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Hardships among women in Afghanistan and other places. Help with conclusion.


Jonyface 3 / 4 1  
Dec 7, 2015   #1
As of today, many women in Afghanistan and other places in the world still endure similar hardships the protagonists Laila and Mariam experienced. Laila was neglected by her mother; Mariam her father, women's rights were stripped away by political leaders, and Laila and Mariam are objectified through the connection of marriage to Rasheed. Parental neglect, lack of rights, objectification and forced marriages are all issues related to gender equality that is cleverly portrayed in A Thousand Splendid Suns through the lives of Laila and Mariam. Both characters were successful in demonstrating strength and resiliency towards male dominance. However, not every oppressed woman has the courage and intellect to stand up to her oppressor. It takes the combined effort of the free and oppressed to hopefully one day achieve true gender equality.

- Does the bolded sentannce have proper structure?
- Does the last few sentances sound like an ending to an essay?
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Dec 7, 2015   #2
Jonathan, I'd like to share my insights on your essay conclusion.

Conclusion
- and forced marriages are all issues related
- cleverly portrayed in " A Thousand Splendid Suns through the lives of Laila and Mariam" .
- It takes thea combined effort of the free and oppressed party to hopefully one day achieve true gender equality.

Jonathan, I would also like to help you practice in your sentences because practice definitely helps.
- Does the bolded sentanncesentence have proper structure?
Writing the sentence in bold format does not really change what you are trying to convey, you just have to strengthen your sentences, this is what makes more sense.

- Does the last few sente nces sound like an ending to an essay?
Yes, the last few sentences does have an impact of an ending or closing remark.

I hope I was able to help.
ferdquayson 1 / 2  
Dec 8, 2015   #3
Hi Jonathan, thanks for your contribution to my essay.
These are my thought on your essay.
The introduction is good, but I agree with Akbar's correction

- Laila is neglected by her mother;Mariam ignored by her father. Their rights are stripped by political leaders and the community at large. Their only objectification is through their marriage connection with Rasheed.

- Parental neglect, right abuse and forced marriages are
- It takes the combined effort of the free and the oppressed to hopefully achieve true gender equality.

Hope this helps


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