This the third and final response for the Health Administration MBA essay.
I really need some good advice on how to cut this down to 200 words. HELP! :0) Thank you in advance!
Discuss three of your achievements or accomplishments. (approximately 200 Words)
The rigor of my success has led me down a path of unadulterated adventure, intense melancholy, and peaceful contemplation. Rewind to post high school. There was no choice. Let me take that back, there was a choice. It was, "Go to college, " or "Go to college!" It could be said that my fate was sealed. But, the world was vast and one that I had hardly touched, even in the confines of the small college town where I would eventually earn my undergraduate degree. The tedious commitment and work was finally rewarded. I walked the gangway towards the stage to grasp the prize that had been a mere thought just four years prior. From the crowd, I heard my entire family screaming and at one juncture, I saw my Aunt performing a little jig. It was near Christmas when I graduated with a Bachelor of Science. In retrospect, I do not think they believed there was a better gift than to watch me graduate.
This would not be my first academic accomplishment. This time, I would cross the vast, aqua blue Pacific Ocean to make real my daydreams from the past. I will never forget the day I left. I looked into my mother's eyes searching for that "everything will be okay" message of comfort that only a mother can give. As I moved to embrace her, I started to bawl - a reaction I actually expected from her. She remained calm. Her peaceful heart and warmth was the comfort I needed in that exact moment. Reluctant, I released my embrace. I gave my dad a hug, slapped him on his lower back (our signature love pat) and told him, "I love you. Take care of mom." As I walked away, I glanced back once more. Her sapphire eyes gazed back, letting me know that everything, indeed, was going to be okay. As I set foot on the plane, a gut wrenching excitement overcame my entire being. I was on my way to the place I had always dreamed of living. It took me two years to plan and organize the move to Australia. Yet there I was, reveling in a goal I knew I could accomplish and one I never thought possible. As I sat in my seat, my focus remained on my mom and her piercing cerulean eyes. I thought to myself, "It's going to be okay, Stacy Lee. It's going to be okay." I never saw my mom again.
After my mom's passing just two months after I started my academic coursework, I found myself in a proverbial "Twilight Zone." Yet, I persevered, giving in only to the hard-working values that were instilled as a young child. One semester, I even made the Dean's list. But, just one year, two months, and twenty-five days after my mom's passing, heartache struck, again. My dad, in all of his stoicism and rigidity, emailed to tell me he was sick with pancreatic cancer. I was one semester away from graduating and for the first time in my life, I considered quitting academia so I could be with my dad in what I knew would most likely be his final days. Fortunately, I had a 4-week break in between semesters and made plans to fly home to be with my dad.
As I walked to the first class of my last semester, I pondered if I had made the right decision. My dad's firm words, "You get on that plane and finish what you started. I will be here waiting for you when you are done" lingered, and every day thereafter.
In 2005, I walked the stage to receive my Masters degree. My dad, unable to travel as he intended, was on the other end of my friend's telephone. She secretly made her way to the underside of the stage and held the phone so he could hear my name announced. I grasped the phone from her as I exited the stage. My dying father was there, as he had promised - "I knew you could do it. Now hurry home."
I really need some good advice on how to cut this down to 200 words. HELP! :0) Thank you in advance!
Discuss three of your achievements or accomplishments. (approximately 200 Words)
The rigor of my success has led me down a path of unadulterated adventure, intense melancholy, and peaceful contemplation. Rewind to post high school. There was no choice. Let me take that back, there was a choice. It was, "Go to college, " or "Go to college!" It could be said that my fate was sealed. But, the world was vast and one that I had hardly touched, even in the confines of the small college town where I would eventually earn my undergraduate degree. The tedious commitment and work was finally rewarded. I walked the gangway towards the stage to grasp the prize that had been a mere thought just four years prior. From the crowd, I heard my entire family screaming and at one juncture, I saw my Aunt performing a little jig. It was near Christmas when I graduated with a Bachelor of Science. In retrospect, I do not think they believed there was a better gift than to watch me graduate.
This would not be my first academic accomplishment. This time, I would cross the vast, aqua blue Pacific Ocean to make real my daydreams from the past. I will never forget the day I left. I looked into my mother's eyes searching for that "everything will be okay" message of comfort that only a mother can give. As I moved to embrace her, I started to bawl - a reaction I actually expected from her. She remained calm. Her peaceful heart and warmth was the comfort I needed in that exact moment. Reluctant, I released my embrace. I gave my dad a hug, slapped him on his lower back (our signature love pat) and told him, "I love you. Take care of mom." As I walked away, I glanced back once more. Her sapphire eyes gazed back, letting me know that everything, indeed, was going to be okay. As I set foot on the plane, a gut wrenching excitement overcame my entire being. I was on my way to the place I had always dreamed of living. It took me two years to plan and organize the move to Australia. Yet there I was, reveling in a goal I knew I could accomplish and one I never thought possible. As I sat in my seat, my focus remained on my mom and her piercing cerulean eyes. I thought to myself, "It's going to be okay, Stacy Lee. It's going to be okay." I never saw my mom again.
After my mom's passing just two months after I started my academic coursework, I found myself in a proverbial "Twilight Zone." Yet, I persevered, giving in only to the hard-working values that were instilled as a young child. One semester, I even made the Dean's list. But, just one year, two months, and twenty-five days after my mom's passing, heartache struck, again. My dad, in all of his stoicism and rigidity, emailed to tell me he was sick with pancreatic cancer. I was one semester away from graduating and for the first time in my life, I considered quitting academia so I could be with my dad in what I knew would most likely be his final days. Fortunately, I had a 4-week break in between semesters and made plans to fly home to be with my dad.
As I walked to the first class of my last semester, I pondered if I had made the right decision. My dad's firm words, "You get on that plane and finish what you started. I will be here waiting for you when you are done" lingered, and every day thereafter.
In 2005, I walked the stage to receive my Masters degree. My dad, unable to travel as he intended, was on the other end of my friend's telephone. She secretly made her way to the underside of the stage and held the phone so he could hear my name announced. I grasped the phone from her as I exited the stage. My dying father was there, as he had promised - "I knew you could do it. Now hurry home."
