Please review my sop.
All criticism are welcome.
This was the description given about the SOP in the university website. Please let know if i have adhered to it.
A typical statement is between 500-2000 words in length.
- Explain why you chose this field. Answer the question: "What motivated you?" Write about specific experiences that demonstrate your reasons for graduate study.
- Describe what you plan to do after obtaining your master's degree.
- Include any relevant work experience in your academic field.
- Write about other significant activities (i.e., jobs, volunteering, community involvement, leadership at your university, organizations, awards, honors, etc.).
- If you have knowledge of a specific faculty member with whom you would like to work, mention your interest and why.
- Explain (briefly) any discrepancies on your transcripts, such as a lower GPA in a particular semester or year.
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STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
My first tryst with Computers was when my father being an Engineer had the foresight to provide us with a simple desktop, with a Pentium 3 processor and Windows 98 OS. I was intrigued to know how a computer worked and what made it so fast and amazing. At hind sight, it is not comparable to any of the models available today, but it helped me garner knowledge in trying to unravel the marvels of this versatile tool. As I started learning, I discovered there is so much behind this whole process. It was then, when I decided that I would pursue a career in the abundant field of computer science. I aspire to pursue Master of Computer Science degree with specialization in Business, at your university.
After deciding at a very early age about my career I paid ardent attention to mathematics, the base of computers. My grades throughout my high school and college reflect my aptitude. I strongly believe that being endowed with awards at State and National Level Maths and Science Talent tests, had significant impact on me. I further expanded my horizons by participating in the International Cyber Olympiad. To upgrade my knowledge repertoire I went ahead and joined technical institutes to learn about the latest in computer application software. I underwent a certification course in C & C++. My prowess in Computers edged me to mentor my friends on the subject as well as extend help in developing programs for the school assignments. Consequently, in my undying desire to develop something more significant, I developed the coding for a hangman game using C++ and submitted it as project for my board exams.
Therefore, with creditable academic performance throughout my schooling juxtaposed with hard earned hands on knowledge of Computers I chose the discipline of Computer Science and Engineering for my under graduation curriculum. I thus entered the portals of Panimalar Institute of Technology to satiate my desire to develop a robust foundation in Computers.
The next four years were involved in gathering theoretical knowledge about computers with diligence and consistently applying it practically through writing programs in laboratories. My deep interest in computers and my unquenchable thirst to usurp technology saw me excel in academics and I stood second in my under graduate program. Alongside academics I was an active member of the Computer Society of India, an organization which facilitates, research, knowledge sharing, learning and career enhancement for all categories of IT Professionals by conducting conferences and giving various awards. I constantly updated myself kept par with the competitive world.
Besides the undergraduate curriculum, I took on a number of certification courses on Database Management System & Operating Systems at NACE Solutions, Windows XP & 2003 Server at NETMASTERS, Java language from NIIT. To extend my study of Database management and to reinforce my knowledge I also completed an Oracle workforce development program. Subsequently, in order to apply my learning in Java, I did a project wherein I created dynamic web content using Java technology servlets and JSP technology. Thereafter, I constructed a medium scale web application, an e-learning website and deployed it onto the Sun Java System Application Server.
I had to judge myself against global standards; hence I took up the Oracle examination, and became an Oracle certified java programmer. Furthermore, in my desire to gain practical exposure of the real time corporate world, I took up a summer internship in Symbiosis Technologies, an IT company of repute. This helped me to gain an in-depth knowledge of the software development life cycle and various tools used for coding.
I always ventured into the open to learn about the innovative inventions. One such technical venture was to the Ethical Hacking workshop by infySec, a company which provides the complete range of services in information security, consumer privacy and information survivability. It was conducted by a professional ethical hacker and he taught us the basics of hacking and the code of ethics. That workshop helped to understand the various security threats and methods used to nullify them astonished me. We had an open question session, where I won a memory drive by answering the most number of questions right. My next visit was to the Lenovo Company, wherein I learnt how the various the various parts of a computer were manufactured and their assembling. Following that I visited HCL InfoTech and learnt about how a network worked and network simulation software.
Deeply kindled by my zest for computers and its applications I spent the spare time in my home studying about cloud computing and it thoroughly fascinated me. Towards this end, I presented a paper called 'Secure Cloud', wherein I proposed an anonymity algorithm for the cloud computing services. This paper also won me the first place in a National level Symposium in 2011. My enthusiasm to plunge deep into the field of computers gained greater velocity.
In order to improve my knowledge in the field of management, I earned a six sigma green belt from the Ministry of Small and medium enterprises. This course helped me learn how a company sets extremely high objectives, collects data, and analyzes results to a fine degree as a way to reduce defects in its products and services.
Along with my academic activities, I always had a desire to give what I could back to the society. I am a part of an NGO, Chennai Social Service; our motto is "Share your living". We organize blood donation camps every year and also arrange blood donors for patients. I am a regular blood donor. We visit orphanages every weekend and organize fund raisers to support these orphanages. Also I work as a scribe. I participate in reading sessions and help the visually challenged students in learning their subjects. I was a volunteer in the sports event conducted for special kids.
I would also, at this juncture like to pinpoint the fact that I have been widely recognized for my leadership qualities too when I was selected to be the Treasurer of my department. Also as an event coordinator for a national level technical symposium hosted by my department. I consider my analytical aptitude and my ability to grasp information quickly a valuable asset.
In my last semester, I faced a challenge of coming up with a project which would decide the outcome of my final semester grades. I decided to address a problem which was scarcely addressed so far, distribution of video streaming traffic from one source to all nodes in an urban vehicular adhoc network (VANET). It is because its highly dynamic topology, low bandwidth and fleeting connectivity it is difficult to support multimedia applications. I presented a solution through simulation, called Streaming Urban Video (SUV), which is fully distributed and dynamically adapts to topology changes, also leverages the characteristics of streaming applications to yield a highly efficient solution. A project "Effective and cost free video streaming distribution in VANETs" was very much appreciated and fetched me top grades in my class.
After completing my undergraduate studies, I joined Wipro Technologies, a leading global IT company, a company which has pioneered in IT services, BPO and R&D services space; with the intention of applying the knowledge I had gained during. I am currently working as project engineer trainee in the IT services sector. I am undergoing training in the field of Data Warehousing specializing in Teradata.
Although I have gained much knowledge in Computers during my journey, the gamut of knowledge that still remains to be explored is boundless. I strongly believe that a graduate study at Illinois Institute of Technology is the best way that can help me achieve my goal. I wish to gain a more global perspective and expand my horizon to international standards. I also find that my goal is in line with the universities' principles and if selected would utilize the fullest of my resources to serve the ultimate purpose of gaining extensive knowledge and apply it.
Some suggestions:
1. Your introduction could be better. Trust me, the majority of applicants will begin their SOP by stating some sort of childhood fascination with their subject matter. So, not only is this a cliche manner of introducing yourself, it does nothing to indicate that you are serious about graduate work. Your motivation should be more professional at this stage. Typically, childhood experiences are not relevant for graduate school.
2. There is an imbalance to the SOP. So much of it is focused on the past and what you did do. How about the future? What do you plan do after graduate school and why?
3. You have a lot of experiences, activities etc. which is awesome but be careful in how you present that. It can sound like a resume. Reflect on how those experiences have prepared you for graduate work.
4. Do you have a faculty members you are interested in working with? It may be important to mention a couple and how your research interests align. No matter how great an applicant may be, if nobody is willing to supervise them they will not be accepted. Mentioning faculty interests may help your last paragraph as well. It is very vague and does not indicate that you know much about the program e.g.,
I also find that my goal is in line with the universities' principles and if selected would utilize the fullest of my resources to serve the ultimate purpose of gaining extensive knowledge and apply it.
What is your goal? What principles? Be very specific.
