How am I interested in FINANCE? --Opening paragraph for personal statement

This is the opening paragraph for personal statement. Waiting for instructions!

When I was a sophomore at high school, a coincidence led me to the aspirations for finance and investment. An alumnus named Yawei Wang came to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of our high school and gave a lecture. His humorous and witty statement introduced to me a whole wonderland of finance. Later I learned that he is one of the most outstanding hedge fund managers in China and now holding the title of the Vice President of China Asset Management Co., Ltd. Bearing a curious mind, I asked my mother, a seasoned stock investor, to take me to the trading floor of a Stock Exchange. There I found that what underlies all the small fluctuations in the computer is a finance empire so thrilling yet appealing.

Is this for a finance program in the United States? If not, where? To give you a little advice, I would need to know where the program is and be able to read more of your essay.

It's for LSE in the UK.
And I want to use it to apply the MSF in US as well.
Do u have any suggestion?

Thx.

Hello,

Have you had any experience at all in fiance? If not, you need to talk about the experience you do have and how and why you now wish to study finance. Your essay has to be very strong as the competition for virtually all MSF programs is extremely harsh. - admissions essay advice