Hello all. I'm applying to AA program this year and would like some feedback from my statement! This is my first draft. Please feel free to give advice/comment/corrections. Thank you in advance!
Anesthesiologist Assistant - an essential member of the operating room
When I was 7 years old, I witnessed my cousin suffer and pass away from leukemia. He went through several rounds of chemotherapy and was in severe pain. He was only 2 years older than I was, and it was a heartbreaking experience for my family. After being surrounded by several members of the healthcare team at the hospital where my cousin stayed, I realized at a young age that I wanted to become someone who can help people with disease and pain. Ever since, I had always been passionate and enthralled by medicine. A few years later, I became interested in studying abroad in America for more opportunities and better education. My traditional South Korean parents were both troubled and astounded that their teenage daughter wanted to move to another country by herself. Nonetheless, I wanted to experience a new culture and independence.
As much as I had anticipated the change, the first year at the college preparatory boarding school was actually a disaster. I had a difficult time adjusting to all the changes around me. My insufficient knowledge in the english language resulted in failing every subject in 8th grade. Although I had always been a hardworking student, I felt incapable, inferior, and homesick. I remained focused by staying active both in and outside of the classroom. I joined several clubs and sports teams, and managed to stay on top of my academics. By the time I graduated, I was the salutatorian of my class, president of the peer tutor club, and had completed four dual enrollment college level courses. Over time I was able to overcome feeling inferior, and learned lessons in flexibility, resilience, and independence. There was no one moment where everything changed; rather, there was gradual acceptance and a continuous learning process.
Upon starting my undergraduate education, I decided to study biology in pursuit of my childhood dream to become a member of a healthcare profession. I originally decided on a Doctor of Pharmacy program and was accepted to my first choice of pharmacy school. Due to financial and personal problems at the time, I decided to gain work experience in the healthcare field instead of continuing higher education. However, my passion and dedication to help people remained the same. I gained perspective in my time off, which allowed for more in depth research and exploration of different areas of healthcare. I shadowed physicians, pharmacists, medical assistants, and nurses, all in an effort to discover which career path I ultimately wanted to pursue.
One year ago, I learned about the career of anesthesiologist assistant. I began researching more about the occupation and soon applied to volunteer at the Northside Hospital at the anesthesia department. The certified Anesthesiologist assistant (CAA) I was shadowing was dedicated to the patient every step of the way: before, during, and after the surgery. His foremost concern was the patient as a whole, not simply the surgery. From greeting the patient, informing them of the current situation, to confirming important vital information, he always gave his best effort to relieve the patient and his family. From fast pace emergency c-sections to intricate maxillofacial surgeries that lasted over 8 hours, I enjoyed being on my feet learning something new every time I shadowed. I was amazed by how big a role an anesthesiologist assistant played. I was happy to learn that such an occupation existed to help put patients at ease throughout the surgical process. As I have been working in a strictly controlled pharmaceutical laboratory, I had a great appreciation of the meticulous procedures and aseptic techniques that were strictly practiced in the pharmaceutical industry as they were practiced in operating rooms. As a team player, I liked that the anesthesiologist, CAAs, CRNAs, nurses, and surgeons all worked together with a common goal, which was ultimately patient health, comfort and minimizing side effects from the surgery and anesthesia.
As an anesthesiologist assistant, I know that I would function as an essential member of the operating room and the healthcare profession as a whole. By completing many hours of shadowing, researching the profession, and questioning other CAAs, I have full confidence that I have found the career path I dreamt of since I was 7 years old. I want to be the most effective, kind, and helpful anesthesiologist assistant by learning the knowledge and arts of drug interactions, pain management, and medicine. I hope this first step of reaching my dream career will begin in pursuing master of science degree in anesthesiology.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,662 4753
Kim, has anyone ever told you that admissions officers do not really believe that a child at the age of 7 can have decided upon a permanent career path that will follow him to adulthood? Well, that is true, they think that when an applicant uses an age lower than 13, which is high school age, the student is trying to simply make an impression on the reviewer. Since you are not declaring yourself a child prodigy in this instance, it would be best to omit the age reference in the essay. Just say that you were impressed by the medical care your cousin received and you decided that you would want to follow in the footsteps of those who took care of him while he was sick. Do not make any reference to any particular field of patient care so that you can create the impression that being an AA is the career you eventually settled on due to your shadowing of this person.
Remove the references to your failure in school. Retain the reference that you tried to enroll in the Pharmacy program before but failed. That will show that you have a continuously evolving interest in the medical field. Remember, the personal statement has to show that you have a continuing interest in the field of study that you have chosen. So you have to indicate how you evolved in your interest from Pharmacy to AA. Create the connection in order to explain the development of your interest in a clearer manner. Right now, the change is too abrupt and doesn't make sense. Additionally, it would be best if you can indicate what related activities you were involved in previously that led you to the choice of AA as a career.