Georgetown MS Finance, "Why should we admit you?", AKA how bad is this from 1 - 10

Hello everyone,

I have severe writer's block in deciding what to write for my essay. The prompt asks only to address 1. why Georgetown, 2. why a MS finance, 3. why I should be admitted and 4. my career objectives. The truth is that I want a degree to address my weak undergrad career, learn classroom finance skills, and start a career in investment management. I'm wondering: does this essay convey any of that? I'm a terrible writer and would like to hear opinions on this and what your general thoughts are.

It is 1.5 pages, single spaced 12-pt font, not a long read. Please let me know your thoughts!

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Hi, I like your essay. However, if I were you I would follow the following structure:
1. My my career objectives
2. MS finance (how this MS help me to reach my point 1. I )
3. why Georgetown
4. why I should be admitted
I see in your essay some mix of these point in several paragraphs.
Hope this help
Good luck.