letter to express my enthusiasm
My name is "XXX", and I am writing this letter to express my enthusiasm in pursuing the Bachelor program in Applied Computer Science at "XXX University". I believe by studying in one of the most recognized and qualified university in Netherlands will broaden my knowledge and practical skills relating to the field of computer science.
In my last year of primary school, I got a phone for the first time. I explored the fascinating world of technology through my little antique phone. As I wandered in curiosity, I encountered my favorite game called Sudoku. Again, stunned by the advancement of technology, I wondered how people made Sudoku playable on a tiny screen. I found out later that Sudoku and many other games are made by programming.
During my secondary school, I learned some basic programming and markup language which are Visual Basic, ActionScript on Adobe Flash, and HTML. Even though I stumbled on many obstacles and faced countless dead-end, I kept on creating projects and making simple websites. I was bemused that the words I typed could fill a blank sheet with colors, animations, and even interactive programs. These experiences incented me to delve deeper into the realm of computer science.
Throughout my school, I have participated in opportunities that strengthened my abilities on leadership and team work. The scout activities I used to participate taught me how important it is to trust and respect each other in order to achieve outstanding results. As a leader, I learned to give my ears to those in needs and making tough decisions that satisfy members in my team.
I am eager to gain new experiences, enhance my skills, and utilize them to give a great contribution to the society. Studying at Saxion University of Applied Sciences will be a perfect springboard for my future career.
Thank you for considering my application.
1. Please kindly give me some feedbacks :)
2. I am going to apply for a scholarship on the same university, should I use this same motivational letter? This one that i typed is for the admissions.
3. I am still in secondary school, so is the grammar on the third paragraph right?
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,562 3753
Keiko, this is not a motivation letter. In fact, I am not sure what it is that you wrote here. There is no clear motivation in this line coming from you other than an interest in Sudoku. Since you are applying for admission to applied computer science, you need to present a motivation letter that indicates specific activities that trained, honed, and developed your interest in this field. That is what the motivation letter is all about. What motivated you to study Applied Computer Science? Base that information on your secondary school training. Expand the discussion about your exposure to HTML coding and software languages which inspired you to try your hand at developing software on your own. Discuss your most impressive project to date as a secondary school student and further develop the discussion to increase your motivation level to study this course. Indicate your motivation for choosing the university as well.
You should not use the same motivational letter for the scholarship application. The scholarship application or letter of motivation usually comes with a different prompt that you are expected to respond to. There has never been a "one motivational letter fits all requirements" motivational letter developed. The question about the third paragraph is irrelevant because i am asking you to revise a majority of the information in your essay anyway. The finalization of the grammar content should come when you have developed the final content of the paper already.