I am preparing for CBEST. Please suggest me where I need improvement . Thank you guy
This is the worst experience but taught me invaluable lesson of life. It was couples of years before when my mother got admitted in hospital due to severe condition. She was a diebetic patient from last 4-5 yrs. We are expecting her recovery because she was just 50 years old and can not even imagine that she could leave us suddenly. The hardest part of the situation is that it is just before 3 days of my sister wedding.We are all including her so engaged in the preparation of marriage and she got sick suddenly. All was set for the ceremony and an unexpected disaster ruined everything. The wedding ceremony done just as a formality. Being the eldest daughter I was consoling my siblings but what I was feeling can not be explained in words.My mother died and marriage happened (we could not postpone because of some rituals). How I managed these two unremarkable situations of life was the courage inside me, I never felt before. Those7 days of my life turned me so mature,responsible and practical person. It taught me nothing is stop because of the absense of someone whether its dearest one.We have to do our duties, we are ready or not. Circumstances teach us to get ready for everything.
Though I have no words to explain my grief yet I learned how to use pain as a strength to move forward in life. My mother was not there but her dearth taught me ;don't stop in any situation, keep moving.
This is the worst experience I've ever had but it taught me a invaluable lesson of life. It was a couple of years before (...) in hospital due to her severe condition. She was a diabetic patient from last 4-5 yrs. We were expecting her recovery (...) and can not even imagine that she could leave us suddenly.
Are you sure you're saying that SHE couldn't imagine? Are you sure you don't mean YOU couldn't imagine? ;)
The hardest part of the situation is that it is just 3 days before my sister's wedding .We were all including her so engaged...
The wedding ceremony was done just as a formality.
How I managed these two unremarkableUnremarkable. Wow. No. Try another word. Like "remarkable". situations of life was t...
... responsible and practical person. either that, or "turned me INTO a .... [person]".It taught me nothing is stop ...
We have to do our duties,regardless of whether we are ready or not.
My mother was not there but her death taught me ...
@ spachelord Thankyou for the suggestion.
How I managed these two unremarkable Unremarkable. Wow. No. Try another word. Like "remarkable". situations of life was .
please suggest some suitable words.
Hi Sangeeta, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, we hope you find this website helpful as much as valuable to your writing needs. We strive to provide you with the most accurate and confident feedback in order for you to submit a well structured and strong essay.
Having said that, please find the suggestions below to enhance your essay.
- This is the worst experience I had, however,but
-it taught me invaluable lessons inof life.
- It was couples of years beforeago when
- my mother got admitted into the hospital due
- ofbefore my sisters wedding.
- We are all including herShe was so engaged
- It taught me nothing isto stop because
- its a dearest one.
- We have to do our duties,wether we are ready or not.
- my grief yet, ( the word "yet" is not necessary in the sentence ) I learned
- move forward inwith life.
- My mother was not there but her dearthdeath taught me ;don't stopnot to stop of give up in any
- situation,and to keep moving.
There you have it Sangeeta, overall, the corrections are only minor ones, however minor though, it is still advisable to keep your sentences with all the right links to complete it.
Thank you for taking time & efforts. I will do my best and keep improving !
