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The Challenge: Why do you want to be a Physician Assistant?



mscott1029 1 / 1  
Sep 4, 2014   #1
Here is what I have so far for my personal statement; I welcome ANY critique and changes that you believe should be made in order to improve my personal statement. I have a feeling the organization is a little out of wack. The two paragraphs in bold at the bottom definitely need help. I need a good closer and I believe I should maybe include a few more qualities I find appealing in the profession of PA. THank you in advanced for taking the time to help!

Challenge! My reason to seek a career as a Physician Assistant.

PLEASE OFFER ANY SUGGESTIONS/CHANGES YOU BELIEVE WILL HELP TO IMPROVE AND STRENGTHEN MY PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR BECOMING A PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT! THANK YOU!

My choice to seek a career into the healthcare field arose from a series of unfortunate events. The loss of my maternal grandparents over a period of just six months placed a new challenge in front of me. I had the unexpected role as caregiver during their final days. My grams, a nurse her entire career, had tried multiple times to convince me to go into health care the same way she convinced my mother who decided to be educated as a pharmacist. Little did I know, my grams last action would trigger my hidden nurturing characteristic. She had finally convinced me. I like to think that my Grams 'passed the baton' to me, as she was a nurse her entire career and cared for so many others, it was now my turn. Challenge accepted.

This experience led me to enroll in night classes so that I could become a certified nursing assistant while continuing my college education during the day. While taking my first step into the medical field, one thing was apparent; I was challenged. As a nursing assistant in a memory care unit, I was challenged with patients suffering from neurological disorders and diseases. While working as a nursing assistant at a physical rehabilitation facility, I was challenged by patients with various impaired motor functions. Currently, I work as an oncology tech at Moffitt Cancer Center and I am challenged daily by patients recovering from gastrointestinal, genitourinary, or otorhinolaryngology oncological surgery. But there was a limit to my skills and training as a nursing assistant. One day, that became very apparent to me.

"Code blue. MCC. 4-South. Room 437." was repeated over the hospital loud speakers. My partner tech on the floor had walked in this patient's room to find him shaking uncontrollably. Not knowing what to do, my partner exited the room in a panic. I immediately notified the nurse of the situation and checked the patient's vitals. I took in all the sights and sounds and remembered the details leading up to the moment the code was called. I waited with the patient until the team could arrive, while his body shook uncontrollably. As the team members arrived, I had to relay my observations to the physicians, physician's assistants, and nurses that made up the Moffitt Cancer Center code team. It was then that I left the room and realized that I had reached the end of my involvement in the patients' treatment. The feeling that overtook me as I watched from outside the patient's door made me want more. I wanted to be more involved in a patients care. That's when I started looking at positions in healthcare that would challenge me. Challenge accepted.

I valued the patient care time I endured as a nursing assistant and I have continually seen this quality transfer to Physician Assistants. Being a physician would afford me the challenges I am looking for but physicians tend to have limited time for actual patient care due to their heavy workloads. Nursing is becoming more about charting and paper work so hands-on patient care is minimal. The physician assistant profession ultimately seemed the most appealing to me due to the lifelong learning challenges and the time allotted for patient care. The seeming lack of interest in the actual care of the patient beyond nurses charting medications and doctors paying a visit once or twice a day is something that is eliminated in Physician Assistants. Being a physician Assistant combines the best of being a physician and a nurse. I truly believe physician assistants to be the new heart of medical care. I believe a combination of my undergrad education and my experiences as a nursing assistant have prepared me for the road ahead that will lead me to my goal. I know the training is tough and the schooling is difficult but I am prepared. Challenge accepted.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 4, 2014   #2
I have read your statement and I have to commend you for being able to transmit your vocation for physician care. It is a pretty solid essay but it needs some cleaning up. I have provided you with some suggestions on how to do that.

- Your answer does not answer the question directly. You need to speak of the challenge that you are looking forward to overcoming as a PA in the future. Your current answer does not provide any information about challenges.

- This should definitely be your opening statement. It connects directly to your challenge answer :-)

- This paragraph could use an introduction before presenting the story that influenced your decision to look into deeper into another health care career opportunity. Connect it to your experience with the death of your grandparents if you can. This will show that you have a deep vocation or a calling for patient care.

- You could rephrase this statement by explaining how you have seen medicine change over time. The seeming lack of interest in the actual care of the patient beyond charting vitals and doctors paying a visit once or twice a day is something that is eliminated in PA's. That is because the PA has a small practice and combines the best of being a doctor and a nurse. It is the new heart of medical care. Or something to that effect :-)

- I suggest that you totally eliminate this paragraph and close using my suggested statement instead. I believe that it will make your paper much stronger :-)

I hope that you consider my suggestions constructively and it finds its way into your next essay draft :-)
vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 8, 2014   #3
This new version shows a great improvement over the previous version. You have really considered everything that you want to say in the essay and did your best to express yourself well. But I found just a few more portions that you need to either edit or revise in order to further improve the paper. I hope these changes continue to help you :-)

My choice to seek a career into the healthcare field arose ...
The loss of my maternal grandparents over a period of just six months placed a new challenge in front of me. I had the unexpected role as caregiver

- ... I had an unexpected role as ...
As a nursing assistant in a memory care unit, I was challenged with patients suffering from neurological ...
One day, that became very apparent to me.

- ... I was challenged by my patients ...That became very apparent to me one day.
... remembered the details leading up to the moment the code was called. I waited with the patient until the team could arrive , while his body shook uncontrollably.

- my partner left the room in a panic.I waited with the patient until the team arrived.

Being a physician would afford me the challenges

- Being a Physician Assistant ...

afford me the challenges I am looking for but physicians tend to have limited time for actual patient ...

- ... lookingfor because physicians tend to ...

most appealing to me due to the lifelonglearning challenges

- lifelongpatient-care challenges...

I truly believe physician assistantsto b e the new heart of medical care

- ... assistants are the new...
nikhil333 4 / 6  
Sep 9, 2014   #4
My choice to seek a career into the healthcare field arose from a series of unfortunate events.

Try to start your essay with something interesting that will catch the readers attention. Maybe something your grandma said or did to convince you to pursue a career in health care, or something you witnessed in a hospital that sparked an interest for career health care.


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