My Motivation Letter to a Fellowship Admission (pharmaceutical industry)

Dear member,

I am new to this website and I am eager to pursue my postgraduate study abroad. I really hope, anyone can suggest me on my motivation letter below. Thanks before. Lisa

I found myself as a young girl with full interest in Microbiology. In my childhood, I never knew what I really want to do in my life. But, when I come into the Microbiology class on the fourth semester of my undergraduate program, I realize that this subject is going to be my future and I want to dedicate my life in science. I become a motivated person and have many dreams that I should gain in my life as a scientist.

Microbiology soon becomes a major and fascinating topic in my life. At the following year, I decided to do a final project in medical microbiology, entitled "xxxxxx". It was an invaluable moment to do something that I really want. At one time, I faced an unusual situation. After reading many journals and books, I feel like living in a different world, full of fantasy about bacteria and how someday human beings will be able to talk with them. It was an unbelievable and invaluable moment and I always want to have it again.

I have finished my project well, but I am not satisfied yet with what I did. Many questions have arrived in my head and need to figure out soon. The most important question was I found that many multi-drug resistances occur on Gram-negative bacteria due to the biofilm formation. This overview had taken me into a deeper curiosity of bacterial communication which is become major interest as stated on my personal webpage, xxxx.com. I believe I am able to help my community on reducing multi-drug resistance occurrence by studying about bacterial communication on pathogenic organisms and this lead me to continue on my postgraduate study.

On behalf of my plan to conduct research specialized in bacterial communication, I found an excellent opportunity to join with XXXX University under Professor XXXX supervision. I have read two of his articles, published on Journal of Clinical Microbiology and Molecular Microbiology and I can conclude that I have the same interest with him in a perspective that biofilm formation, represent the communication form of bacteria (i.e. quorum sensing) affected the antimicrobial susceptibility of meningococci. I really hope I can work with and help him to revealed any unknown genomes or mechanism that is related to the biofilm formation.

I believe that my strong scientific research background and my clear understanding of basic microbiology concepts and method will help me to be a good assisstant.

Currently, I am working as a scientist on Microbiology Department in a pharmaceutical industry. I am also doing researches and become an active member on an international online scientific forum, The Pharmaceutical Microbiology Forum and member of Sci.Bio.Microbiology group. I have gained helpful experience for my research and further study by having discussions with many professionals.

I am a young, creative, hardworking, and motivated individual who believes that I can do something for the benefit of my environment to which I am staying.

Furthermore, I am confident that I can do much better if I am trained and developed through a PhD program under Professor XXXXX, specialized in biofilm formation of Neisseria meningitidis at XXXX University.

Hi Lisa,

I can see that you are a very methodical thinker. I often recommend to people that they should mention the names of specific professors and resources at the school. At the end, you mention the name of a prof, but I think you should also mention some accomplishments or articles by that prof so that the reader knows you are not just "name dropping" in a meaningless way. For example, I would really like to learn from Fritjof Capra because of his work combining ancient mysticism and modern physics. Maybe the teacher whose name you are mentioning has some accomplishment that are aligned with your SPECIFIC interests in the field of microbiology.

Now... you have to work on using te past tense for verbs:

In my childhood, I never knew what I really want to do in my life. But, when I came into the Microbiology class in the fourth semester of my undergraduate program, I realized that this subject is going to be my future, and I wanted to dedicate my life in science. I became a motivated person and have many dreams that I should gain in my find my purpose in life as a scientist.

Microbiology soon became a major and fascinating topic in my life. At the following year, I decided to do a final project in medical microbiology, entitled "xxxxxx". It was an invaluable moment to do something that I really want. At one time, I faced an unusual situation. After reading many journals and books, I feel like living in a different world, full of fantasy about bacteria and how someday human beings will be able to talk with them. It was an unbelievable and invaluable moment and I always want to have it again. (you already said it was invaluable)

I believe I am able to help my community in reducing multi-drug resistance occurrence by studying about bacterial communication in pathogenic organisms and this lead me to continue on my postgraduate study.------> good! how can the prof you mention help with that. Cite some of her work.

On behalf Trying to enact my plan to conduct research specialized in bacterial communication, I found Good!!

Oh, I see that you mentioned that the prof specializes in biofilm formation of Neisseria meningitidis, so I was wrong earlier. You DID tell why this prof is a good mentor for you. Has se written any articles that you can cite?

Sorry it took me so long to get to your post! It's impressive! One way to improve your writing is to notice that you often use "on" in places where you should use "in." On a day when you are not busy, look at the uses of "on" and "in" in some well-written literature to study them.

:-)

Kevin,

Thanks a lot for your corrections. You really help me improving my English skills.

Lisa