Agricultural economics and rural development - Graduate Program - GKS - Personal Statment

to develop myself to be a lecturer and researcher

here my essay, I need your help to review my personal statement.
this essay should include the following contents.
- family and education background
- motivation
- significant experiences
- community service or work experiences
- and awards

Growing up in a middle-classed family led me to feel hesitant toward the future of my study whether I choose to work after completing high school or attend to Universities. Although having such an issue, my wonderful parents have always been supportive and encouraged me to pursue higher education, and yet they always hope and will do whatever they can for their children to have better education which motivates me to keep pursuing a higher degree.

I obtained my bachelor's degree in Agricultural Economics/Agribusiness at The University of ---- within 3.8 years. Throughout my study in undergraduate year, I have consistently maintained my GPA above a very satisfactory mark, and I have received some awards that endow me with a strong sense of pride and achievement. These include obtaining a scholarship from the Indonesian Gas Distribution Company, representing my Department in the National research competition, being selected as a Student Ambassador, and as The Second Best Graduate of Agricultural Faculty in 2014. Since I was a student, I have been involved directly in several agricultural extensions and participating in a farmer association, leading me to research the role of farmers' organizations on the improvement of welfare and income of smallholder rice farmers. My research findings showed that the members of farmer organizations have a better performance of income and welfare compared to non-members.

My future goal is to develop myself to be a lecturer and researcher in the field of agricultural economics and rural development with specialization in the evaluation of environmental policies and poverty. By having solid experiences as a teaching assistant and a research member, I have developed a heartfelt love for this profession. Besides teaching at universities in Indonesia, I would like to contribute actively in addressing the issues faced by smallholder farmers by conducting researches, extensions, or publishing journals. However, there is still a gap in both my knowledge and an academic requirement that I need to fulfill to be qualified as a lecturer. Advanced theories and information in Korea will facilitate me immensely in the achievement of remarkable progress, fulling my desire to become a lecturer in the field of Agricultural Economics.

"Sometimes even a small thing can be a big meaning for others". The moment that influenced me significantly happened in the year 2013. Although it was a mandatory program from my college, I happily volunteered as a leader of a team for a social project at a small village in ------ where the goal of this program is to develop social awareness among students. After a long observation, we decided to build 50 street lights with the goal of building safer environments as Maslow's Theories said that the feeling of safety is one of the basic needs of humans. Even though it might not be a real problem here, we hope that having sufficient street lighting enabled to deter any crimes and provide a sense of security in the middle of the night. Having this experience help significantly boosting my self-confidence and developing my communication and leadership skills. On top of that, It also triggered me to actively participate in social activities to this day.

Regarding my community service activities, I have solid experience working as a social worker at ------ and participating actively at -------. Both NGOs engage in the support and development of children who live in prostitution areas. Our main focuses are to organize fun activities, teach foreign languages, and arrange craft classes which more likely led to building children's self-esteem. In ----, I was in charge as a leader for short-term bilateral projects and a middle-term of an international project which enabled me to build an international network, learn new languages as well as cultures, and boost my confidence, which all of those contribute to developing my self swiftly to reach my future goal in the master's program.

The essay is a relaxing read that covers all of the elements required in the discussion. However, I feel like the portion regarding the college volunteer activity can do with a little bit more discussion. Perhaps include a reference as to how this experience has helped further fuel your desire to improve agricultural economics and rural development in your country? Relate your community service activity to the growth of that mindset as well. Those activities seem to have a direct relationship with your chosen masters course, but was left either ignored or under developed. It will not hurt your application to increase the discussion focus in relevant areas. I believe that these 2 presentations can help better highlight your application to the reviewer.

Additionally, a discussion on the relevance of your exposure as a student ambassador to the agricultural economics and rural development area could also help. I am assuming that this is a position you held as an undergraduate so it should be easy to connect it to the other discussion points and offer a relevant reason for presenting that information as a highlight.