An email massage to a Professor seeking for his supervisor ship for Masters Degree in Engineering.

Hi everyone, I really need your help with this email massage to a supervisor.
I appreciate your feedback and comments on my email to a supervisor whose research expertise is in Transportation and Traffic engineering, seeking for his supervisor ship for a Masters Degree in Civil Engineering in Canada.

interest in the Masters of Applied Science (MASc) program

Dear Prof. xxxxx,

My name is xxxxx.

I came across your research activities on the website of the Building, Civil, and Environmental Engineering (BCEE) department of Concordia University, and am writing to inform you of my interest in the Masters of Applied Science (MASc) program in the research/teaching assistant-ship in similar field of Pavement and Transportation Engineering. I have started applying to the University with applicable documents.

I currently hold a Bachelor's degree (B. Tech) in Civil Engineering from xxxxx, having graduated with a CGPA of 4.02 on a five-point scale system, and a Master's degree (M. Tech) in Geo-Information Technology (GIS), from xxxxx all in Nigeria.

I was delighted to learn that you introduced the use of ARCGIS and CIV3D as part of CIVI 691M and CIVI 471 respectively in the Civil Engineering Department. I have developed a great interest in the use of ARCGIS and am passionate and wish to excel in this field of ARCGIS as it applies to Transportation Engineering and Pavement Management System.

Before I continue with my profession, I prefer to do more research projects which I believe will enhance my career.

My undergraduate project work focuses on Design of 2.5km road linking Akabuka and Ahoada Omoku road of Rivers State. My Thesis work is on "Analysis of Urban Traffic Congestion in Onitsha Metropolis" whose aim is to use spatial technique and traffic models in analyzing congestion problem in the metropolis. Through this projects, I have learned the skills necessary for conducting research including reading of literature reviews and conducting field studies on Transportation engineering. All theses I believe will help me in the graduate programme.

As my interest are in line with some of your research work, I would passionately follow the research toward positive result. Along with all these, I have unique skills in the use of AutoCAD, ArcGIS, Global Mapper, CSpro, SPSS etc.

Please find my attached CV for your perusal.

Through those projects, I have learned the necessary skills for conducting research including reading of literature reviews and conducting field studies on Transportation engineering

Chuma, this is a very weak and impressive letter. I am also confused as to whether you are applying for a student aid position in the office of the professor of if you want to gain a with him as your thesis mentor. The tone is highly impersonal and the information about yourself does not offer anything unique about your research interests. Your student abilities will not impress the professor as there are many of you with the same qualifications. The only chance you have of holding the interest of this professor is if you can convince him that you have done similar interest in the field and that being a teaching Assurant for him will benefit your further research. Your current letter doesn't offer a personal insight as to how a teaching assistant position with this professor can increase your academic knowledge and training. Therefore, your letter may not be given serious consideration. I strongly suggest revising your content in a manner that connects your research interests with the professor's work. Along with that, play up your skills as his possible teaching assistant by discussing whatever unique but related skills, training, and previous experience you might have. Find reasons that will make you stand out sp we his teaching assistant. That cannot be read in this current letter.

@Holt
Tanks for ur suggestions and response...i really appreciate...i must confess to u, dat u are really doing a lot on this site--talking about d way u help ppl mold their English for various applications.... infact i must say dat u are a Professor of English if am not mistaken.

This is so because the way u sieve out mistakes and errors form write-up is really encouraging...I tank God for discovering and being part of this forum...its a wonderful place to be...i hope u will look at my revised write-up when i put it up again...

Once again tanks for ur suggestions....