Hi....
i am new to the forum and was hoping that somebody can help me improve my sop...
I am interested in applying for a masters in robotics or engineering design and innovation...
This is just a first draft but want an opinion of how it is...
I know it is slightly long and it needs to be cut short...
and am also not too happy with my introduction paragraph...
so any tips and suggestions on how to improve my draft will really be appreciated...
here is my sop...
A world filled with robots and machines like those in movies, cartoons, and works of science fiction by Isaac Asimov, Jules Verne and Ken Macleod-- this is what caused me to dream of having my own R2D2 and C3PO. When it comes to robots, reality still lags science fiction, but that will change soon with scientific and technological breakthroughs being made everyday. Inspired by the change, I chose a career in Engineering especially in the field of robotics and innovative design.
I have recently completed my Bachelor of Engineering in Mechatronics from Manipal Institute of Technology (MIT), Manipal, India. I have excelled in academics right from my school days and secured an overall second position in my branch at MIT Manipal.
During the four years in college, I have been involved with a myriad of activities like participating and organizing events in national level technical festivals. My first tryst with engineering design was an event called "Contraption" held at "ENGINEERS - 07", the national level technical fest of NIT - Suratkal. For the competition we designed a model that can traverse 12 feet in water in the shortest possible time and won the first prize among the other 35 teams. This event made me realize the passion I had for design and led me to become a part of the college car design and manufacturing team "Formula Manipal 09", which built a 600cc single-seater racing car to compete in the 2009 Formula Student event held by SAE at Silverstone Motor Racing Circuit, England. I was involved with the design, manufacturing and assembly of the brake components of the car and handled the manufacturing of all the CNC machined components. I also worked on special cost task to give a 15 minute presentation on how to manufacture and assemble a brake caliper. Our team secured an overall 3rd position in the cost analysis task. As a member of the team I learned the importance teamwork and how to achieve a common goal of building a successful car on time. Being present at Silverstone circuit among the best European FSAE teams was phenomenal and made me aware of how much of influence technology has on bringing the manufacturing and design of the car to the same level.
For my college curriculum, I completed a four month industrial project titled "implementation of low cost automation in the manufacturing of industrial transformer" at Raychem RPG (a JV company between Tyco Electronics and RPG group). During the project I conducted market research to identify the different machines being used in assembly of industrial transformers, and concluded that there was no machinery used in the core building process. So I decided to concentrate and put my efforts to developing a conceptual machine that would help in the mass manufacturing of 3 phase single step distribution transformers, by building the core of transformer at a faster rate. By the end of my four months, I had managed to design a semi - automated low cost machinery that ran on a PLC system & a few pneumatic cylinders and was able to build the core precisely and accurately. I am now helping the company with the implementation of my design. This project allowed me to put into practice all the theoretical knowledge; I gained over past three years to real world industrial challenges. All the activities have motivated me further to pursue a career in engineering design of robots, mechanical and mechatronics devices that will help in improving the safety of humans, quality of the product at manufacturing firms, and everyday lives.
My interest in engineering design /robotics has also been piqued by the changing landscape of the industrial and manufacturing sector across the world, and specifically in India. As Indian manufacturers shift their focus from issues of cheap labor to issues of higher quality, efficiency and faster time to output, the role of industrial automation is increasingly relevant and will do so in going forward. An example of this is the advent of international carmakers in the Indian market which has accelerated the emergence of new innovative indigenous designs like the Tata - Nano (the hundred thousand rupee car). My ambition is to actively participate in the design and implementation of industrial automation, modern robots & machinery and doing so contribute to the economic growth of the country. I am currently learning the basics of a few design and analysis tools like CATIA, SOLIDWORKS, and ANSYS which along with the right knowledge in the area of industrial robotics and mechanical design will help me achieve my goal. This is why I wish to pursue my masters in _____________.
The distinguished faculty and excellent facilities at University of ___________ makes its graduate program ideally suited to my professional goals. Your university will give me the opportunity to work under the guidance of renowned professors like _______ especially in topics like _______. My desire to pursue further studies in your university is because it has the most dynamic atmosphere, which will shape me to be a thinker and a learner. The flexibility of the curriculum will give me the broad-based education I need to widen the scope of my knowledge and skills. I am aware that the University of ____ expects very high standards from its students. My track record gives me the confidence that I will be able to meet those expectations. Thank you for your time in reviewing my application and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
i am new to the forum and was hoping that somebody can help me improve my sop...
I am interested in applying for a masters in robotics or engineering design and innovation...
This is just a first draft but want an opinion of how it is...
I know it is slightly long and it needs to be cut short...
and am also not too happy with my introduction paragraph...
so any tips and suggestions on how to improve my draft will really be appreciated...
here is my sop...
A world filled with robots and machines like those in movies, cartoons, and works of science fiction by Isaac Asimov, Jules Verne and Ken Macleod-- this is what caused me to dream of having my own R2D2 and C3PO. When it comes to robots, reality still lags science fiction, but that will change soon with scientific and technological breakthroughs being made everyday. Inspired by the change, I chose a career in Engineering especially in the field of robotics and innovative design.
I have recently completed my Bachelor of Engineering in Mechatronics from Manipal Institute of Technology (MIT), Manipal, India. I have excelled in academics right from my school days and secured an overall second position in my branch at MIT Manipal.
During the four years in college, I have been involved with a myriad of activities like participating and organizing events in national level technical festivals. My first tryst with engineering design was an event called "Contraption" held at "ENGINEERS - 07", the national level technical fest of NIT - Suratkal. For the competition we designed a model that can traverse 12 feet in water in the shortest possible time and won the first prize among the other 35 teams. This event made me realize the passion I had for design and led me to become a part of the college car design and manufacturing team "Formula Manipal 09", which built a 600cc single-seater racing car to compete in the 2009 Formula Student event held by SAE at Silverstone Motor Racing Circuit, England. I was involved with the design, manufacturing and assembly of the brake components of the car and handled the manufacturing of all the CNC machined components. I also worked on special cost task to give a 15 minute presentation on how to manufacture and assemble a brake caliper. Our team secured an overall 3rd position in the cost analysis task. As a member of the team I learned the importance teamwork and how to achieve a common goal of building a successful car on time. Being present at Silverstone circuit among the best European FSAE teams was phenomenal and made me aware of how much of influence technology has on bringing the manufacturing and design of the car to the same level.
For my college curriculum, I completed a four month industrial project titled "implementation of low cost automation in the manufacturing of industrial transformer" at Raychem RPG (a JV company between Tyco Electronics and RPG group). During the project I conducted market research to identify the different machines being used in assembly of industrial transformers, and concluded that there was no machinery used in the core building process. So I decided to concentrate and put my efforts to developing a conceptual machine that would help in the mass manufacturing of 3 phase single step distribution transformers, by building the core of transformer at a faster rate. By the end of my four months, I had managed to design a semi - automated low cost machinery that ran on a PLC system & a few pneumatic cylinders and was able to build the core precisely and accurately. I am now helping the company with the implementation of my design. This project allowed me to put into practice all the theoretical knowledge; I gained over past three years to real world industrial challenges. All the activities have motivated me further to pursue a career in engineering design of robots, mechanical and mechatronics devices that will help in improving the safety of humans, quality of the product at manufacturing firms, and everyday lives.
My interest in engineering design /robotics has also been piqued by the changing landscape of the industrial and manufacturing sector across the world, and specifically in India. As Indian manufacturers shift their focus from issues of cheap labor to issues of higher quality, efficiency and faster time to output, the role of industrial automation is increasingly relevant and will do so in going forward. An example of this is the advent of international carmakers in the Indian market which has accelerated the emergence of new innovative indigenous designs like the Tata - Nano (the hundred thousand rupee car). My ambition is to actively participate in the design and implementation of industrial automation, modern robots & machinery and doing so contribute to the economic growth of the country. I am currently learning the basics of a few design and analysis tools like CATIA, SOLIDWORKS, and ANSYS which along with the right knowledge in the area of industrial robotics and mechanical design will help me achieve my goal. This is why I wish to pursue my masters in _____________.
The distinguished faculty and excellent facilities at University of ___________ makes its graduate program ideally suited to my professional goals. Your university will give me the opportunity to work under the guidance of renowned professors like _______ especially in topics like _______. My desire to pursue further studies in your university is because it has the most dynamic atmosphere, which will shape me to be a thinker and a learner. The flexibility of the curriculum will give me the broad-based education I need to widen the scope of my knowledge and skills. I am aware that the University of ____ expects very high standards from its students. My track record gives me the confidence that I will be able to meet those expectations. Thank you for your time in reviewing my application and I look forward to hearing from you soon.