Hello, I'm a high school (Grade 10) student that was required to write a five-paragraph essay on a theme in Macbeth. The topic given to us was rather boring, and the five paragraph limitation didn't make it any better; however, I still felt as though I could do a decent job on it. When I got it back a month later, graded, the mark of 57% was absolutely horrendous for a grade 10 English course. Anyway, my teacher fails to properly make corrections and explain what submitted pieces of writing are missing.
As such, I was wondering if the team here, or other members would be willing to tell me whats wrong with it, and why the teacher--of a grade 10 course mind you--would give that low a mark on it. I have another essay coming up and I don't want to make the same mistakes.
Thank you in advance
----------------------------------------------
Themes in Macbeth: Consequences of Corruption
Former United States president, John F. Kennedy, refers to the acquisition of power through immoral behaviour in his inaugural speech: "[i]n the past, those who have sought power by riding on the back of the tiger have ended up inside" (1961). Kennedy does so to explore the concept of power and greed resulting in corruption. In the play, Macbeth, the author, William Shakespeare, makes many references to the consequences associated with this form of corruption because these consequences complement the plot through the affect they have on major characters as well as situations in the play. The consequences are displayed through several sources in the place: first, Macbeth becomes corrupt in his quest for power due to misguided decisions; secondly, Lady Macbeth displays corruption through her ambitious and unethical behaviour; and lastly, Scotland suffers because of the corruption displayed by citizens of the country. The corruption leading to these consequences are made clear through the immoral acts committed by Macbeth, and his wife Lady Macbeth, which are provoked by their ambition and pursuit of power.
Despite being law-abiding citizens at one point in time, many often commit immoral acts in order to gain power. In doing so, they prove that their quest for power has corrupted them. Furthermore, the acts committed as a result of this corruption often leads to many consequences. In the play Macbeth, prime examples of the compromise of good moral values leading to consequences often relate to events revolving around the title character, Macbeth. When the story begins, Macbeth truly is a "peerless kinsmen" to the king (Shakespeare 1.4.66); however, as the story progresses others refer to him in this way only because they are oblivious to his true desires. The corruption of the principles which Macbeth initially appears to value is first made clear to the reader during a meeting with the king:
The Prince of Cumberland! That is a step.
On which I must fall down, or else overleap
For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires!
Let not light see my black and deep desires.
The eye wink at the hand, yet let that be
Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see (Shakespeare 1.4.56-61).
Here one can see that his loyalty to the king changes after he hears the witches prophecies; furthermore, the fact that he realizes that his desires are dark shows that he understands what must be done if he wishes to seize the throne, however he is still showing willingness to do it. His corruption is most evident when he successfully attains the throne after he murders the king, thus attaining his position of power through unethical means. This is relevant to the progression of the play because later events reflect his corrupted state, and are in some way connected to his decisions as king. Some consequences he faces as results of these actions are relatively obvious towards the end of the play, however, some consequences are also shown soon after killing the king. Macbeth's first major consequence is relatively common amongst those who fail to cope with actions induced by their corruption. The insomnia he develops following the murder of King Duncan is a result of the paranoia and fear over which he now obsesses. This is shown through the few times he does manage to sleep, and in doing so has nightmares which not only further his fears of dying unfulfilled but also his paranoia of losing the throne despite all he has done to seize it. As a result of this, Macbeth essentially surrenders his life to his obsession with retaining the throne. He initially believes that in seizing the highest authority, and therefore a considerable amount of power, he would gain immeasurable amounts of happiness; unfortunately, this is evidently not the case. Macbeth not only gains nothing, but also loses everything in his life which at first made him happy: society's respect, his wife, peace of mind and the benefits of relatively sound moral values. Macbeth himself acknowledges that his
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing (Shakespeare 5.5.44-48).
While Macbeth's nihilistic views are not applicable to society in general, they are significant to his immediate situation in that he realizes that he has become the witches puppet. Furthermore, Macbeth understands the situation and the possibility of death in his near future; therefore, considering that his life's purpose has become retaining his position as the King of Scotland, it is not surprising that he now views life in this way. This wouldïin many casesïbe regarded as one ofïif not theïworst consequence for a human being. Macbeth makes all his decisions in hope that they will put his mind at ease and rid him of his misery. Eventually, he realizes that death is likely in the near future, therefore denying him the opportunity to gradually improve his life. Macbeth's misery is put to rest when he, consequently, dies at the end of the play. All of Macbeth's tragic consequences clearly display the eventual penalties of corruption. In Macbeth's case, these were evidently a result of his change in character, and the immoral behaviour which enters his daily life.
Shakespeare uses Macbeth's desire to be king to display corruption through his change of character, the acts he commits and also to display the eventual consequences of them; similarly, he uses his wife, Lady Macbeth, to show that the concept of corruption resulting in consequences is not only specific to Macbeth's character. Shakespeare uses Lady Macbeth's lust for power and the extensive lengths she goes to in order to achieve it to display her corruption; moreover, he successfully shows the ultimate consequences of this corruption. The fact that she did not need to be driven to corruption, and that she is in many ways corrupt from the start is shown when she first learns of the witches' prophecies and Macbeth's new rank as the Thane of Cawdor. Because she is married to Macbeth, she also becomes more powerful when he attains this title; however, we see that as soon as she becomes more powerful, she lusts for more. She also expresses that she would be willing to go to any lengths for it:
Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here
And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full
Of direst cruelty, make thing my blood
Stop up the access and passage of remorse that no compunctious visiting of nature Shake my fell purpose nor keep peace between (1.5.43-49)
These lines are indicative of her desire for power in that they show that she wishes to be "evil" from top to bottom, therefore allowing her to easily do what needs to be doneïwhether it be killing to king or planning how to dethrone himïwithout much remorse or feelings of guilt. Furthermore, should she need to, she is willing to corrupt othersïher husband includedïto seize higher authority. She successfully does this when Macbeth second guesses their decision to kill the king. She suggests that in breaking his promise he will "live a coward in thine [Lady Macbeth's] own esteem" (1.7.46), therefore, she implies that by not killing the king he will have to live the life of a coward while losing the respect of his wife. Macbeth, despite his protests, does murder the king. It is evidently a result of Lady Macbeth's influence on him, because she succumbs to her greed a lot quicker than Macbeth does. Unlike Macbeth, however, she manages to remain strong and does not immediately fall apart after the murder. Her corruption plays a considerable role in the story's plot because she, along with the witches, triggers Macbeth's own corruption. To suggest that she easily overcomes her guilt and controls her own corruption with ease would be suggesting that she is strong enough, mentally, to overcome her fears and self-doubts; unfortunately, while this appears to be the case it is not true. Prior to the last act, one would still consider Lady Macbeth to be strong-willed and to have coped with the murder well; however, here one can notice her gradual collapse into the madness which she seemed to have avoided. Thus far, the consequences of her actions slowly become apparent, and they take a considerable toll on her well-being. They become evident when she sleepwalks and relives the night of the murder while doing so. Her sleepwalking expresses the build up of her guilt, which not seems to control her and is seemingly incurable. Even her doctor states that "[m]ore needs she the divine than the physician" because her state is due to a collapse in her mental state which he cannot explain (5.1.66); furthermore, if one could identify her exact illness, it would be difficult to aid her at this point in time because of her sensitive state. At the start of the play, she feels that simply washing off blood would rid them of the crime and allow them to move on, however, when living through the night again she contradicts her prior thoughts in that she now yells "[o]ut, damned spot" because she feels that this stain is impossible to get rid of (5.1.30). This implies than she also feels that the guilt of having participated in the murder of King Duncan is also impossible to get rid of. While her inability to cope with the situation increases, it appears as though her choices are limited and that her life has been reduced to a life of remorse. Her consequence appears to be living a life which has lost all purpose, and can no longer provide her with happiness. Death appears to outshine her current situation when sheïseeminglyïcommits suicide. Despite the fact that she commits suicide to put her mind at ease, it is difficult to regard death as pleasant in any situation. Shakespeare successfully integrates the corruption of Lady Macbeth and the consequences she faces directly into the plot. One can see the affect of both her ambition and her consequence of death on Macbeth given that they alter his point of view on the situations at hand. Despite seeming to be a strong character that is capable of coping with the murder, Lady Macbeth clearly breaks down overtime; therefore, one can see that even those who appear to be mentally strong may face multiple consequences for their immoral actions. Evidently, Lady Macbeth's corrupt behaviour led to the gradual demise of her blissful life.
It is widely accepted that corrupted behaviour often leads the perpetrator of this behaviour to ruins; regrettably, people often fail to realize the consequences this behaviour has on the society in which they live. In Shakespeare's play, Macbeth, the corruption within the title character, Macbeth, has visible effects on the country over which he eventually rules, Scotland. This is observed through the multiple changes in Scotland when control over the country shifts from King Duncan to Macbeth. Under Macbeth's rule, Scotland falls off the "Chain of Being" which results in the loss of proper leadership and prosperity in the country. During the time period in which this play takes place, the basis of the people's ideology of the world is the "Chain of Being". This allows them to believe that all beings in the universe are ordered based on their superiority. This order also allows them to assume the king is God's representative on Earth because he is closest to God in the order. Most people in Scotland will obey Macbeth as a result of their oversimplified views of the world, and expect him to lead the country. Therefore, when Macbeth becomes King through unethical means, Scotland falls with him due to his ineffectiveness as a leader. One can better understand the odd situation when Macbeth becomes king through concern expressed by an old man to Ross that the situation in Scotland "'[t]is unnatural" (Shakespeare 2.4.12). The old man is explaining that natural order according to the "Chain of Being" has been altered in a manner which is detrimental towards the successful progression of the country. Several characters show concern regarding Macbeth's ability to lead while claiming that under his leadership Scotland "weeps, it bleeds, and each new day a gash / [i]s added to her wounds (Shakespeare 4.3.46-47). Macbeth pursues the throne because of the power associated with it, therefore failing to understand the true purpose of the authority granted to the king. Furthermore, his paranoia caused by his fear of losing his position of power results in obsessive behaviour centred on retaining the throne; consequently, he overlooks his responsibilities as the king. It is difficult for Macbeth to influence others to contribute towards the success and progression of Scotland when he himself is unable to have a positive influence on the land. Consequently, Scotland's once prosperous situation goes on a rapid decline as the country plunges into despair. This state of despair is one in which even the citizens of the country see it as not their home, but rather their "grave; where nothing, / But who knows nothing, is once seen to smile; / Where sighs and groans and shrieks that rend [fill] the air /" (Shakespeare 4.3.185-187). Scotland appears to be comparable to a cemetery shrouded in darkness; therefore, one can assume that it is not a pleasant place to live. One can clearly see how the corruption of just one person can affect the society around them. In Macbeth's situation, the affect of his corruption on society is amplified by his position in the society as the unquestioned leader, or rather, the king. Scotland suffers the consequences of being led by Macbeth, whose corruption leads to immoral actions and whose lack of leadership qualities results in an inability to compensate for this corruption. While Macbeth and Lady Macbeth clearly face severe consequences, the consequences they face are not comparable to those that Scotland involuntarily faces. Scotland's consequences affect more than one individual at a time and yet can still be caused by just one individual.
As observed, Shakespeare displays corruption in Macbeth through the characters Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, as well as through the effects of their corruption on Scotland. Through these three sources, it is evident that the consequences of corruption presented in the play are significant in the overall plot of the story through the development of main characters and key concepts. While this play explores corruption a few centuries ago, the aforementioned quotation from John F. Kennedy's inaugural speech shows that corruption is still prevalent in modern society. Similar to the situation in Macbeth, consequences of this corruption affect not only the person responsible for the corruption, but also the society in which they reside.
------------------
Some things are obviously missing, i.e. underlines whenever Macbeth is referred to as a title as opposed to the character, but thats simply from the copy paste from the word document.
As such, I was wondering if the team here, or other members would be willing to tell me whats wrong with it, and why the teacher--of a grade 10 course mind you--would give that low a mark on it. I have another essay coming up and I don't want to make the same mistakes.
Thank you in advance
----------------------------------------------
Themes in Macbeth: Consequences of Corruption
Former United States president, John F. Kennedy, refers to the acquisition of power through immoral behaviour in his inaugural speech: "[i]n the past, those who have sought power by riding on the back of the tiger have ended up inside" (1961). Kennedy does so to explore the concept of power and greed resulting in corruption. In the play, Macbeth, the author, William Shakespeare, makes many references to the consequences associated with this form of corruption because these consequences complement the plot through the affect they have on major characters as well as situations in the play. The consequences are displayed through several sources in the place: first, Macbeth becomes corrupt in his quest for power due to misguided decisions; secondly, Lady Macbeth displays corruption through her ambitious and unethical behaviour; and lastly, Scotland suffers because of the corruption displayed by citizens of the country. The corruption leading to these consequences are made clear through the immoral acts committed by Macbeth, and his wife Lady Macbeth, which are provoked by their ambition and pursuit of power.
Despite being law-abiding citizens at one point in time, many often commit immoral acts in order to gain power. In doing so, they prove that their quest for power has corrupted them. Furthermore, the acts committed as a result of this corruption often leads to many consequences. In the play Macbeth, prime examples of the compromise of good moral values leading to consequences often relate to events revolving around the title character, Macbeth. When the story begins, Macbeth truly is a "peerless kinsmen" to the king (Shakespeare 1.4.66); however, as the story progresses others refer to him in this way only because they are oblivious to his true desires. The corruption of the principles which Macbeth initially appears to value is first made clear to the reader during a meeting with the king:
The Prince of Cumberland! That is a step.
On which I must fall down, or else overleap
For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires!
Let not light see my black and deep desires.
The eye wink at the hand, yet let that be
Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see (Shakespeare 1.4.56-61).
Here one can see that his loyalty to the king changes after he hears the witches prophecies; furthermore, the fact that he realizes that his desires are dark shows that he understands what must be done if he wishes to seize the throne, however he is still showing willingness to do it. His corruption is most evident when he successfully attains the throne after he murders the king, thus attaining his position of power through unethical means. This is relevant to the progression of the play because later events reflect his corrupted state, and are in some way connected to his decisions as king. Some consequences he faces as results of these actions are relatively obvious towards the end of the play, however, some consequences are also shown soon after killing the king. Macbeth's first major consequence is relatively common amongst those who fail to cope with actions induced by their corruption. The insomnia he develops following the murder of King Duncan is a result of the paranoia and fear over which he now obsesses. This is shown through the few times he does manage to sleep, and in doing so has nightmares which not only further his fears of dying unfulfilled but also his paranoia of losing the throne despite all he has done to seize it. As a result of this, Macbeth essentially surrenders his life to his obsession with retaining the throne. He initially believes that in seizing the highest authority, and therefore a considerable amount of power, he would gain immeasurable amounts of happiness; unfortunately, this is evidently not the case. Macbeth not only gains nothing, but also loses everything in his life which at first made him happy: society's respect, his wife, peace of mind and the benefits of relatively sound moral values. Macbeth himself acknowledges that his
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing (Shakespeare 5.5.44-48).
While Macbeth's nihilistic views are not applicable to society in general, they are significant to his immediate situation in that he realizes that he has become the witches puppet. Furthermore, Macbeth understands the situation and the possibility of death in his near future; therefore, considering that his life's purpose has become retaining his position as the King of Scotland, it is not surprising that he now views life in this way. This wouldïin many casesïbe regarded as one ofïif not theïworst consequence for a human being. Macbeth makes all his decisions in hope that they will put his mind at ease and rid him of his misery. Eventually, he realizes that death is likely in the near future, therefore denying him the opportunity to gradually improve his life. Macbeth's misery is put to rest when he, consequently, dies at the end of the play. All of Macbeth's tragic consequences clearly display the eventual penalties of corruption. In Macbeth's case, these were evidently a result of his change in character, and the immoral behaviour which enters his daily life.
Shakespeare uses Macbeth's desire to be king to display corruption through his change of character, the acts he commits and also to display the eventual consequences of them; similarly, he uses his wife, Lady Macbeth, to show that the concept of corruption resulting in consequences is not only specific to Macbeth's character. Shakespeare uses Lady Macbeth's lust for power and the extensive lengths she goes to in order to achieve it to display her corruption; moreover, he successfully shows the ultimate consequences of this corruption. The fact that she did not need to be driven to corruption, and that she is in many ways corrupt from the start is shown when she first learns of the witches' prophecies and Macbeth's new rank as the Thane of Cawdor. Because she is married to Macbeth, she also becomes more powerful when he attains this title; however, we see that as soon as she becomes more powerful, she lusts for more. She also expresses that she would be willing to go to any lengths for it:
Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here
And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full
Of direst cruelty, make thing my blood
Stop up the access and passage of remorse that no compunctious visiting of nature Shake my fell purpose nor keep peace between (1.5.43-49)
These lines are indicative of her desire for power in that they show that she wishes to be "evil" from top to bottom, therefore allowing her to easily do what needs to be doneïwhether it be killing to king or planning how to dethrone himïwithout much remorse or feelings of guilt. Furthermore, should she need to, she is willing to corrupt othersïher husband includedïto seize higher authority. She successfully does this when Macbeth second guesses their decision to kill the king. She suggests that in breaking his promise he will "live a coward in thine [Lady Macbeth's] own esteem" (1.7.46), therefore, she implies that by not killing the king he will have to live the life of a coward while losing the respect of his wife. Macbeth, despite his protests, does murder the king. It is evidently a result of Lady Macbeth's influence on him, because she succumbs to her greed a lot quicker than Macbeth does. Unlike Macbeth, however, she manages to remain strong and does not immediately fall apart after the murder. Her corruption plays a considerable role in the story's plot because she, along with the witches, triggers Macbeth's own corruption. To suggest that she easily overcomes her guilt and controls her own corruption with ease would be suggesting that she is strong enough, mentally, to overcome her fears and self-doubts; unfortunately, while this appears to be the case it is not true. Prior to the last act, one would still consider Lady Macbeth to be strong-willed and to have coped with the murder well; however, here one can notice her gradual collapse into the madness which she seemed to have avoided. Thus far, the consequences of her actions slowly become apparent, and they take a considerable toll on her well-being. They become evident when she sleepwalks and relives the night of the murder while doing so. Her sleepwalking expresses the build up of her guilt, which not seems to control her and is seemingly incurable. Even her doctor states that "[m]ore needs she the divine than the physician" because her state is due to a collapse in her mental state which he cannot explain (5.1.66); furthermore, if one could identify her exact illness, it would be difficult to aid her at this point in time because of her sensitive state. At the start of the play, she feels that simply washing off blood would rid them of the crime and allow them to move on, however, when living through the night again she contradicts her prior thoughts in that she now yells "[o]ut, damned spot" because she feels that this stain is impossible to get rid of (5.1.30). This implies than she also feels that the guilt of having participated in the murder of King Duncan is also impossible to get rid of. While her inability to cope with the situation increases, it appears as though her choices are limited and that her life has been reduced to a life of remorse. Her consequence appears to be living a life which has lost all purpose, and can no longer provide her with happiness. Death appears to outshine her current situation when sheïseeminglyïcommits suicide. Despite the fact that she commits suicide to put her mind at ease, it is difficult to regard death as pleasant in any situation. Shakespeare successfully integrates the corruption of Lady Macbeth and the consequences she faces directly into the plot. One can see the affect of both her ambition and her consequence of death on Macbeth given that they alter his point of view on the situations at hand. Despite seeming to be a strong character that is capable of coping with the murder, Lady Macbeth clearly breaks down overtime; therefore, one can see that even those who appear to be mentally strong may face multiple consequences for their immoral actions. Evidently, Lady Macbeth's corrupt behaviour led to the gradual demise of her blissful life.
It is widely accepted that corrupted behaviour often leads the perpetrator of this behaviour to ruins; regrettably, people often fail to realize the consequences this behaviour has on the society in which they live. In Shakespeare's play, Macbeth, the corruption within the title character, Macbeth, has visible effects on the country over which he eventually rules, Scotland. This is observed through the multiple changes in Scotland when control over the country shifts from King Duncan to Macbeth. Under Macbeth's rule, Scotland falls off the "Chain of Being" which results in the loss of proper leadership and prosperity in the country. During the time period in which this play takes place, the basis of the people's ideology of the world is the "Chain of Being". This allows them to believe that all beings in the universe are ordered based on their superiority. This order also allows them to assume the king is God's representative on Earth because he is closest to God in the order. Most people in Scotland will obey Macbeth as a result of their oversimplified views of the world, and expect him to lead the country. Therefore, when Macbeth becomes King through unethical means, Scotland falls with him due to his ineffectiveness as a leader. One can better understand the odd situation when Macbeth becomes king through concern expressed by an old man to Ross that the situation in Scotland "'[t]is unnatural" (Shakespeare 2.4.12). The old man is explaining that natural order according to the "Chain of Being" has been altered in a manner which is detrimental towards the successful progression of the country. Several characters show concern regarding Macbeth's ability to lead while claiming that under his leadership Scotland "weeps, it bleeds, and each new day a gash / [i]s added to her wounds (Shakespeare 4.3.46-47). Macbeth pursues the throne because of the power associated with it, therefore failing to understand the true purpose of the authority granted to the king. Furthermore, his paranoia caused by his fear of losing his position of power results in obsessive behaviour centred on retaining the throne; consequently, he overlooks his responsibilities as the king. It is difficult for Macbeth to influence others to contribute towards the success and progression of Scotland when he himself is unable to have a positive influence on the land. Consequently, Scotland's once prosperous situation goes on a rapid decline as the country plunges into despair. This state of despair is one in which even the citizens of the country see it as not their home, but rather their "grave; where nothing, / But who knows nothing, is once seen to smile; / Where sighs and groans and shrieks that rend [fill] the air /" (Shakespeare 4.3.185-187). Scotland appears to be comparable to a cemetery shrouded in darkness; therefore, one can assume that it is not a pleasant place to live. One can clearly see how the corruption of just one person can affect the society around them. In Macbeth's situation, the affect of his corruption on society is amplified by his position in the society as the unquestioned leader, or rather, the king. Scotland suffers the consequences of being led by Macbeth, whose corruption leads to immoral actions and whose lack of leadership qualities results in an inability to compensate for this corruption. While Macbeth and Lady Macbeth clearly face severe consequences, the consequences they face are not comparable to those that Scotland involuntarily faces. Scotland's consequences affect more than one individual at a time and yet can still be caused by just one individual.
As observed, Shakespeare displays corruption in Macbeth through the characters Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, as well as through the effects of their corruption on Scotland. Through these three sources, it is evident that the consequences of corruption presented in the play are significant in the overall plot of the story through the development of main characters and key concepts. While this play explores corruption a few centuries ago, the aforementioned quotation from John F. Kennedy's inaugural speech shows that corruption is still prevalent in modern society. Similar to the situation in Macbeth, consequences of this corruption affect not only the person responsible for the corruption, but also the society in which they reside.
------------------
Some things are obviously missing, i.e. underlines whenever Macbeth is referred to as a title as opposed to the character, but thats simply from the copy paste from the word document.
