Doping in sports - Toulmin model essay

Hi,

I have a final paper due in three weeks and I'm having trouble getting started. It's supposed to be a Toulmin Essay with at least 5 academic sources and address a debatable topic.

So far what I have is this for my outline:

1. Research question (consult the document following this template if you are unclear about research questions):

Why are athletes using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) in sports?

2. Three major areas of investigation/focus
- Reasons for using PED?
- Benefits/Positive and negative for doping in sports.
- Regulatory bodies for anti-doping and governance.

3. List of major points to be made in the paper

a. History of doping and anti-doping systems.
b. Benefits such as fame and fortunes of doping
c. Doping for recreational use
d. Adverse negative side-effects of doping
e. Current regulatory bodies for doping and improvements.

4. Your thesis (answer to your research question) based upon your readings and your annotated bibliography:

Athletes are using performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) because they believe that it gives them a competitive advantage which will provide them with potential financial success, social status, and aesthetic appeal.

I would love to get some feedback or hear some other suggestions on the topic and how I can improve on my thesis. I feel that it is very weak right now. I'm horrible at writing essays and this class is difficult for me because writing doesn't come to me. I'm a lot better with mathematical courses where there is a right and wrong answer.

You should look into representing the health drawbacks of using PED's. The negatives should have its own topic and sub topic because it requires a very in-depth discussion that can't be done as a simple paragraph or two in a specific topic. Have you given any thought to giving a concrete example of how PED's can cause the downfall of an athlete? Somehow I feel that a reference to Lance Armstrong and his Tour De France historic downfall must be presented in the discussion.

Armstrong, being the epitome of the athlete who crushed his career by his creative use of PED's should definitely be included in this essay. Perhaps you can use his career as the basis for your thesis development which at the moment requires some further work. You said :

Athletes are using performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) because they believe that it gives them a competitive advantage which will provide them with potential financial success, social status, and aesthetic appeal.

While the list of your discussion topics are relevant and quite intricate in relation to your partial thesis, I believe that it could be further strengthened if you would add something like:

In order to understand the appeal of the PED on the athletes and their mindset, one must first understand how the drug alters their state of mind and how that altered state is what makes them vulnerable rather than stronger. This essay will present evidence as to how these drugs affect the psychological stability and physical well being of its user along with information as to why this should be prevented.

thank you for your input. I'll take the Lance Armstrong point into consideration and the part of the thesis. I'm going to do more research on the Lance Armstrong point but I don't think I want to have a huge portion of the essay on him.

Well Martryx, you have quiet a plan laid out already, I believe you have it all set and all you have to do is manage an extensive research to back up your paper.

On the other hand, it will help if you do an introduction of the entire research paper, this way, the reader os the paper will know exactly what they're reading about and what to expect on the paper. It will also help if you can manage to incorporate the works to be cited in the body of your research or whenever possible, this way, the paper will have a known source by the time they read the facts and not to have to review it at the end of the paper.

When you do start writing, add some current events in the world of sports, this will keep your research paper up to date and makes more sense, this will also deliver a good source of information to the public and to the panel that will review your paper thoroughly.

Moreover, try to keep your research paper have that blow by blow effect, like it should have one strong appeal after the other so that it will not bore the paper.

When you have it written, post it here on EF so we can assist you further.