Euthanasia and pain
It was 6 p.m. on a Saturday. My team and I were prepared for the night to tackle any complications presented to us that would offset the schedule. The wedding venue was empowered by the feelings of joy as the bride and groom appeared through the double doors. "Sir, would you like a glass of water?" I asked a gentleman sitting at a table with his wife. "Please, thank you," he said. As I poured the water into his glass and turned to another guest with the same question, the entire ballroom suddenly became still and quiet. I looked around and noticed everyone was on their feet, jaws wide open with hands over their mouth, and all looked in the direction behind me. I turned around and suddenly, adrenaline rushed throughout my body. "Call 911, now!" I shouted to his wife as I ran toward his side. "Sir, can you hear me?" His eyes frantically wondered upon the ceiling awaiting life or death. When his eyes met mine, his eyelids closed, and his breathing faded away. "Sir, I need you to stay with me!" I yelled. I never thought I would be performing CPR so soon with an actual human-being a few months after being certified. A man claimed he was a doctor emerged from the crowd and assisted me with CPR. He had asked the crowd if anyone had aspirin on hand and a woman gave him a 325 mg bottle of aspirin. This was the first moment I experienced medicine in action during emergency situations. The physician then crushed the pill and placed the crumbles into his mouth. As we took turns while waiting for paramedics to arrive, there was a hint of life as he struggled to open his eyes. We were able to get him back.
The moment when paramedics rushed in and took him away in a gurney, I had learned that there is always hope for a second chance. Being able to intervene in a life and death emergency, rid of pain and agony, and to give life a second chance for someone, was something unique I wanted to grasp. This crucial incident confirmed my decision to pursue medicine as a lifelong career.
After this incident, I was intrigued by the fundamental mechanisms in biological systems and its complexity in the human body. From general biology to applied medical physiology, I realized that I was also curious into how pain would affect the human body on the molecular level during acute and chronic inflammation. I joined a biomedical research lab focusing on inflammation and cancer-induced mice. I was then introduced to anesthesia. I handled nano-drug delivery models and was amazed to see the efficiency of anesthesia in order to perform such a study. These research projects helped me appreciate various scientific discoveries to the development of medicine and the play of anesthesia. "How was the development of medicine implemented during critical emergencies to save a life?" I had asked myself. To answer this question and to experience emergency medicine, I began working as a medical scribe at the Emergency Department of Emory University Hospital. Throughout my work, I have witnessed the play of medicine and the constructive rational of different physicians toward the care of patients who had experienced minor injuries, car accidents, stroke, cardiac arrest, and even death.
I then reflected on my past experiences and realized one unanswered question, "How to eliminate pain if medicine fails to treat the more complicated individuals?" The power of medicine cannot always be victorious, but that is the natural order of life. I have always thought medicine was a brutal practice: the outcomes when a life could not be saved, when pain that never dissipates, or a health condition that never improves.
Comments: Currently working to make it better but I just want to know if this is a right approach for AA school. Since I have experience in the ER, I feel like my paper is giving an impression for ED related field which is not my goal. Also, I am planning to add in my paper that I pursued AA as my career after a patient was intubated several times by an ER attending but an Anesthesia resident (or AA) came down with a C-Mac and succeeded on first try. To me, surgery and/or emergent intervention is impossible without anesthesia. Thank you guys in advance!@tbui27
Hello, dear! I'm here to provide you with writing feedback on this essay. Hopefully, it can help you in the long-run to write with more clarity.
Firstly, while I think that the cinematic portrayal of the text in the first paragraph was quite impressive, I suggest trying to compress these story details into a smaller chunk of text. While it is great that you have these, I also find that it has made a deal of your text to be blown out of proportion. Notice how your second paragraph had so much potential. You could have reinvented this part of the text to ensure that you deliver that message that the story was a critical moment for your career choices in the succeeding years/months. What I suggest is reinserting this as the first part of the text rather than in other portions.
Furthermore, the last paragraph also appears to be quite messy because it fails to further your argumentation in the initial portions. I recommend that you shift around and play with the pattern a bit more.
As for your inquiries on the last part, I find that this can be a write approach for this particular type of school. As long as you were able to link your personal thoughts to the event that had happened (and then, later on, to your career-driven desires), it would work out perfectly in the end.
