Congratulations getting started on your SOP; you have taken a big step towards completing your advanced education!
You have a great rough draft; here are my suggestions for your essay:
"The enormous number of challenges thrown out by rapid developments
in science and technology have made me choose engineering as a profession. I would like to
take this opportunity to describe my educational background and career objectives which have
motivated me to pursue a career in petroleum industry. My undergraduate education has provided a thorough exposure to the various specialties available in the e
ngineering field, thus stimulating my
interest my in advanced research.
In my undergraduate years, I've (In academics refrain from using contractions, go ahead and write out the complete words; let's change this to "I have".)
acquired a strong background in the fundamentals of basic mechanical engineering subjects like t
eat and m
ass transfer, s
luid mechanics, m
echanics of m
achines, and d
esign of machine elements.
Furthermore, I also took courses that detail the process involved in creating
products from the downstream sector in the petroleum industry.
Inspiration and enthusiasm well up in me when I am at work; I am an operation technician for the petroleum company Elf Cameroon. Here I have learned how to work under time constraints, how to visualize abstract concepts, and apply concepts to industrial projects in real time.
After almost half a year at my work, I am more molded
(Let's change this to "confident") and mature with respect to my professional life, and
I have decided to pursue my graduate studies in the field of
Recently, there has been major (Let's change this to "a great deal of")
focus on the subject of
world energy conservation and adverse effects of environmental pollution caused
by oil and gas exploration. These trends intrigue me and I want to be part of that (Let's change this to "a")
team that explores
ways to reduce pollution and also devise more economical ways of oil and gas exploration (Let's change this to "of exploring for oil and gas"
. I have been reading books and exploring the internet to find
research topics that deal with energy and environmental conservation. This has broadened my knowledge and equipped me with the tools to pursue a M
in petroleum engineering. After completing my M
aster's degree I would
like to go into the field of extensive research to find ways to minimize environmental pollution.
long term, I am interested in the possibilities of using my understanding of petroleum engineering to positively impact the environment. I envision a career in this field as a culmination of my varied interests
and I would appreciate the opportunity to pursue this at the Colorado School of Mines.
Since graduate study is an important step in my professional life, I don't want to compromise the quality of my education, but when it comes to a
quality education, your university is one of the few places I can think of. I also view your university as an ideal place where I could get the chance to work on real time projects.
I am confident that I have the preparations and potential to prove I will be
an asset to your graduate program as a graduate student and as an assistant with research or teaching duties. Thank you for your consideration;
I look forward to an intellectually inspiring and fruitful association with your university."
Good job! Once you check this draft over and make the necessary corrections, go ahead and post the revised essay; we'll get it polished in no time!