I have to write about my favorite place for my english class. I think my professor focuses on how well each paragraph follows its topic sentence, and I am not good at writing thoroughly and consistently. Thank you.
The capital of South Korea, Seoul, despite the incessant attempts of the government to grow the city out of the sullen and gloomy images of rapid industrialization and economic growth to recover from the relentless devastation from the Korean War, was on the list of 'Your least favorite cities' by one of the promising traveling guide websites, Lonely Plane. The article, which introduced Seoul as the third most hated city in the world, ruffled many South Koreans who vigorously promoted to reverse many opposing views on South Korea. I cannot give my undivided consent to the pungent comment given as the description of Seoul: "It's an appallingly repetitive sprawl of freeways and Soviet-style concrete apartment buildings, horribly polluted, with no heart or spirit to it. So oppressively bland that the populace is driven to alcoholism"(Wagle) . Certainly it is a harsh criticism for what I have seen from the place that I am about to write about.
Hangang penetrates the most complex and largest city in South Korea, dividing it into two parts above and below. As it is located in the heart of Korea, it is the economic, political and cultural center of South Korea. Therefore, one can say that we have originated from Hangang. Around it we have built nest, economy, culture, transportation, entertainment and more. Hangang, however, has never been incongruous with what has been around it.
Whether Hangang fits us or we fit into Hangang, our lifestyle always matched well with Hangang. In the old days Hangang was a versatile place, which benefited us. It was a trade route and the military strategic spot. In addition, people did the wash, obtained drinking water and played in water. Accordingly, Hangang grew up with us and represents the history of Korea. Nowadays, Hangang has been transformed to provide familiar features of comfort, convenience and intimacy, which meet the changes that the passage of time and the development of technology have brought to us.
As it is the nest of Koreans, Hangang is the place I am fond of whether I was younger or older. I used to come to the park around Hangang with my family when I was young. From what I remember, on Children's day my family used to come to a park around Hangang. Before we even got to the park, we could figure out how many people were already in the park from innumerable cars in the parking lot, which looked like a marching of a number of ants. The park was crowded, as expected, but being with family overwhelmed any annoyance and inconvenience. Singers were performing somewhere, making the atmosphere more like a cheerful holiday. Before doing anything else, we got on a ferry that goes around Hangang for sightseeing. I smiled at some lovers who imitated the romantic scene in the movie Titanic, where Rose and Jack stand on the front deck and feel the wind with Rose's arms straightened out. Then in the ferry I saw the different vision of Seoul, more delicate and peaceful. After returning to the park, I played soccer with my father and brothers. When I got hungry from playing and running around, we sat in a mat, where my grandmother and mother were having a chat. Looking at the serenity of Hangang flowing, contrary to the noise made by delightful people, I ate the palatable dish, made by my mother. A puff of breeze from Hangang cooled down the sweat on my skin. Maybe, that tranquility drags me back.
Then, it is when I was old enough to drive that I opened my eyes to the serendipity of the night view of Seoul. It may not be as legendarily majestic as Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon, but it certainly fascinates one in some other ways. In summer a breeze of air of Hangang captivates the sleepless people who are fatigued by the sweltering nights, but there are performances in bridges, using iridescent lights with spouts of water. They dispel the fiery weather. On the other hand, the sight of Hangang in winter is somewhat different from that in summer, because the beauty of Hangang reaches the summit in winter. The will of people to stay inside pervades the mind of all. Coming out to Hangang by myself fascinates me as much as it does in summer. The coldness cannot overcome my determination, because I am aware of how preciousness. I halt my car in the parking lot in which there are barely five cars within the range of vision. I turn off the engine and light, which are so loud and bright in the darkness of night that I wonder if they might wake up the creatures that may be sleeping somewhere. I come out of the car and sit on a bench without stopping looking at the scenery. I stare at it as if I am mesmerized. I assume what I see as a picture of a renowned artist in an exhibition. It is a live picture with no frame. The picture is majorly painted in white, pointed by some bright orange and white colors. Snow clothes the frozen river while trees are covered by snow, creating wonderful scenery of nature, where everything is monochrome in white. It calms me down. Looking at the view, I remain speechless and cannot acknowledge the passage of time and the transient flow of Hangang. Time seems to stop there, and all the objects look still. Only few cars running on highways make it believable that I am breathing.
Unlike what would be expected to be seen as said by the critic, the gloomy concrete buildings of endless heights blocking everything from everyone, the width of Hangang being about 2 km shows the one side of Seoul to the other side and broad vacant sky as well. The harmony of nature and artificial civilization, which never looks incongruous and discordant, astonishes many who did not expect the accord of concrete buildings and river. In front of the extraordinary scenery shown, I feel as if all the substantial or trivial matters are resolved or forgotten, or in the first place their existence may be questioned. So my anguish and concerns should not matter. I ruminate upon my concerns, recall problems and reflect on myself, but never do I evoke sorrow or worries. No thoughts really come to my mind, because in front of me the scene in which all different people somewhere on the other side of this river, trying to gain something out of their circumstances, bad or good, live along. The fact that while they struggle, I am sitting here, worried about some trifling concerns makes me think I am still immature, stuck in a small box that I could not still have gotten out. Hangang ripens me.
For the rest of my life Hangang will be the refuge where I can rest with quietness. Whether the happiness or sadness is with me, I will come here. When I am troubled with my life, I will be found nowhere else but in this place that soothes me. If I am content and delightful, I will be found here as well to share the joy with others who may be struggling with their lives on the other side of Hangang somewhere. As Hangang has been, it will flow with us. It is the evidence and history of our civilization.
I think my professor focuses on how well each paragraph follows its topic sentence, and I am not good at writing thoroughly and consistently. Thank you.
Well, the thing to do is start by writing a list of topic sentences. Then, for each sentence, go back and let a whole paragraph "grow" out of it.
Certainly it is a harsh criticism for what I have seen from the place that I am about to write about.--- instead of just saying it is a harsh criticism, end this paragraph with a sentence that tells your main idea. If you had to tell the argument of the whole essay in one sentence, do it here.
Your first few paragraphs have good topic sentences that capture the idea of each paragraph.
As it is the nest of Koreans, Hangang is the place have been fond of both as a child and as a young adult.
am fond of whether I was younger or older.Unlik
e what would one might expect to see, as explained by the critic, the gloomy concrete buildings of endless heights blocking everything from everyon
e; the width of Hangang being about 2 km shows the one side of Seoul to the other side and broad vacant sky as well.------ A topic sentence should be added before this sentence. This is not a good topic sentence, because it does not give the main idea of the paragraph.
This will get a good grade, I think!! Your effort really shows.
