Hi,
Please help me rectify mistake in my essay that will limit the chances of getting to the MIT programme. Any comments would be appreciated.
Dear MIT admission committee,
I am really interested in furthering my tertiary education by enrolling for an Master of Information Technology degree seventeen years after acquiring a Bsc degree majoring in Computer Science, Statistics and Mathematics.
I completed matric in 1991 and that is where I first learn there is a profession or field of study called Computer Science. At the time I had no idea what it was all about but had an interest. Through research in libraries and careers centre I got more information about the field, the requirements as well as institutions that offers the course.
Having passed grade 12 with excellent results I was accepted by most of the top universities in South Africa to enrol for a Bsc degree with computer science as one of my majors. Unfortunately I did not have funding for my studies and spent the whole year in 1992 doing piece jobs in order to get funds for my studies, washing cars for staff of the company called Proctor and Gamble for as little as ten rands a car. I used the savings made for accommodation at university.
I never lost an appetite of applying for financial assistance in a number of companies even though I had whole lot of regret letters in my drawers. Eventually one of the companies agreed to help with tuition fees and books. I enrolled with Vista University (Now university of Johannesburg) for the Bsc degree.
It was the first time the university was offering computer science since its establishment. I had never touched a computer in my life until the first day in the computer lab. After completing my first program in Pascal's language I was fascinated by what computers really can do. My interests on how computers work grew even more. I bought computer books to help me have more understanding and knowledge.
Being the best first year Bsc student that year, I got merit awards for three of course as result the the tuition for second years was reduced by fifty percent.
During second year I was seconded to be a computer science laboratory assistant for the first year class because of my excellent performance in my first year. Only three of us made it to second year Computer Science class out of twenty five students.
I was exposed to various programming languages, databases, networking and object orientation concept to name a few. As a top first year Bsc student I was granted a bursary by a company called Toyota S.A. Marketing on the basis that I do internship during holidays and worked for them on completion of my degree. I was introduced to Natural Adabas mainframe language working on fleet and marketing systems for Toyota.
In third year I completed a rail track project where we had to design two round rail tracks that meet at the centre, two trains that are moving in the opposite direction and should not collide where the rail tracks meet. The project was developed in C++. This was my first real life object orientation project.
In 1995 I completed my Bsc degree with a Cum Laude.
Having worked with IT industry for seventeen years I have been exposed to many computer applications in marketing, finance, human resources, manufacturing, consulting and more. Throughout my professional career, I have held highly responsible positions from software development to systems maintenance and support, including production management. I have been involved in a number of project implementations and challenges associated. Since I joined standard bank nine years ago I have acquired lots of skills in Web Development and SAP applications. Being multi skilled was always my interest as a result I do both technical work and functional work. Apart from being a senior IT technical specialist I have extensive knowledge of SAP Portals, SAP Customer Relationship management, SAP banking services, SAP exchange infrastructure and ABAP programming.
Most managers in the IT field currently do not have strong IT background and this is a challenge for most companies. Less informed decisions are made
Because of these challenges I have been exposed to the interest in furthering my studies within the IT field has grown more.
After going through the information of what the MIT program at university of Pretoria can offer, I firmly believe that UP is the place that can provide me with an opportunity to widen the horizons of my knowledge. By attending the program I will be empowered with knowledge and skills to manage and lead information technology-related activities in any organisation in strategic, operational and project environments as the degree provides a broad IT perspective as well as good research and reporting skills, as stated in the UP MIT website. This is exactly what I need in my career.
My knowledge in research, strategy and reporting is very minimal and if afforded a very senior position my performance will not be up to standard. The exposure to MIT will help me in my capacity as Senior Technical lead when delivering new applications and contribute by giving good advice to decision makers to make informed strategic decisions.
In the future I intend to become a successful IT specialist, mastering the subject, and MIT will play an important role in my future career interests of ploughing back to the community by establishing a technology training programme in rural areas' primary schools as most learners, including myself, only get exposed to computers at a late stage in their education.
South African Schools currently have poor results in mathematics and a huge shortage of IT skills. Introducing IT as early as primary schools in rural areas will create a cyber phobia free environment and shorten the skills gap. I would like to play an important role in combating the current situation in South Africa in as far as IT skills are concerned. The next level in my current company is a very senior position and feels that I am not fully equipped to take challenges and responsibilities that come with it.
Having reviewed various IT post graduate programmes available, I have found that MIT at your university is ideal for my purpose and relevant to my interest. Your course offers the right blend of technology and management along with an excellent study environment. I expect the program to provide me with the strong skills, which will largely benefit me to stand an advantage position in future career path.
With my educational background and an extensive experience in the IT field I strongly feel that the programme is the right one for me and glad that the MIT programme is well aligned with my academic desires and my aspirations.
In conclusion, getting exposed to the topics the programme covers will certainly add value to my career and in turn able to perform to any organisation's expectations. I am prepared to take the challenge and responsibility that comes with the program.
I would be most grateful if I am selected as one of the MIT student to pursue my post graduate studies at your university.
Yours sincerely
Please help me rectify mistake in my essay that will limit the chances of getting to the MIT programme. Any comments would be appreciated.
Dear MIT admission committee,
I am really interested in furthering my tertiary education by enrolling for an Master of Information Technology degree seventeen years after acquiring a Bsc degree majoring in Computer Science, Statistics and Mathematics.
I completed matric in 1991 and that is where I first learn there is a profession or field of study called Computer Science. At the time I had no idea what it was all about but had an interest. Through research in libraries and careers centre I got more information about the field, the requirements as well as institutions that offers the course.
Having passed grade 12 with excellent results I was accepted by most of the top universities in South Africa to enrol for a Bsc degree with computer science as one of my majors. Unfortunately I did not have funding for my studies and spent the whole year in 1992 doing piece jobs in order to get funds for my studies, washing cars for staff of the company called Proctor and Gamble for as little as ten rands a car. I used the savings made for accommodation at university.
I never lost an appetite of applying for financial assistance in a number of companies even though I had whole lot of regret letters in my drawers. Eventually one of the companies agreed to help with tuition fees and books. I enrolled with Vista University (Now university of Johannesburg) for the Bsc degree.
It was the first time the university was offering computer science since its establishment. I had never touched a computer in my life until the first day in the computer lab. After completing my first program in Pascal's language I was fascinated by what computers really can do. My interests on how computers work grew even more. I bought computer books to help me have more understanding and knowledge.
Being the best first year Bsc student that year, I got merit awards for three of course as result the the tuition for second years was reduced by fifty percent.
During second year I was seconded to be a computer science laboratory assistant for the first year class because of my excellent performance in my first year. Only three of us made it to second year Computer Science class out of twenty five students.
I was exposed to various programming languages, databases, networking and object orientation concept to name a few. As a top first year Bsc student I was granted a bursary by a company called Toyota S.A. Marketing on the basis that I do internship during holidays and worked for them on completion of my degree. I was introduced to Natural Adabas mainframe language working on fleet and marketing systems for Toyota.
In third year I completed a rail track project where we had to design two round rail tracks that meet at the centre, two trains that are moving in the opposite direction and should not collide where the rail tracks meet. The project was developed in C++. This was my first real life object orientation project.
In 1995 I completed my Bsc degree with a Cum Laude.
Having worked with IT industry for seventeen years I have been exposed to many computer applications in marketing, finance, human resources, manufacturing, consulting and more. Throughout my professional career, I have held highly responsible positions from software development to systems maintenance and support, including production management. I have been involved in a number of project implementations and challenges associated. Since I joined standard bank nine years ago I have acquired lots of skills in Web Development and SAP applications. Being multi skilled was always my interest as a result I do both technical work and functional work. Apart from being a senior IT technical specialist I have extensive knowledge of SAP Portals, SAP Customer Relationship management, SAP banking services, SAP exchange infrastructure and ABAP programming.
Most managers in the IT field currently do not have strong IT background and this is a challenge for most companies. Less informed decisions are made
Because of these challenges I have been exposed to the interest in furthering my studies within the IT field has grown more.
After going through the information of what the MIT program at university of Pretoria can offer, I firmly believe that UP is the place that can provide me with an opportunity to widen the horizons of my knowledge. By attending the program I will be empowered with knowledge and skills to manage and lead information technology-related activities in any organisation in strategic, operational and project environments as the degree provides a broad IT perspective as well as good research and reporting skills, as stated in the UP MIT website. This is exactly what I need in my career.
My knowledge in research, strategy and reporting is very minimal and if afforded a very senior position my performance will not be up to standard. The exposure to MIT will help me in my capacity as Senior Technical lead when delivering new applications and contribute by giving good advice to decision makers to make informed strategic decisions.
In the future I intend to become a successful IT specialist, mastering the subject, and MIT will play an important role in my future career interests of ploughing back to the community by establishing a technology training programme in rural areas' primary schools as most learners, including myself, only get exposed to computers at a late stage in their education.
South African Schools currently have poor results in mathematics and a huge shortage of IT skills. Introducing IT as early as primary schools in rural areas will create a cyber phobia free environment and shorten the skills gap. I would like to play an important role in combating the current situation in South Africa in as far as IT skills are concerned. The next level in my current company is a very senior position and feels that I am not fully equipped to take challenges and responsibilities that come with it.
Having reviewed various IT post graduate programmes available, I have found that MIT at your university is ideal for my purpose and relevant to my interest. Your course offers the right blend of technology and management along with an excellent study environment. I expect the program to provide me with the strong skills, which will largely benefit me to stand an advantage position in future career path.
With my educational background and an extensive experience in the IT field I strongly feel that the programme is the right one for me and glad that the MIT programme is well aligned with my academic desires and my aspirations.
In conclusion, getting exposed to the topics the programme covers will certainly add value to my career and in turn able to perform to any organisation's expectations. I am prepared to take the challenge and responsibility that comes with the program.
I would be most grateful if I am selected as one of the MIT student to pursue my post graduate studies at your university.
Yours sincerely
