'my deep rooted interest in geology' - A motivation essay in helping to pursue my graduate studies

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
I am Nyora Donald Kobare, a 26 years old Tanzanian citizen. Currently, I am being recruited and working as Tutorial Assistant at the Geology Department of the University of Dar es Salaam. Throughout my education life, study geothermal energy or relevance MSc program has always been my ambition and I am still eagerly fascinated with make up of the earth.

I completed undergraduate studies in 2014 at the University of Dodoma Tanzania. The time I graduated was the best student in the college with a first class G.P.A of 4.4 out of 5. I have a strong desire and energy to learn more and develop my career further yet further. During my bachelor degree studies I also acquired field practical training related to geology, which includes geological mapping of the diamond bearing kimberlite pipe at Williamson Diamond Limited (WDL) in Shinyanga, Tanzania. This mapping project which involves sedimentological analysis and logging aimed at studying and monitoring the dilution of mudstone in relation to diamond production.

I am enthusiastic that if given an opportunity to pursue Masters degree at Technical University of Delft, a leading institution of its kind in Netherlands, I decided that will concentrate on improving geology expertise in the field of energy which is integral to sustainable development in the world.

My aspirations to apply this graduate studies came from serious considerations of geothermal development in my home country, The United Republic of Tanzania, which is endowed with a huge geothermal potential areas, that remains largely under explored.

Obtaining an opportunity at your institution I expect to gain quality and diverse knowledge in the field applied geophysics related to geothermal. This knowledge will be very important for my future career development and also will serve my country through teaching and consultancy.

With my deep rooted interest in Tanzania geology as well as global geology and recognition of the quality of your University programs, I hope you will give my application every consideration.

Hi Nyora,

it is a good statement already. you can explain your passion, your background of education specifically, and why they have to choose you. In some cases, i often notice people try to put the heartbreaking or strong background in the introduction part or within the first or second paragraph. because we cannot deny some of the committee or skimmer will not read the whole statement if they cannot find something interesting in the former part. so, i suggest you to briefly introduce yourself and put your strong reason why you apply or want to be and teh story behind it. i hope it can help you.

Hi Nyora, as I read and understand your essay, I believe it can still be enhanced by knowing the proper words to incorporate your essay and making sure that the message you are trying to say is transpire in your essay.

Having said that, I would like to share a few insights in your essay, please find below;

- I amMy name is Nyora Donald Kobare,
- Currently, I am being recruited andI am currently - Throughout my educationacademic life,
- with the make up of the earth.

- The time I graduated wasas
- the best student in the college with a firstmy class with a G.P.A
- further yet further( this is not necessary ) .
- During my bachelor's degree
- studies I also acquired

There you have it Nyora, as you can see, there is a huge difference when you know exactly which words will represent your ideas. Even more so if you have the thought and it clearly transpired in your essay. Well, no worries, however, practice is the key to get better at this craft, so no rush but learn to adapt every single advice you can get, believe me, they are very valuable to your future writing pieces.