Essay2: Where do you see yourself three years after you graduate from ISB (300 words)
My association with BOSCH for last four years has been very decisive in enhancing my technical as well as interpersonal skills. Having worked in a Technical Function area as a Tool Design engineer wherein it requires a high degree of communication right from a shop floor associate to a Plant Head, Group Leaders and Range Heads, prompt solutions to critical problems and daily management of product release, has honed and enriched my inherent skills. In addition to this, I have worked on RPP (cost saving projects), VSDIA (Value Stream Mapping and Design), OEE improvement, POKA-Yoke, QCO (Quick Change Over) methodologies of Lean Production Systems.
I now wish to pursue a career in the field of Operations Management enabling me to make better decisions and solutions in the quest of solving complex practical problems. To realize my aspirations, I will need core skills in operations management that I do not possess today which will help me to gain insights into the operations management domain. Post an MBA from ISB, I wish to work as a Management Consultant in the field of Supply Chain Management for a Global management consulting firm in order to get better insights about the emerging economies in India.
An MBA program from ISB will help me to achieve my aim by providing me with the required foundation. ISB has one of the best developed and most innovative Global management curriculums, stressing on learning from the real world through such programmes as the Experiential Learning Programme, INDS, LDP, Students Exchange programme and Learning & development sessions. This philosophy coupled with its outstanding faculty and curriculum will be invaluable in preparing me for my planned aim. I fully expect the ISB experience to be one of the most enriching professional and social years of my life till date
(Please RATE this essay )
Having worked in a Technical Function area as a Tool Design engineer wherein itwhich requires a high degree of communication right from a shop floor associate to a Plant Head, Group Leaders and Range Heads, prompt solutions to critical problems and daily management of product release, has honed and enriched my inherent skills.---This sentence is just long enough to be confusing!
I now wish to pursue a career in the field of Operations Management, enabling me to make better decisions and come up with better solutions in the quest of solving complex practical problems.
To realize my aspirations, I will need core skills in operations management that I do not possess today, which will help me to gain insights into the operations management domain.
The MBA program from ISB will help me to achieve my goals by providing me with the required foundation.
This philosophy coupled with its outstanding faculty and curriculum will be invaluable in preparing me for my planned goals .
They'll be lucky to have you as a student!
Good luck in school, and have fun!
:)
Thanks a lot for your valuble feedback.Below is another essay for the same college. Ot will really helpful if i can get it evaluated.
Essay 3: Please provide additional information that will significantly affect the consideration of your application to ISB (300 words max).
Knowledge enhancement of peers has always been my passion. I have always taken efforts to guide my juniors, new joiners and other colleagues.
At the time of joining BOSCH Technical Functions department, I saw a surfeit knowledge group of colleagues and stakeholders. With strength of 20 individuals generating techno-commercial data daily and with the involvement in brainstorming sessions combined with shop floor GEMBA visits and monthly information sharing meetings, there were some great opportunities for me to demonstrate my skills. I envisaged an online Data Management system along with the IT team which was not only going to enhance our internal customers' overview but would have made data management paperless. Free from any professional obligation, and with a unique idea to develop the system, I along with the IT group, department heads and internal customers modeled the system with comprehensive plan and implementation deadlines. Bearing in mind the complete concept of this system and its advantages after implementation I pioneered my core teams working and knowledge base. At the beginning, I had particular challenges in managing the team effectively and to get the overview and suggestions from customers. Keeping up with the often-changing demands the project was handled meticulously. The proactive approach by every team member and constant encouragement from the Group leaders the online system was ready for its implementation.
Despite the pressures, the experience was precious. It allowed me to learn sound project management techniques, and it demonstrated the crucial value of teamwork and delegation to cope with high customer expectations. Through experience I learned how to coordinate, communicate and delegate a project along with a group from different technical background. It was tough, but we delivered and helped more than 30 internal customers in getting access to technical data whenever required. The startup is now running successfully.
My suggestions.
...there were some great opportunities for me to demonstrate my skills--mentioning your 'special skill-set' would look impressive [eg. as a consensus builder, creative, resolution specialist etc]
...I had particular challenges in managing the team effectively--- would it look nice to say 'what challenge you faced in managing team effectively -- issue in coordination, missing herd-commitment, fear-of-failure, dedicated time (I understand from your essay that this project was ABCD (Above & Beyond the Call of Duty)'..
....It allowed me to learn sound project management techniques --- I learned xxxxxxxx, xxxxxxx, xxxxxx skills which is critical in project management.
It was tough, but (...still <admist adversity, you guys delivered!>) we delivered and helped more than 30 internal customers in getting access to technical data whenever required (...am not sure... I think, you can fine tune...'whenever required' to 'at ease' or 'at their comfortability', 'round the clock'...Oops am out of stock) The startup is now running successfully. (good...and this initiative got branded inside the company.. <something like that...!)
Cheers... Wish you good luck
Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestions Mr.Viswanath S.A last essay is remaining to be analyzed. It will really helpful if anyone can give a critic review for the following essay...here it goes
Essay 1: Please detail, your two most significant achievements. These could be either professional but relevant to your application to the ISB (300 words max)
"Believe you can and you're halfway there"- This inspirational quote has always instilled a confidence to face the challenges in my life.
10 years back, my father was transferred to a small place called Gadarwara near Bhopal. Having spent my 15 years of education in a sophisticated school, it was difficult to adjust initially in a new environment. I joined the only English medium school when the syllabus was half way done. A power cut for more than 18 hours was an additional hurdle for me. In spite of these obstacles, I was able to carry forward my education. I adjusted in to this changed environment, covered up the syllabus which was tougher than my previous state board and finally cleared the 11th standard examination with 80% marks with a mere preparation of 10 days. It developed a sense of accomplishment, adaptability to the changes that life poses in ones life and instilled tolerance, patience and adjusting behavioral qualities in me. Apart from this I learned how to manage situations that are both hospitable and hostile.
Another experience is from my professional life. At the time of Confirmation at BOSCH, came the moment to present the tasks and targets that I completed during my one year trainee period. I along with a group of 60 candidates was supposed to participate. Since 2008 was the start period of Recession only 20 candidates were supposed to be shortlisted. After a week long process the results were out and to my surprise I was the highest scorer among the group. I got applause from every Range Head and it was a significant moment of my career. I learnt two important things out of this, firstly one should never forget their strengths and secondly one should always have confidence to carry forward their thoughts.
a confidence to --> in me a confidence
In my opinion you have to "show' rather than "tell" in the achievement essay. You have listed down qualities that you want adcom to see in your application but the incident narration is not propelling enough..
Moreover, you have used passive voice extensively in the essay.. you might want to rephrase..
Best of luck