polio experience spurred my interest in public health
"Just two drops," one of the aid workers said, as she coaxed my cousin's mouth open and administered the oral polio vaccine. Because most of the residents in my mother's refugee camp were unvaccinated, community aid workers visited on a regular rotation. They went knocking from door to door across the camp until, one day, they landed on our doorstep.
Ducking into our house to escape the brutal heat, they wasted no time pressing the importance of the vaccine. Pointing to my cousin, one warned my aunt that should she get infected, she could become permanently paralyzed. I watched as they engaged my aunt and quickly allayed her fears. Eventually, my aunt acquiesced and all five of her children were vaccinated.
This moment, as well as the vaccinators' subsequent visits, spurred my interest in public health. During my freshman year at ----, I co-founded our campus' chapter of ----, a student-led nonprofit that connects college students with grassroots health organizations and empowers them to address global health inequity hand in hand. We partnered with ----, an organization that supports women and children who, due to political instability, are either internally displaced in Burma or have fled to Thailand. During our first year, we funded Reproductive Health Training for community leaders from twenty-five villages across Burma & Thailand. Placing special focus on religious leaders, who were also working in the remote areas in the Eastern Shan State, we created a training module that would prepare the community representatives to educate their church groups. ---- aimed to motivate women to take measures that would prioritize their reproductive health through family planning supplies and services.
We also built a clinic in Mai Ja Yang, located in the south of ----. Burma's internally displaced population is unable to access the health care system, which would provide them with family planning services, pre- & post-natal care, and skilled birth attendants. The clinic not only supported the outreach health campaigns and reproductive health training but also acted as a daily maternal/child care clinic.
Working with the ---- women sparked my interest in sexual and reproductive health. The collaboration allowed me to see firsthand how a displaced population access to the public healthcare ecosystem. These women had recognized their urgent needs and organized to address them Acknowledging the importance of religion in Burmese society, they worked alongside religious figures to provide their services. (what fascinated me was that/i was fascinated by) They were more successful than international NGOs who failed to understand the multifaceted circumstances of their targeted population.
I wanted to further build on the remote work I'd done with ----, and explore that cultural interplaying between religion and health. maybe say something about how i'd also noticed that religion/health link when the aid workers came around the camp? Field experience would be a valuable learning tool in expanding my perspective. Therefore, I completed an internship with ----.
As a project manager, I created an outreach campaign to engage the ---- Church. ---- identified religion as a prominent social determinant of reproductive health, and sought the ---- endorsement because of his political clout. As such, the campaign aimed to reconcile ----'s services with ---- Catholic doctrine and institute policy change with the Church's support.
Responsible for developing ----'s strategic engagement, I worked with the Ministry of Health and utilized their records to delineate our approach. I analyzed their archives to outline our framework of engagement and accompanied the healthcare teams when they visited the remote rural villages. I was able to interview patients about their relationship with the Church, views on family planning, and use of ----'s services. Synthesizing my qualitative and quantitative research, I presented weekly proposal reports to my supervisor. The NGO ultimately utilized my engagement recommendations to establish a long-lasting partnership with the Church. A year after reaching a ----, the church endorsed ----'s family planning services. They supported both----'s service delivery and training for government service providers.
Through ----, I became interested in how policy and politics influence reproductive healthcare. To that end, I want to work with organizations to improve their health delivery systems. To be successful, I believe they need to fully incorporate the complexities of a country's populace into their mission. By reviewing current policies & analyzing their impact, I want to utilize the findings to present organizations with more cost-effective & sustainable delivery strategies that also lower patient barriers to care. An MPH is crucial to my success. The dynamic degree will develop my qualitative and quantitative skills while its versatility ensures a comprehensive education. [INSERT "WHY ___" PARAGRAPH]
Hey guys. I was told I needed to personalize this essay a bit more, especially the two work experiences I highlight in the essay. Apparently, it reads like an expansion of my resume, and I should balance listing out what I did in those experiences and to also capture what I learned. I thought I did that already so I'm kind of lost as to what else to add.
Would anyone be able to provide some concrete help and give me advice/feedback/suggestions on where/how I can do that?
It's unfortunately rather late in the game, as its due by midnight February 1st but anything and everything helps.
Thank you so much!!Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 SamY, the anecdote is too long. It is not something that actually helps to increase the interest in your essay because this is the story of your cousin. In fact, the essay would be better off if you did not include the anecdote at all. If you want to make this a properly informative statement of purpose, I suggest that you do the following revisions to your content.
1. Indicate what your current line of work is and how it is relevant to your interest in public health. Include relevant public health experience. Do not enumerate all of them, just include the top 2 most impressive experience that you can share.
2. Explain the specific public health problem that you hope to be able to address upon your MPH graduation.
3. Describe how the university you have chosen to attend can help you to attain your study objectives / study plans.
4. Discuss how you hope to apply what you have learned and in what manner upon graduation.
5. Conclude by reiterating your desire to attend the university. Strengthen your intention by indicating how you are interested in being mentored by certain professors or attending specific classes that you feel will best suit your academic intentions.
The SOP doesn't need to be as wordy and long as your current essay. It has to be kept short but informative. No more than 750 words at the most. That will make the essay informative and highlight your abilities as a professional and masters degree student.
