Issue 108/110; Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless..

Could someone please judge my response to ISSUE 108/110? Some suggestions please! Thank you very much.

Issue 108/110
Issue 108/110
Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from someone who is an expert in that field.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

In the contemporary era of rapid social and technological change leading to increased complexity in every single aspect of any area, critical judgment from professional or amateur perspectives is now facing both appreciation and challenge. Any conclusion may fall into biased if it is examined with absolutization, so is the value of judgment, which, at least, should be separately examined in science or in art. With speedy development of science, most people in area of scientific research are now focusing on only one spot, which lead to that people from outside can barely judge the work critically. On the other hand, those areas of art, which based its life resource from the spirit of human beings are able to call for critical judgment by someone may not be in area of art but still have the mind for appreciation of beauty.

In the area of science, progression only comes from those experts who have devoted literarily countless time and energy into a specific study area for the reason that accumulated knowledge not only brought professional background but also inspire creative activities. However, people may argue that those judgments from outsiders may have significant values for they have brought new perspective to a specific area which may be inspiring! But when we deeply review history we cannot find any actual events in which outsiders contribute greatly to a specific scientific area. Those revolutionary findings only come from the experts in one area, who have possessed and absorbed pre-existing nutrition. If Newton did not studies those pre-existing mathematics theories, it would be impossible for him to calculate the laws of motion and can never conclude the theory of gravity. If Russell, the greatest philosophy in 20th century, did not examined pre-existing philosophical books and thoughts, he would never be able to finish the masterpiece of the history of western philosophy, in which he critically judged and appreciated the story and the historical value of former philosophy. So it should be safe to say that in the area of science and philosophy, where rational reasoning and thinking are urgent in research, accumulation in one specific area is critical. Therefore, critical judgment may contribute to vain if it comes from people who are totally out of that area.

In the area of art, where creative thoughts come from the nature of human beings' spirit and appreciation of beauty, the judgment may still have great value if it comes from outsider or even from young generation without much experience. People may argue that practice may be most necessary merit in the development of art and therefore only people who are experts and have spent so much time in practice and have already be famous could be able to find the flaws and appraisal a piece of art. However, the history of art simply demonstrates a large volume of revolution comes from numerous people who were relatively young. Beethoven finished his masterpiece in his twenties. He disdained the main form of musicians in his time and he creatively combined the dramatic classic style of lively contrasts and symmetrical forms. These works helped Beethoven give voice to the new current of subjectivity and sing praises of Enlightenment, an 18th century movement that promoted the ideals of freedom and equality.

In the final analysis, the value of judgment should be deliberately examined in different circumstances, as there has never existed one simple rule but fitting everywhere.

I have made some grammar modifications:(you can do it yourself at english-spelling-grammar check at the internet.)
In the contemporary era of rapid social and technological change leading to increased complexity in every single aspect of any area, critical judgment from professional or amateur perspectives is now facing both appreciation and challenge. Any conclusion may fall into biased if it is examined with absolutization, so is the value of judgment, which, at least, should be separately examined in science or in art. With the speedy development of science, most people in the area of scientific research are now focusing on only one spot, which lead to that people from outside can barely judge the work critically. On the other hand, those areas of art, which based its life resource from the spirit of human beings are able to call for critical judgment by someone may not be in an area of art but still have the mind for appreciation of beauty.

In the area of science, progression only comes from those experts who have devoted literally countless time and energy into a specific study area for the reason that accumulated knowledge not only brought a professional background but also inspire creative activities. However, people may argue that those judgments from outsiders may have significant values for they have brought a new perspective to a specific area which may be inspiring! But when we deeply review history we cannot find any actual events in which outsiders contribute greatly to a specific scientific area. Those revolutionary findings only come from the experts in one area, who have possessed and absorbed pre-existing nutrition. If Newton did not study those pre-existing mathematics theories, it would be impossible for him to calculate the laws of motion and can never conclude the theory of gravity. If Russell, the greatest philosophy in the 20th century, did not examine pre-existing philosophical books and thoughts, he would never be able to finish the masterpiece of the history of western philosophy, in which he critically judged and appreciated the story and the historical value of the former philosophy. So it should be safe to say that in the area of science and philosophy, where rational reasoning and thinking are urgent in research, accumulation in one specific area is critical. Therefore, critical judgment may contribute to vain if it comes from people who are totally out of that area.

In the area of art, where creative thoughts come from the nature of human beings' spirit and appreciation of beauty, the judgment may still have great value if it comes from outsiders or even from young generation without much experience. People may argue that the practice may be most necessary merit in the development of art and therefore only people who are experts and have spent so much time in practice and have already been famous could be able to find the flaws and appraising a piece of art.

However, the history of art simply demonstrates a large volume of revolution comes from numerous people who were relatively young. Beethoven finished his masterpiece in his twenties. He disdained the main form of musicians in his time and he creatively combined the dramatic classic style of lively contrasts and symmetrical forms. These works helped Beethoven give voice to the new current of subjectivity and sing praises of Enlightenment, an 18th century movement that promoted the ideals of freedom and equality.

In the final analysis, the value of judgment should be deliberately examined in different circumstances, as there has never existed one simple rule but fitting everywhere.

The major issues deal with using passive voice and complex expressions. In the first paragraph, consider changing the word "abolutization" as it comes across as being too complex and distracts from the points you are trying to make. Also in the first paragraph, the phrase "Any conclusion may fall into biased" should be reworded as one cannot fall into bias-one can become biased.

The opening sentence is too jumbled and confusing: "In the contemporary era of rapid social and technological change leading to increased complexity in every single aspect of any area, critical judgment from professional or amateur perspectives is now facing both appreciation and challenge."

Many sentences contain incorrect and/or unnecessary words (e.g. which lead to that people), while others seem to be missing words (e.g. ... call for critical judgment by someone may not be...).

In the second paragraph, there are several errors. A couple of examples:
"...who have devoted literarily countless time and energy..." (should be "literally"; however, the overall sentence structure is cumbersome).
"Newton did not studies..." (should be study).

What you are trying to convey becomes confused by the sentence structure. Consider simplifying your sentences to make them flow seamlessly and be sure that the ending sentence in one paragraph and the first sentence in the next transition well.