A list if 25 random lists of Duke MMS (Still unfinished)

Hey guys, this is currently where I am, seeking for assistance from tutors , it is kind of urgent as the DDL is approaching. Thanks for helping me!

1. I've been to seven countries ranging four continents, leaving Africa the remaining one to explore. And among all the cities I've been to, the best one to live the rest of one's life, from my perspective, is Melbourne, not only owing to the graceful sceneries nearby but the pleasing pace of life.

2. My father was so busy when I was a child that he was always unable to be with my family during Spring Festival, the most important traditional festival in China until I was 12, which left me the responsibility to take care of mom since childhood who knows nothing but teaching high school English.

3. It's funny that we commonly use three languages to chat in my family at the same time including Mandarin, English and local dialect as both of my parents are fluent English speakers.

4. My Dad has two brothers, both of whom had only one girl while my mom has got two sisters who all gave birth to a boy, making me the only connection between the two big families.

5. Can anyone state the differences between the Espresso, Latte and Cappuccino served in Starbucks in one sentence? I do.

6. I am absolutely crazy about The News Room, the HBO episodes written by Aaron Sorkin discussing Morality and commercialization of Journalism which from my perspective, are the best TV series I've ever seen. I have literally watched the entire 3 seasons for five times !!!

7. Just like Dukiers, I am fever about basketball. I could not remember how many apparel Labeled Duke I bought last time when I visited the Durham Campus, I even specifically picked out the same Number (No.1) Kyrie Irving was wearing when he graduated from Duke. GO BLUE DEVILS!

8. I've formed a hobby of collecting Basketball sneakers since primary school, which has been complained by my mom all the time as I took up 90% place of our cabinet and still wanted more!

9. Do not doubt the seriousness of me being a huge supporter of Houston Rockets, I can recall nearly every game in the playoffs over last three seasons, although I was heartbroken when heard Dwight Howard was

leaving the team several months ago.

10. I've always been dreaming about driving Life Cycle like Garrett Hedlund did in Tron: Legacy with a girl sitting in my back seat, as sunrise shines. (Anyone?)

11. If I were admitted into MMS program, I would become the first master candidate of my entire clan.

12. I was obsessed with Cartoon as a child with the favorite one being Slamdunk, which I believe plenty of striplings do share with me.

13. My star sign is cancer, representing a primary focus on family and a strong perseverance of insisting in something I believe, such as being a father in the future for I utterly like kids.

14. The best wine I ever tasted is a bottle of Riesling with citrus fruit flavor that I bought in Adelaide, Australia. (Year, I am more like a girl when it comes to wine)

15. I was one of the few candidates who were both selected by PwC LEAP and KPMG Elite program among thousands of applicants in Shanghai last year.

16. Does anyone noticed that the Dow dropped off over 700 points in future trading when Mr. Donald Trump was announced to be the president-elect but only 650 when the tragedy of 9/11 happened?

17. Another interesting comparison deserves to mention is that Duke Chapel is the most impressive one I've ever visited except Notre Dame de Paris, although Victor Hugo should take most of the credit of it.

18. I don't know about others, but I am quite proud to have several great friends who would go through fires and water for me if needed.

19. Never test my resistance towards bolognaise spaghetti, I failed it every time！

20. I am currently in a romantic relationship lasting almost 1000 days.

21. My favorite book stays as The Island for years, a debut novel by Victoria Hislop, the story of four generation Petrakis women which always reminds me to be the savior of my own life, never complaining, never giving up.

25. Upon graduation from college, five of my good friends from high school and I will be located everywhere on the earth, one in France, one in Beijing, one in London, one in Sydney, one back to our hometown and I will be, hopefully, in Durham.

Rolland, what exactly is the complete prompt you are creating the list for? It would be easier for me to decide which portions to remove if I knew what the list should contain. In general though, there are a number of things in your list that I believe do not be there because, if I am right, you should be listing 25 random things about you and not the university. I could be wrong but from the information you have listed, it seems that is the trend the prompt is looking for.

So, the first line of information that you should change are all the references to Duke in the list. Don't be a suck up in this list. The list should be about interesting information regarding you as a person. Leave your fixation with Duke out of it. This is an interview. Your chance to tell the reviewer about little known facts, eccentricities, and abilities that you may not have had a chance to present in the common app prompts. Don't waste your only opportunity, your only chance to let them know who you really are. Drop the reference to Donald Trump as well. What exactly does that say about you? Exactly. It doesn't so why is it here? Remove all references to topics that do not relate directly to you.

Think about more important information about you instead of the majority of trivial references you make in this list. For example, there is no need for the reviewer to know how long your relationship has been on. That has nothing to do with your character, talents, and other unique abilities that have the potential to help you change the Duke student landscape. Think, what about me can make me a standout student on campus? Then start working on your list.

Now, make sure to present the list in chronological order. Also, don't forget to group the listing according to priority. So, start with your family background, then your friends, your interests, your talents, your abilities, and so on, and so forth. If you list everything by group, you can pick out your top 5 per group and then use that to fill your list.

My advice might change depending upon the actual prompt but I think it will vary only a little and we are on the right track if you decide to follow my suggestions. I can adjust the directions as soon as I know the actual prompt requirements. I hope you can post it soon.

@Holt, Sorry about the usage part, I am current applying Duke Fuqua MMS program, and one of its essay requirement is a list of 25 random list. Here you go

The "Team Fuqua" spirit and community is one of the things that set the Fuqua experience apart, and it is a concept that extends beyond the student body to include faculty, staff, and administration. When a new person joins the Admissions Team, we ask that person to share with everyone in the office a list of '25 Random Things About Yourself.' As an Admissions team, we already know the new hire's professional and academic background, so learning these '25 Random Things' helps us get to know someone's personality, background, special talents, and more.

In this spirit, the Admissions Committee also wants to get to know YOU - beyond the professional and academic achievements listed in your resume and transcript. You can share with us important life experiences, your likes/dislikes, hobbies, achievements, fun facts, or anything that helps us understand what makes you who you are.

Hey Rolland, thanks for getting back to me so soon. It seems that your essay is almost right on the mark. It is important that we whittle it down to the most relevant information about you, in relation to the expectations of the prompt. Like I said, you should not make reference to Duke in the list since they want to know about you and any reference to Duke in the essay could be considered simply sucking up. Specially when you say "Go Duke!", it just sounds too cheesy and forced. The reference to Starbucks, make sure you complete the information by telling the reader what that single sentence description is. Otherwise, it leaves the reader hanging. The information about about the stock market, your being the first to get into Duke MMS in your family, the Duke Chapel, and how you will be in Durham when your friends will be elsewhere, are not really the kind of information that will help your list. Review my advice above and try to follow the suggested listing. You should see a big difference between the two lists almost immediately.

@Holt
Thanks a lot for helping me out, I am currently revising the entire essay and hopefully it will finish soon. I will upload the new one as soon as I am done.

1.I was born and raised in Taizhou, a small town located in southeastern coast of China, which makes my childhood full of fresh seafood and plenty of chances to swim.

2.It's funny that we commonly use three languages to chat in my family at the same time including Mandarin, English and local dialect as both of my parents are fluent English speakers.

3.My father was so busy when I was a child that he was always unable to be with my family during Spring Festival, the most important traditional festival in China until I was 12, which left me the responsibility to take care of mom since childhood as she knows nothing but teaching high school English.

4.My Dad has two brothers, both of whom had only one girl while my mom has got two sisters who all gave birth to a boy, making me the only connection between the two big families.

5.My star sign is cancer, representing a primary focus on family and a strong perseverance of insisting in something I believe, such as being a father in the future for I utterly like kids.

6.I enjoyed the experience of being a uncle as early as 12 when the oldest cousin of mine had a son that year. Though I liked that kid so much, he kept crying t whenever I held him, which is a puzzle I am still confusing.

7.I don't know about others, but I am quite proud to have several great friends who would go through fires and water for me if needed.

8.I haven't seen my two best friends in person for almost a year due to tight schedules of all the internships. Fortunately, we will meet this Christmas back in my hometown as everyone is coming home this year.

9.I am absolutely crazy about The News Room, the HBO episodes written by Aaron Sorkin discussing Morality and commercialization of Journalism which from my perspective, are the best TV series I've ever seen. I have literally watched the entire 3 seasons for five times !!!

10.Do not doubt the seriousness of me being a huge supporter of Houston Rockets, I can recall nearly every game in the playoffs over last three seasons, although I was heartbroken when heard Dwight Howard was leaving the team several months ago.

11.I've formed a hobby of collecting Basketball sneakers since primary school, which has been complained by my mom all the time as I took up 90% place of our cabinet and still wanted more!

12.Never test my resistance towards bolognaise spaghetti, I failed it every time！
13.My favorite book stays as The Island for years, a debut novel by Victoria Hislop, the story of four generation Petrakis women which always reminds me to be the savior of my own life, never complaining, never giving up.

14.I a fanboy of Apple products, from the oldest Ipod to the brand new MacBook Pro, I've got myself fully of Apple's devices around.

15.I've always been dreaming about driving Life Cycle like Garrett Hedlund did in Tron: Legacy with a girl sitting in my back seat, as sunrise shines. (Anyone?)

16.I was obsessed with Cartoon as a child with the favorite one being Slamdunk, which I believe plenty of striplings do share with me.
17.Can anyone state the differences between the Espresso, Latte and Cappuccino served in Starbucks in one sentence? I do. Cappuccino equals Latte with some sugar and cream while Latte could be easily accomplished from Espresso with a bit of milk.

18.I said ambitiously to my teacher at kindergarten that I want to be a professional basketball player or a F-1 racer, if both did not strike out, I may consider doing business, now I wish I had said the other way around.

19.I haven't got my driving license yet and it is mainly because my mother knows I am born to drag driving, but the thing she doesn't know is that I've been secretly driving my dad's car for more than 10 times when I was fifteen.

20.The best wine I ever tasted is a bottle of Riesling with citrus fruit flavor that I bought in Adelaide, Australia. (Year, I am more like a girl when it comes to wine).

21.The longest and the worst flight I've ever taken lasting about 16 hours which was from Shanghai to a city southeastern in America while transited in Dallas.

22.I was one of the few candidates who were both selected by PwC LEAP and KPMG Elite program among thousands of applicants in Shanghai last year.

23.The most impressive church I've ever visited is Notre Dame de Paris, although Victor Hugo should take most of the credit of it.
24.I've been to seven countries ranging four continents, leaving Africa the remaining one to explore. And among all the cities I've been to, the best one to live the rest of one's life, from my perspective, is Melbourne, not only owing to the graceful sceneries nearby but the pleasing pace of life.

25.Upon graduation from college, five my good friends from high school and I will be everywhere on the earth, one in France, one in Beijing, one in London, one in Sydney, one back to our hometown and hopefully, I will be in Durham, NC.

@Holt I've cut several unrelated ones and about the final on referencing Duke, I think it is the appropriate way to end the essay as I went through all the lists post by Duke MMS directors and Current students, it is 100 percent a negative move if you include some info regarding the School or the program.

please kindly refer to blogs.fuqua.duke.edu/duke-mms/tag/25-random-things

Thanks again for your help, I really appreciate it.

Rolland, let's focus on fixing the grammar problems in essay by the number. I'll be posting the suggested corrections :

6. It is not right to say that "which is still a puzzle I am confusing." Say instead, that "it is still a confusing puzzle to me."

7 and 8. Although it refers to your friends, doesn't really tell the reviewer something about you in relation to your friends. You can limit your friends to a single number in the list if you want. Provided your friends say something about you. Maybe say something about the kind of friend you are or a character, or trait that they admire about you. That way we keep the focus of the friendship on something unique about you as a person.

9. Say that you have watched the series 5 times instead of "for 5 times".
12. Should be "I fail every time. "
13. My all time favorite book is...
14. I am a fanboy...
15. Remove the question (Anyone?)
16. Cartoon should be written as "cartoons"
17. ... While latte can be made from...
19. Say obsessed with drag racing.
20. (Yes, I am more ...)
21. ... taken lasted about 16 ...
22. ...was selected for both...

Rolland, thanks for the link. I did warn you about mentioning the university in any way, shape or form in this list right? Refer to my previous advice for your reference. I am glad you found information that backed up my recommendation.

@Holt

Your advices have been really helpful. Thanks again.