My most consistent endeavor has been design; SOP

Hi there,
I am applying for grad school in Design and I would really appreciate some feedback on my statement of purpose. It's been awhile since I've been in school (about 4 years) and I'm concerned that my "talk" has become too juvenile or casual. I really want my desire for this education to shine. Any tips would be helpful! Thanks so much..here goes:

______________

Throughout my educational and hobby-filled life, my most consistent endeavor has been design. As a young girl, I dug through the garage for scraps of wood, pipe and metal to assemble into something that a seven year old deemed useful or pretty. When I got old enough, I found any excuse to use a power tool. I built things, I painted things, I made something out of nothing. And in that sense, not much about me has changed. It is because of my [inherent]? passion for craft and design that I wish to pursue a Masters of Fine Arts in Design from the University of Texas.

I earned my Bachelor's degree in Advertising in 2008 from The University of Oklahoma. My entire childhood and pre-adult life, I had my head in the Crayolas and paint and my hands on the models and glue. My introduction with Photoshop in 2006 presented a whole world of new possibilities. It added a new element to my skill set and introduced the idea that my hobby could potentially become my career. Photoshop was my gateway into digital design.

The graphic design courses at my institution, at the time, were limited, so I had to look for avenues outside of the classroom. I accepted an internship with the Director of Graphic Design in the Athletics Department at the University. I started out with simple tasks like, cutting out football players from their backgrounds to put on posters, laminating signs and assembling books, and I was hooked.

I started spending hours each day in Photoshop. I researched and studied, practiced and perfected. I combined my love of photography with my new love of Photoshop and expanded into Illustrator and InDesign. I started creating things for my friends for fun, and that turned in to my first job. And then, I just kept getting more jobs.

At the time, it seemed like everyone needed a logo, a poster, a business card, an invitation, and I was the gal they called. By mid 2007, I had started my own business. The majority of my projects center on identity branding, marketing material design and fine art commissions, with a few photo shoots sprinkled in.

I spent my last two years in Oklahoma finishing school and working on freelance projects for a wide range of clientele. There was Willy, the libations-lover who started his own brewery. There was the German chef who farmed organic produce who, in nearly every aspect, was Dwight Schrute from the television show The Office in real life.

I brought my business to Austin in 2009 and since then have worked with law firms and doctor's offices, food trailers and cake makers, body builders and plumbers. I welcome all projects, not because I have to, but because I want to. I love to create things for people and I feel honored when they choose to use what I've made to represent themselves-their business, their ideas, their products.

I have designed the logos for more than fifteen startups, most of which have grown into successful businesses. I have created marketing materials from the initial photo shoot to the final assembly for even more. I am a commissioned artist and commercial photographer. I am a designer, in all senses of the word.

My projects are steady and my work is something that I can feel proud of, but I want to go beyond my current capabilities and learn all facets of design; I want to work with my hands and incorporate what I already know and let it grow with me as I learn. I want to be more than a logo designer; I want to gain the skills necessary to use design to create positive change. The right design, tangible or intangible, is capable of speaking volumes. My goal on this journey is to be the voice behind that design and promote social awareness for the greater good.

The beginning and introduction are good. There is a required hook. The conclusion is a bit loose, u can talk more about what u want to do with grad course.

Thank you for the feedback. I agree, the end was giving me some trouble, I appreciate the tip!

I feel this provides a better hook for your SOP. It gives a clear picture about how your passion for designing developed.


Ok.... here you tell them what your future goals are. Then tell how this program would help you achieving them. That is the only thing I find missing here. Otherwise, I think it is a well written SOP.

Good luck with your application!