"My mom watched Power Puff girls with me" Statement of intent SVA - Computer ART

First, thank you for reading my SOP. This is the SOP I wrote for SVA Computer Animation Master Degree. I hope you can give me some comments~

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SVA Computer Animation Master Degree SOP

When I was a child, my mother would watch Mickey Mouse and the Power Puff girls with me. Since then, animation become an important prat of my life. After I got into college, I majored in Applied Art and I specialized in Computer Animation. I found out that animation is an amazing platform that can be used to covey various massages. Moreover, animation make things more understandable. Therefore, I want to become a 3D animator. It is my goal to enroll in the MFA Computer Art Program at School of Visual Art.

I studied in Applied Art in college and I choose to specialized in Computer Animation in my second year. I have done many projects with my classmates through out the 4 years. Cooperation is one of the most important things I have learned in college. In my second year, I had a course called Image and Music. In this class, we need to make a music video for group project. In the end, our project got good feedbacks. As the leader of the group, I learned how to manage our time and how to incorporate everyone's skills to run the project work smoothly. As the result, we received a high grade of 95 percent for the course. Through this experience, I learn how to cooperate with others for future projects.

In addition, I used to work at a children's art studio. I found out that cartoon definitely have a significant impact on children. Children not only watch cartoon for fun, they also learn and explore the world through animation. Therefore, I want to make story and animation that make children a magical and wonderful childhood. This will help making a better person when they grow up.

I have decided to apply to the MFA Computer Art Program at School of Visual Art for several reasons. First, I am really diligent in trying out new things and I have a great passion for creating animation. The courses in the Computer Art Program can assist me to improve my skills to create better works. For instance, I am very interested in the Character Animation course. Character Animation is like acting. I enjoy working on character animation because when I animate a character I feel like I become the character myself and I bring life to the model. Second, a lot of famous artists are the alumni of School of Visual Art which inspired me to become one of them. It would be an honor to join this outstanding team. Being able to study in School of Visual Art can definitely help me in achieving my goal. Therefore, I consider the master's program to be a very important part in my overall career path, and I am very grateful for your consideration of my application.

Annie, this is not a very effective statement of paper. The essay requires more emphasis on required elements and a more appropriate reference to influential points in your life. As a serious applicant, you are expected to rely on your professional experience as the basis of your interest in a masters degree in computer animation. The worst thing that you can do is reference a childhood experience in relation to Mickey Mouse and Power Puff girl cartoons that you watched with your mother. You could have simply said that a childhood fascination with cartoons led to a lifelong pursuit of animation and its ability to convey messages in a subliminal way. Somehow, you have to connect that statement with your desire to become a 3-D animator because you have not really introduced a basis for this interest nor how it connects with your current career. That is, I am assuming that you have actual work experience instead of just going from an undergraduate degree directly into a masters degree?

Anyway, a statement of purpose must indicate an actual reason for your application. As the term explains, the essay is about your purpose for study. Truth be told, there is no real professional reason indicated in this essay. You sound more like you are writing a personal statement instead of a statement of purpose. There is no motivation, no purpose, no reason for your interest in 3-D animation. There have been other students here to applied for the same masters course and have also written an SOP for it. You should read some of the samples here and pattern you SOP on their work. I think you are more focused on showing off your academic skills instead of your professional skills, which makes the essay ill effective as an SOP. Try to focus on the following when you revise the essay:

1. Present an idea as to what your current profession is, how it relates to animation, and why you feel that you need to gain a masters in 3-D animation.

2. From that presentation, define the purpose for your study. What do you hope to gain by achieving this masters degree? How will it change your career path or how do you hope to set a trail for a new 3-D animation process in the future.

3. Summarize your college experience by highlighting your awards and recognition. From what I have read, you do not have any achievements to speak of so concentrate on highlighting your participation in your final class project instead.

4. From there, discuss how your professional and academic experiences combined to set the foundation for your study in this course. Specifically, how these traits tie-in with your choice of university . Make sure that you emphasize your preparedness to attend these classes and how you hope the university can help to enhance your already existing skills through specific mentors or programs.

5. Close with a description of how you think your career will progress once you have completed this course. Where do you see your career taking you soon after you graduate? Are you looking forward to a promotion or perhaps, working at a specific animation studio?

Use the guide questions above for your revised essay. First, make sure you read the samples on this site in relation to your interest in animation. Their applications might be able to help you develop a better essay along with the guidance I provided you in your own thread.

@Holt
Thank you Holt
Your feedback is really helpful for my SOP!!
I will try to read more sop and try more.