"Watermelon-eating months in New Orleans" - Need help is this a good thesis

As a child, I was always saddened at the thought of leaving my friends on the last day of school. Although it was only for two months every year, it felt like it would be forever. However, those feelings would quickly disappear, as every summer I knew that I would be spending those watermelon-eating months in New Orleans with my favorite cousin, Mike. That was only where the excitement begins. The way they ended gave me unforgettable memories, with priceless moments, and how life changes without any notice.

I don't think I would phrase your last sentence with "the way they ended," but maybe something like "these summers..." Also watch your grammer in "gave me unforgettable memories, with priceless moments, and how life changes without any notice." You need to add something like "taught me" in front of that last bit. Other than that I think it's a pretty good thesis...you should maybe try to be a little more creative though. I really like the watermelon-eating months part...I think you could maybe play that up a bit more so this doesn't sound like a typical teenage summer essay.

However, those feelings would disappear when I spent the watermelon-eating months in New Orleans with my favorite cousin, Mike.---- I shortened this sentence a little. Less words = more power.


Excellent advice from Maggie. Do you understand? Have questions? ...gave me unforgettable memories with priceless moments and taught me how life changes without any notice.