Please help me to improve my essay . I don't know how to brief my SOP (statement of purpose ).
Being my father a musician caused me to familiarize with the XXX music instrument since childhood, and those days I always had the question in my mind that "how is it possible that such tender and beautiful voices are produced only by a piece of wood and some wires?" there were no cogent answers for the above questions until I enrolled in high school. When my physics teacher was talking about the physics of sounds, I felt so surprised that I found the answer of one of my childhood questions. So I found the right direction of my thoughts finding out that my mind has been looking for a science concepts named as physics since childhood. Therefore, I chose the major of mathematics and physics in high school. My interest in physics placed me as the first students in the class and school.
After accomplishing high school, I was enrolled in physics field for undergraduate studies in XXXX University . Due to my will in using extra sources and professors, I attended the some extra physics classes in XXXX University . During the under graduation I have done many extracurricular; I established the page of "physics and music" in the specialized student journal of physics named XXX, which was introduced as the best student journal for two successive years. Also, I was a major member of the scientific center of physics which one of its activities was executing professional conferences in physics. For many extracurricular activities, I received to citation from the University and was between the best five students of physics.
In those years, I had searched a lot about different fields of physics and I found that I like condensed matter physics and nanotechnology more than the other fields. In 2009, I got accepted in the XXXX University which is second ranked in nanotechnology between the universities of XXX. Since the number of the students that were interested in nanotechnology was more than the capacity of the university, we had to attend a competition. I won in that competition and I became one of the Prof. XXXX's student, one of the professors in nanotechnology. Also I was allowed by my supervisor to participate in choosing the thesis subject.With the help of Prof. XXXX as my second supervisor, we investigated about "XXXXX" by using the computational package of Quantum ESPRESSO which is under the Density Functional Theory (DFT). The results were novel and have been presented in the international conference of nanostructures in XXXX which is going to be published in XXXXXX.
Since I believe that for progressing in any field, one must be familiar with the required tools, I attended the course of Density Functional Theory (DFT) thought by Prof. XXXX. Due to my attendance in the course, I accomplished two simulation projects using the two computational softwares WIEN2k and ESPRESSO under supervision of XXXX. In addition, for my interest in issues of Molecular Dynamics (MD), I learned about the computational package of DL_POLY. Since the computations were done with operating system of LINUX, I thoroughly learned how to network the LINUX systems and install the required programs for parallel executing of the programs .
For my abilities in installing and running the programs and the computational packages of ESPRESSO and WIEN2k, and the Density Functional Theory, I presented several seminars and workshops for PhD students of Dr. XXXX.
After graduation from master, I did not cut my studies and research and studied some new systems such as XXXX which ended to a paper with the title of "XXXXX" presented in the conference of "XXXXX" and chosen as the best poster in the conference.
Beside my interest in research, I liked teaching since childhood. During my undergraduate studies in XXX university , I was a teacher assistant in Electromagnetism in the electronic faculty. Since 2011 up now, I have been teaching courses, such as mechanics, electromagnetism and basic laboratories in XXXX university and XXXX University . Also, I have been chosen as an administrator of physics section of XXXX Institute .
My friends have been one of the most important issues in all periods of my life and in my progress. I really like team-work and group projects, however others prefer to work individually. I always have believed that a group project, exchanges individuals experiments, such materials that never can be written in books or taught in classes. In a team-work one has an opportunity not only to experience more works but also to have pleasure by teaching and learning.
With all said above, and based on my affections and abilities, I believe that XXXX is a very good opportunity for me to elevate my knowledge in solid state condensed matter and achieving my main goal which is perusing my graduate studies as a doctoral student (Ph.D) in a prominent university. Also, based on my awareness about my potencies, I am sure that if selected I will be one of the best in XXXX and my enterprise beside your prominent scientific staff and programs will help me to become successful in my plans.
My ultimate goal is to become a researcher. I believe my success in this path would be the best acknowledgment that I can offer to all my teachers, mentors, and particularly to my parents, who have supported me throughout my life.
It seems like you are trying to combine music with Physics. Great idea, it will make your essay really unique however, it is really hard to read even one sentence. You have way too many grammatical errors packed into this essay for anyone to read it properly. You start off the essay by stating "Being my father a musician caused me to familiarize ," that should be 'With my father being a musical," or "Coming from family filled with musicians." For you to be a successful applicant at an English speaking University, this essay needs to be heavily edited. -AAO
Hope this helps.