Explaining poor grades during undergrad

I am applying to grad school and I have a very good GPA from my undergraduate work. However, my initial undergrad work (when I was 18 &19 -- I am now 38) is quite poor. I know my explanation is a bit dramatic but its the truth. There is a huge difference in my before GPA and after and the grad school thought I would be able to explain it in 2-3 sentences. Here is my explanation...

I would like to make a brief mention of my previous academic work from GSU. I am not attempting to make excuses I would however, like to explain my situation. I grew up in a very abusive home and upon finishing high school I immediately moved out of my home, supported myself and started college. I realized after sometime that I should have received psychiatric counseling before starting college. After several semesters of poor grades, I withdrew from school for a number of years. I worked and married a very supportive man who along with his parents, provided me with much needed therapy and the healthy concept of family. As my academic records reflect, I dealt with my past, returned to school, and became a registered nurse. For the past several years I have volunteered in my community with a child abuse organization and am currently on the board of Prevent Child Abuse Athens.

Can it be made shorter? Clean it up ?

Thank you!

Alex, I tried to clean up your statement for you. I hope it suits your needs :-)

Having just removed myself for an abusive household upon entering college, I will admit that I was unprepared for the requirements of the course due to emotional and psychological issues stemming from the abuse that I had previously suffered. Trying to deal with my personal issues alone affected my grades and resulted in grades that I am not proud of because in hindsight, I knew I could have done better. Rather than letting my personal issues affect my grades, I should have used it as an inspiration to do better in life. Instead, I ended up dropping out of school and trying to find my way in life. Having turned my life around, I have become a registered nurse and helped abused children through the Prevent Child Abuse Athens organization. My success as a person overshadows any shortcomings I may have had as a student, I hope that I can be considered for admission upon merits other than my college grades.

Hello,

At 38 years old, no one will hold your undergraduate freshman and sophomore grades against you. This is especially true if you finished your undergraduate career with a strong overall gpa. There is no need to write this and contrary to what you ask the reader not to do, it will be looked as as just an excuse. - Admissions Advice Online