A descriptive essay about a problem in my school, help with my thesis

I had to write a descriptive essay about a problem in my school, I need advice on how I can make my thesis more stronger

What is our tuition going to? While I uncomfortably sat in my fine arts class, I began to think of what my tuition money is going to. I paid tuition so that I can learn in a comfortable environment, but is that what I received? No, instead I seat in an elementary size desk, jammed in a straight line between others, and succumbed to confused ventilators that seems as though it debates weather the room should be hot or cold. The administration office should put more funds into the comfort of students, while they are attending in a classroom.

How about this for a thesis statement? I am assuming you are speaking about a college, due to the fact that you refer to tuition, however this could be changed to fit a boarding school or other private education facility also.

"Colleges pontificate about their new and state of the art educational facilities. However, as I sit uncomfortably in my desk, clearly meant for a child around the age of six, I cannot help but wonder, where did all of my tuition funds go to? If -insert school name- intends to continue charging their tuition rates, and also continue drawing the student body that they have been so proud of, then the upper level administration must consider investing in more comfortable learning environments for their students."

Best of luck on your essay!

Mariah