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Personal non-Fiction Essay - I have no idea where i'm going with this (Grade 12 Student)



presmanM 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2014   #1
Hello, If you are reading this then i thank you already but ill cut the crap and get to the point.
I am writing a personal, non-fiction essay and I have a series of subjects to write of. They must be written in relation to other essays. I have chosen to write classification or narrative essay.

I can't really describe what i'm talking about as i'm confused where to take my essay next but I believe i want to talk about how Goals in peoples life change who they are completely.

Please read, and thank you. I understand this is a tedious task and if you require a reward ($) i will gladly pay for your contribution.

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The summer going into grade 12 was without a doubt my best summer. Not because I knew it would be my last, nor because I partied every day and night, but because of the excitement I had in pursuing my goals. Year after year, I would slack off, make excuses, and complain... But that summer I REALLY opened my eyes to what I wanted. The big city life, living large as a banker. I'm thankful for what the idea of post-secondary did to me: it frightened me and woke me up to realize my dream. The idea of being able to step outside of my home to heaves of people and buildings that shine a portrait- like backdrop is my idea of a happy life.

This is what I want, and last summer I knew that I had to have it.

Without the drive to succeed in order to achieve your goals, there are people that will beat you there, and that's inevitable. But with that drive, your body ignites a sort of fuel within you that you never knew you possessed. When I had realized my goal, my drive to succeed followed. And I'm glad it did, as I hope it shall continue to follow throughout my journey. The drive helps me push myself harder and harder each and every day. Knowing that when I get lazy at moment it pushes me to get back on track because that drive helps me realize that my dream will not come to me, I have to go and get it.

I realized that the only difference between myself and the other thousands of people is how much I want it and what I am willing to do.

It's truly remarkable how a life goal can change what you think you know of yourself or of the world around you. And all of this simply comes by setting goals high, because if you reach them you know they can be set higher.

But I knew that this change, although not simple nor a quick one, would be a rewarding one.

When my journey towards my goals begun in the first semester of grade 12, I never thought that I would stress so much over my goals and have to work this to reach them.

But stress is good, stress is the reassuring factor inside my head that tells me okay, you are working to get where you want but work harder because it is possible. Without stress we are simply chimpanzees aiming to have enough bananas to feed on in the moment, and don't think of tomorrows banana supply.

Work, work, and even more work without that there are no tricks or special tips in order to succeed. All my idols are self made men: Ralph Lauren, Warren Buffet, and Abraham Lincoln. They all have one thing in common, that is the commitment for the goals that they set and their accomplishment of just that. I admire dedication and I hope to follow the path of these men on some level by following through with my goals.

The goals I set determine the success level that I want to reach. But sometimes the hardest part in changing who I am, is convincing other of my change. Although people would not explicitly tell me of their lack of faith in me, it is quite obvious. I understand why, and personally I would most likely feel as they do. But nevertheless, I am not going to let that discourage me. Because quitting is what losers do, and I am not about to quit now, nor ever.

"The Step Not Taken" was the essay which inspired me to write my essay in a contrast manner, as the motivation had come from making the correlation in the title and the story itself. The step not taken is a story of a man with regret as he thinks what could have been if he chose to change who he was by helping out a man in need. While my essay speaks of my revelation and understanding in what will happen if I take my step in which had never been taken before and why I chose to take that step. With D'angelo putting his understanding of what could of been if he decided to change his self-fish ways and help out the man I put my understanding of what will be if I don't help myself and change my ways.

To put this in better perspective and relation to "The Step Not Taken" the elevator is like my summer, the crying man is my future and I am the man taking in all of it. But in my scenario instead of walking out, I choose to change my old ways which would have left the man there to perish, and I had decided to help out the man because I know this is the right and logical thing to do.

KhanhZ 5 / 131  
Feb 27, 2014   #2
Hey there, Michael,

This doesn't seem like a full essay. Is this like, I don't know, an introduction of sorts?
If this is your full version, then its too short and too general, so you should totally expand and introduce some real personal story in which you struggled to reach your goal or something. And you wrote "in relation to other essays", do you have those essays or what exactly do you mean?

And yeah, if you could send me some bananas that would be awfully nice.
KhanhZ 5 / 131  
Mar 3, 2014   #3
Hey Michael,

Below are some of my suggestions:

A nice introduction, but after that the whole bulk of your essay is just your thoughts and general reflections on goals and motivation -- I still don't see a PERSONAL story, like a specific episode from your life, because isn't that what personal narrative supposedly consist of?.

... and by the way, Where are my b'nanas!?


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