I have commited a grave offence by rushing the development of my SOP. I would appreciate any feedback I can get on it:
In my initial search for a course to undertake for my Undergraduate studies, I had never considered a computer related field. Although I had above average computer knowledge, it seems I took a course in Computer Science almost by accident.
Since then, my desire for knowledge into the workings of all things computer related has been insatiable. Computers have become a great part of me. Sometimes, I see most problems as something that can be handled with good software.
During my first few weeks of employment at <Company name witheld>, an IT consulting firm in Nigeria, I was amongst a team of three responsible for developing an SMS-based system that would receive text messages from citizens, try to parse and understand the content of the message and respond back to the citizen and all other parties involved. The design required our team to contain all the logic in the database side with MySQL stored procedures. We were given a week to come up with a prototype. At that time, I knew nothing about MySQL other than its name. The devotion to the project that I got from my team members made me anticipate working more with them. The sleepless nights without overtime pay that we all endured were well worth it and that experience made me happier for the choice I had made, albeit by accident, to study Computer Science.
In Africa, the IT industry is growing fast. It is with joy that I see individuals from Africa make names for themselves in the IT industry outside of Africa, but it will give me greater joy to see Africa rise further into the Information Age with Africans driving this ascent. To be amongst this driving force is my ultimate dream. Many IT corporations in my part of the world have adapted to complacency in lack of innovation and are willing to let the rapid technological advancement occur in just the Western world.
Every day, I set out to do the best I can in my chosen field of Software Development. But, the satisfaction I crave will come from more than just developing software. Studying and researching new things with individuals that are not content with the mediocre, that strive to push the cutting edge of technology - or at least fully comprehend its workings - beyond what it is, in a top tier institution will serve to broaden my mind greatly. It is for this reason that I believe studying in a research oriented Graduate school, such as <College name witheld> would help me a great deal.
I have always been fascinated by digital, intelligent and adaptive systems. Having been involved in the creation of systems that use Business Intelligence, I have developed an interest in creating and using more adaptive software solutions in Nigeria. That is, software systems that can analyze and give feedback on any given problem within a defined scope without too much human intervention. Even though, the opportunities for creating artificially intelligent systems in Nigeria are not many, my interest has not waned. Even though I do not choose to specialize in Artificial Intelligence, I would appreciate an opportunity to work alongside other students in the <Institute name witheld>.
Specializing in Computer Security would serve as an ideal platform to work on real-world problems, and the solutions and initiatives obtained therein can be put to good use in other parts of the world where Information Security is taken trivially, but is crucial to most working systems.
I desire to be a software entrepreneur, leading innovation in not just software development, but the broader aspects of Information Technology, if not in the world, then at least in my home country. A lofty desire, maybe, but a Master's degree obtained from an institution such as the College of Computing is a great step in the right direction.
The end seems sloppy. I would like any input whatsoever.
Got to trim the boring part away from the beginning:
In my initial search for a course to undertake for my Undergraduate studies, I had never considered a computer related field. Although I had above average computer knowledge, it seems I took a course in Computer Science almost by accident.--Now THIS is a great first sentence for an essay. Very cool, very interesting. All essays must start with a great, intriguing sentence like this.
Since then, my desire for knowledge
into about the workings of ...
...see most problems as
something matters that can be handled with good software.
Every day, I set out to do my best
the best I can in my chosen field of in the field of Software Development.
I desire to be a software entrepreneur, leading innovation in not just software development but also in the broader aspects...