Hi, just interested in some advice or comments about my essay. It's 4995 characters and I am allowed 5000. Thanks in advance for your time and consideration!
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"Okay, take your foot off the gas, keep the wheel straight, and be ready for this Expedition to hit you from the side." My 1984 Corvette had a low center of gravity, making it a perfect car for intentionally pulling doughnuts - or unintentionally spinning out in the pouring rain. Its fiberglass body was lighter and faster than most cars' but would be no advantage in a wreck - I could be crushed - and the last car I'd seen coming was a Ford Expedition. All this spun in my head as I braced for a collision.
I've always been calm in extreme circumstances. I'd say it's a trait I picked up from my father, as my mother would have been screaming in the passenger's seat, white-knuckle gripping the ceiling handle. It's not a conscious decision I make to be calm - when an emergency happens, I go straight into repair mode: "This is happening. What do I do to fix it?" When a glass spills, I'm the first at the table with napkins. When I was nine and my infant sister fell off the couch, then passed out in my mother's arms, I was giving our address to the 911 dispatcher. My ability to assess and react has always been one of my most reliable assets, but it wasn't until the end of high school that I realized it could help me choose a career.
It was actually an English class that inspired me to consider the health field. We read about a surgeon who repaired cleft palates in a third world country. His selflessness and the permanent effect he had on his patients' lives captivated me. His journal entries revealed how his work affected him as well. The precision and methodology behind the surgeries appealed to me, and an interest in medicine meandered into my thoughts. As I grew more aware of my natural characteristics - quick reaction times, calmness under pressure, urge to improve the lives of others, desire to know how things work - I became more interested in the health field. Becoming more aware of who I was made me more aware of what I wanted to become.
I was well on my way to applying to medical school before I realized in a sort of epiphanic revelation that being a doctor would actually not be enough for me. In hindsight, I think for many high school seniors and college underclassmen, becoming a doctor just seems like the most prominent choice if you know you want a career in health. I'd taken all the pre-med courses and been surrounded by medical school hopefuls for 4 years before, in all of 4 days, I changed my entire life plan. I'll be forever thankful to my friend who, after I'd related my concerns of a doctor's life, suggested I "thoroughly check out" the PA profession. The flexibility of the profession - being able to explore different fields without going through multiple residencies - is definitely attractive to me. I am boundlessly curious about various aspects of the body, and so the ability to transfer between disciplines relatively easily appeals to that curiosity and to my drive to possess an understanding of several fields of knowledge over the course of my career. Shadowing PAs has shown me that I would have more face time with my patients, which I firmly believe is a crucial factor in providing good healthcare; in my opinion, having your care provider readily visible and able to diffuse fear and uncertainty about your situation can be medicinal in itself. When one PA I was shadowing said that he was a PA in the Army Reserves, that cinched it; I grew up a Marine's daughter and am married to a Sailor! I love military families and hope to provide my services as a PA in return for their service to our country.
One Christmas, I was staying at my aunt's house. I was dozing off on the couch when I heard, "I think something's wrong." I sat up to sounds of odd groans and ran over to where my 30-something mother-of-two aunt had fallen to the hardwood floor, seizing. A second ago, she had been walking over to lock the door. I recalled from my First Responder training that when a person seizes, it is most important to protect their head, so I cradled her in my arms while reaching for two cell phones and dialing 911. Handing one to my screaming, delirious mother and the other to my only slightly less frantic uncle, I looked them in the eyes and ordered each one to leave the room and speak to the emergency personnel. I got someone to bring orange juice in case it was a diabetic seizure. As my aunt slowly roused, I rocked her and explained what had happened until the ambulance arrived.
Mom later told me that without me there, she doesn't know what would've happened. I only know that I couldn't think of this person seizing as my aunt - my thought process was, "This body is in trouble, what does this body need?" Looking back, her seizure was one of the most unsettling, scary things I've ever witnessed. Only my ability to separate my feelings and do what was necessary made me worth anything that night. It's that same ability that will, with the right training, help me save a life one day.
This is an interesting essay! It's great that you react quickly in a crisis.
I would add "already" here:
was already giving our address to the 911 dispatcher.
You should make more time at the end to talk about how this bad experience with your aunt had a good effect because of the way it showed you your path in life as a professional. Say something humble at the end to express gratitude, and that way the essay won't seem like you are bragging at all.
Most important: fix the opening paragraph so that it is understandable. I don't understand who was telling you to keep the wheel straight, be ready for the Expedition to hit, etc. I guess you are talking about what you mentally told yourself. Just indicate something like this:
"Okay, take your foot off the gas, keep the wheel straight, and be ready for this Expedition to hit you from the side," I told myself as my 1984 Corvette spun out of control. had a low center of gravity, making it a perfect car for intentionally pulling doughnuts - or unintentionally spinning out in the pouring rain.
Let's not talk about doing doughnuts; it might reflect negatively on you in the AO reader's mind.
