What do you consider your most significant life achievement (travel to Pakistan)

I have always enjoyed pursuing challenges that seem daunting to others; an opportunity to make an impact and lay down an example for others to follow. In one of my professional assignments, we were asked to travel to Pakistan to facilitate client discussions for an important upcoming project. A hostile political situation notwithstanding, business was faced with the huge challenge in motivating employees to undertake the business trip. Security concerns and personal prejudices took precedence on professional prospects and business opportunities. Realizing this as an opportunity to be counted upon, I raised my hand and expressed my desire to undertake the trip. I was sure that my willingness would certainly create a positive stir among the rest of the team. But what really clinched the deal was how we empowered and motivated the rest of the team on their indispensability for the project. The next few weeks witnessed intense discussions where my teammates would eagerly discuss their roles and how they felt they could really be part of something special. Such was the energy in the team that we even agreed to complete the project in 4 months while the usual timelines ranged from 10-12 months! The project was a success and I was personally congratulated by our regional vice-president. I consider it to be among my finest achievements where I lead by example and everybody found my enthusiasm and dedication both motivating and inspiring.

This is fine but, given the content, could be written with much more drama and color. Begin with a moment from that trip rather than with a general statement about yourself. Also, include more details (such as what sort of project this was) so that the incident feels more real to the reader.

^I think that can be cut out.

I am not sure if there is a word limit, but there is a considerable lack of depth and development. As Simone said, there can be much more drama and color.

I personally think that there should be some expansion and more detail given to describe perhaps, the atmosphere and the general sentiments of the people there. Perhaps, you can describe how you motivated and what you did that allows you to consider yourself a 'leader'.

Your essay is just a bit basic, because it is just sentence after sentence with no expressed feeling. There is no life to this essay...

Liebe

There is a word Limit of 200 so I did not have much to show personal emotion development as well as of Others.Any tips on what can be skimmed(apart from Opening line)?