the similarities and differences between the two. By using the outline first, you will be able to better develop suitable paragraphs for your presentation discussion. Don't discuss just one book completely and then discuss the second novel. These needs to be discussed in a related and seamless manner in order to better suit the comparative essay requirements.
OP Tandoki 1 / 1  
Apr 25, 2017   #3
Thanks for your advice! Unfortunately my essay is due very soon and I can't rewrite now though. I'm hoping to scrape by, but I'm not sure if I can manage higher than a B.

Hm, I do have comparisons, but they are lacking yeah, since they're at the beginning and end of the second text. I'm comparing and contrasting internal pursuit, and then the external side of things (which I am having trouble naming, I tried to just spin it about the nature of society), and then the moral conflict. So I'll definitely try to work on comparing more. But if it's okay with you, could you please check my thesis and the two paragraphs I pasted? Regardless of comparison, do you think they overlap too much? It's kinda hard not to have them overlap since I need to have the example, but maybe there's a different way to write them? Not that I really have time to change them majorly now anyway :/

Thank you sincerely for your time :)

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