Law School personal statement (to specialize in immigration law)

The ability to change one's self in order to adapt to a new environment is one of the most important skills that a person can have. I had to learn those skills very quickly when my life changed overnight. At 14 years old, my family was forced to move to America and I had to change myself in order to survive and succeed in this new country.

Back in Armenia, my father was fought against privatizations of a research laboratory -where he was the lead researcher. He was fighting to keep the laboratory public so all of the people who worked there would not lose their jobs. At the time, people who were trying to buy the laboratory started to threaten my father, scared for our safety, we decided to leave our country and seek asylum in America. The decision to move was made swiftly and there was no time to really understand what this meant for me and my family. My parents and I left my little brother, who was 11 at the time, back home and started our life in America-the American embassy did not let my brother to come along with us. The change was tremendous and all of us had a hard time adjusting to the new environment. None of us spoke English and that was the first obstacle I had to overcome in order to succeed in America.

I started in the eighth grade here in America and I was put in a special class for English learners. At first it was very hard for me to adjust to the new language and the new social environment. I worked very hard to improve my English skills and with the advice of one of my teachers, I started reading in English for about four hours a day. After sticking to the regiment, not only I succeeded in improving my English skills I managed to graduate with honors. I spent only one year in an English learner's class since I transferred to a magnet high school where they did not have special classes for kids that did not speak English. The other aspects of my transition into the American life were not so smooth.

When we came to America we had to apply for an asylum and wait for the decision. Because my parents did not speak English, my father had a hard time explaining what happened back in Armenia to the lawyer who was preparing our case. I do not if the translator did not do their job correctly or the lawyer did not care much about the case, but the case was prepared very poorly and we ended up being denied for asylum. After three years and rewriting the case with two other lawyers we were finally given asylum in 2004. It was a very hard time in our lives since we did not have any American documents and my brother was still in Armenia. After another two years my brother finally joined us here in America-we did see him for about six years. These experiences helped to shape my character and because of them I decided to become a lawyer.

After going through the process of naturalization in America I decided to become a lawyer and specialize in immigration law. My experience will give me unique prospective and help me better understand people who are seeking asylum in America. Knowing all of the emotions involved with the transition, I can make their transition a bit easier. These changes in my life made me into the person that I am today and ultimately influenced my decision to seek a legal education.

this is a very inspirational essay. you will definitely get into the school u are applying for.

just some quick grammatical corrections

Back in Armenia, my father was fought against privatizations of a research laboratory

He was fighting to keep the laboratory public so all of the peoplethat those who worked there would not lose their jobs.

At the time, people who were trying to buy the laboratory started to threaten my father, scared for our safety, we decided to leave our country and seek asylum in America

I can't quite get my brain around this right now but this sentence needs to be changed. Probably
into two separate sentences or have a better conjunction.

My parents and I left my little brother, who was 11 at the time, back home and started our life in America-the American embassy did not let my brother to come along with us.

instead of this kind of structure, it is better to say

My parents and I had to leave my younger brother back home because the American embassy didn't allow him permit into the US, and started our life in America without him

or something like that. the hyphen does not work the way you put it.

and so on. Go over the paper couple of times and try and see if it makes sense or if you can improve it to get the point across in concise and straightforward manner.

Good luck

It looks like that first paragraph could use one additional sentence. It seems that you built up the concept of having to change without completing the thought; complete the paragraph by trying to capture -- in a single sentence -- the full truth about this change you experienced and what it means.

Back in Armenia, my father was fighting against the privatiz ation of a...
Oh! I see that Marcel alrady corrected this error. His way of correcting it is very good. You can choose either his way or the way I showed you (above).

I see that Marcel gave good corrections... so I will tell you something about the thesis statement:

It looks like that first paragraph could use one additional sentence. It seems that you built up the concept of having to change without completing the thought; complete the paragraph by trying to capture -- in a single sentence -- the full truth about this change you experienced and what it means.

I see that you talk about a decision to study law. Maybe you can end the first paragraph with a sentence that says your process of change was empowering and it will culminate with your study of law.