Hello all, I need suggestion or critics on anything for my personal statement. The prompt is: "Please provide us your personal statement why you think you deserve the scholarship. Please limit your statement to 500 words".
I can't figure out how to make a good flow from one paragraph to another paragraph. And also the length is too long as it supposed to be 500 words.
Any responses are highly appreciated. Thank you for reading and your comments in advance!
It was almost 4 years ago when my supervisor gave me an opportunity to conduct study for my bachelor thesis in which I had to collect clinical samples from children at several remote villages in Indonesia in order to identify Enterovirus that circulating in asymptomatic children. I unintentionally met a resident family whose 5-year-old daughter was pitifully paralyzed possibly due to Enterovirus infection because the study later found out the high frequency of the virus circulating in the population. I realize that I could not do anything to cure the disease the girl suffered, but I am sure that there must be a way to prevent other children infected by these awful infectious agents. This experience has led me to develop genuine interest in pursuing study in the nature of viruses implicated in infectious diseases
During my undergraduate study in the Department of Biology (University of Indonesia), I was given an opportunity to involve as an internship research student to study the screening of Hepatitis C virus (HCV) inhibitors from Indonesian indigenous actinomycetes in Indonesian Institute of Science (LIPI), where I have also finished my final research project in the molecular epidemiology of Enterovirus. During my internship in the institute, I gained proficiency in advanced molecular biology technique and furthered the knowledge that I acquired at school, particularly that I had limited accessibility to master those techniques as a student. At this phase of my internship and research-studentship, I am confident in my ability to learn and perform molecular works in order to carry out research in infectious diseases area.
In addition to academic activities, I had also involved in extracurricular activities. I joined as an active member of SIGMA-B UI, a semi independent organization of Department of Biology - UI working in marine biology conservation education and elected as a chairman for 2006-2007 periods. Through all of the organization's activities: educating high school and college students about marine conservation awareness, in addition to its main activities on marine biodiversity assessment in several unique places throughout Indonesia, I have learned to take good consideration as well as making decisions in very limited time, understood how important teamwork and cooperation is, and organized my time appropriately.
After graduated from my undergraduate study, I was immediately assigned as a research assistant in private-funding non-profit cancer research institute, Mochtar Riady Institute, investigating molecular epidemiology of Hepatitis B virus (HBV) and HCV in Indonesia. I am very fortunate to have a chance to do every part needed to carry out research in this premier institute. From preparing research proposal, calculating research budget, executing laboratory works, analyzing obtained data, presenting weekly and monthly report, as well as finding conclusions, and writing manuscript to be published in peer-reviewed international journal. All these valuable research experiences have given me broad skills in laboratory work and details of how to independently carry out a research which I thoroughly enjoy.
Applying ***** scholarship will give me opportunities to deepen my knowledge of infectious diseases as well as acquiring the essential technical skills that will help me to pursue my ultimate goal. As I successfully complete my postgraduate degree, I am convinced that I will acquire research competences and eventually gain more detailed understanding in the field of infectious diseases. I would also aspire to contribute in the advancement of Indonesian higher education by teaching in particular coursework or by providing research opportunities for undergraduate or graduate students in collaboration with host universities. By enhancing the research in infectious diseases field and building close collaborations among Indonesian and international experts, I undoubtedly believe that I would confer something for the society to combat infectious diseases.
I can't figure out how to make a good flow from one paragraph to another paragraph. And also the length is too long as it supposed to be 500 words.
Any responses are highly appreciated. Thank you for reading and your comments in advance!
Biology and Infectious Diseases Research
It was almost 4 years ago when my supervisor gave me an opportunity to conduct study for my bachelor thesis in which I had to collect clinical samples from children at several remote villages in Indonesia in order to identify Enterovirus that circulating in asymptomatic children. I unintentionally met a resident family whose 5-year-old daughter was pitifully paralyzed possibly due to Enterovirus infection because the study later found out the high frequency of the virus circulating in the population. I realize that I could not do anything to cure the disease the girl suffered, but I am sure that there must be a way to prevent other children infected by these awful infectious agents. This experience has led me to develop genuine interest in pursuing study in the nature of viruses implicated in infectious diseases
During my undergraduate study in the Department of Biology (University of Indonesia), I was given an opportunity to involve as an internship research student to study the screening of Hepatitis C virus (HCV) inhibitors from Indonesian indigenous actinomycetes in Indonesian Institute of Science (LIPI), where I have also finished my final research project in the molecular epidemiology of Enterovirus. During my internship in the institute, I gained proficiency in advanced molecular biology technique and furthered the knowledge that I acquired at school, particularly that I had limited accessibility to master those techniques as a student. At this phase of my internship and research-studentship, I am confident in my ability to learn and perform molecular works in order to carry out research in infectious diseases area.
In addition to academic activities, I had also involved in extracurricular activities. I joined as an active member of SIGMA-B UI, a semi independent organization of Department of Biology - UI working in marine biology conservation education and elected as a chairman for 2006-2007 periods. Through all of the organization's activities: educating high school and college students about marine conservation awareness, in addition to its main activities on marine biodiversity assessment in several unique places throughout Indonesia, I have learned to take good consideration as well as making decisions in very limited time, understood how important teamwork and cooperation is, and organized my time appropriately.
After graduated from my undergraduate study, I was immediately assigned as a research assistant in private-funding non-profit cancer research institute, Mochtar Riady Institute, investigating molecular epidemiology of Hepatitis B virus (HBV) and HCV in Indonesia. I am very fortunate to have a chance to do every part needed to carry out research in this premier institute. From preparing research proposal, calculating research budget, executing laboratory works, analyzing obtained data, presenting weekly and monthly report, as well as finding conclusions, and writing manuscript to be published in peer-reviewed international journal. All these valuable research experiences have given me broad skills in laboratory work and details of how to independently carry out a research which I thoroughly enjoy.
Applying ***** scholarship will give me opportunities to deepen my knowledge of infectious diseases as well as acquiring the essential technical skills that will help me to pursue my ultimate goal. As I successfully complete my postgraduate degree, I am convinced that I will acquire research competences and eventually gain more detailed understanding in the field of infectious diseases. I would also aspire to contribute in the advancement of Indonesian higher education by teaching in particular coursework or by providing research opportunities for undergraduate or graduate students in collaboration with host universities. By enhancing the research in infectious diseases field and building close collaborations among Indonesian and international experts, I undoubtedly believe that I would confer something for the society to combat infectious diseases.