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Aim to entertain using quotation and contrast - essay intro



pinks1026 8 / 3  
Oct 6, 2008   #1
prompt- aim to entertain using quotation and contrast. INTRODUCTION only for now.

Thesis- Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive. (Plan)

Quotation:
"All that I am, or owe to be, I owe to my angel mother," this is just one of my favorite quotations from Abraham Lincoln quotes. Throughout my life, although there were times that I fail or disappoint my mother, she has never fail to always be there for me whenever, whichever and whatever. I think that I have become a wonderful person because my mother brought me up properly with good values and her guidance. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive.

Contrast
It is sad that these days that many of the kids don't understand why their parents especially their mothers are always there for them. Some of the kids are really being disrespectful to their mothers who just want the best for their children. They don't appreciate what their mothers do for them. They don't realized how important their mothers are until it is too late. But for me, I take every chance to thank my mother for everything she has done for me. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Oct 7, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

As I am not sure what kind of assistance you are seeking, I have edited for mechanics and grammar only:

"Quotation:
"All that I am, or owe to be, I owe to my angel mother," this is just one of my favorite quotations from Abraham Lincoln. Throughout my life, although there were times that I fail or disappoint my mother, she has never failed to always be there for me whenever, whichever, and whatever I need . I think that I have become a wonderful person because my mother brought me up properly with good values and her guidance. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are kindness, patience, and support .(If this is your thesis, it should appear earlier in the essay; preferably right after the quote.)

Contrast
It is sad that these days that many kids do not understand why their parents, especially their mothers, are always there for them. Some of the kids are very disrespectful to their mothers, who just want the best for their children. They do not appreciate what their mothers do for them. They don'trealize how important their mothers are until it is too late. But for me, I take every chance to thank my mother for everything she has done for me. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive." Why is this repeated? It seems very tacky and redundant here.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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