Hello everybody!
I am planning to apply for M.Sc in Petroleum Engineering and below is my personal statement. Please help to check and suggest any correction for my essay to help me on my application.
Personal Statement - by Arsenij Fiodorov
As part of education at the Admiral Makarov State University of Maritime and Inland Shipping on speciality Jurisprudence in 2013, I attended an international conference on Economic and Social Development. On the conference was touched the issue that the world's most of the "easy oil" has already been extracted - oil that can be produced cheaply because it is onshore, close to the surface, and how it will affect the global economy. The only way is that in the future, oil will increasingly have to be extracted from hard recoverable reserves. It was at this moment when this issue engaged (allured) my attention. I came to the conclusion that oil and gas are the cornerstones of the impetuous progress in the technological development. However, that brought about another realisation of the increasing human dependence on fossil energy. These simple, yet fundamental conclusions determined the final and irrevocable choice of profession and changing the profile of education to the Oil and Gas Engineering.
For satisfying my newfound passion in engineering and energy, in 2013, I decided to pursue my bachelor study at the St. Petersburg Mining University, Russia's oldest technical college, and one of the best technical institutions in engineering in Europe. Mining University boasts itself to have highly experienced professors and well-equipped research laboratories.
According to the British Department for Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy, oil and gas will play a key role in powering the UK's future economy. The ongoing dominance of oil in the rapidly expanding vehicle market just now reaching into developing Asia. Another long-term trend is lowering production costs, and to remain competitive, oil companies need to reduce their production costs. As follows from the above, oil and natural gas will continue to be a significant part of our future. At university, I realised that more and more emphasis must be given on old oil fields optimisation and improvement on oil recovery from heavy oil reservoirs. To help achieve this goal, the extension of Enhanced Oil Recovery (EOR) applying will be essential. This encourages myself to master my skill further, especially in EOR, by pursuing a Master of Science in this particular area.
My current degree program at the Mining University is focused on theoretical and mathematical knowledge. This elevated my numerical and technical skills to a level that ignited my research and analytical interest. At present, I am doing substantial research in well and reservoir engineering. It focuses on the technological effectiveness of the radial drilling to recover hydrocarbons in a cost effective manner, taking into account associated technical and non-technical risks. Additionally, I am doing research and analysis of fluids flow to the radially drilled wells. Moreover, I am concurrently preparing for two national scientific-technical conferences as a speaker. In addition to my current studies, I am constantly involved in self-learning. I gained professional qualification Oil and Gas Production Operator. My dedication and proactive approach helped me to become one of the 10 best students in our batch out of 78 students.
In addition to my academic knowledge, I enhanced my industry related skills through the Internship in Slavenft-Megionneftegaz, one of the largest top ten oil companies in Russia, on the Uzun oil field where I got an opportunity to grasp real engineering problems, develop a hands-on approach to problem solving and had a chance to apply the theory in practice. It was here where I developed the ability to look at problems from different perspectives and learnt the ability to work in tight cooperation with people from different backgrounds. I was among three students who received a job offer from the company.
Through the period of my education, I studied dozen professor Martin Blunt's works on fluid flow in porous media to write my term paper on the subject Subsurface Oil Hydromechanics. I am familiar with the program, which is more aimed at Reservoir Engineering. I look forward to attending course Reservoir Performance Prediction led by the professor Martin Blunt as this course describes how different analytical methods can be used to identify the principal mechanisms controlling the performance of producing reservoirs and to assess the development potential of oil and gas reservoirs. I would like to express a specific interest in becoming a Research Assistant during my study. It would be an honour for me if I could be involved in PERM group.
During my visit to London, I met with the graduates of the Imperial College and other British petroleum engineering universities. They all agreed on one thing, that the Imperial College provides the highest quality, personalised education and they pursued advanced theoretical and practical education with a global-standard curriculum that meets industrial needs. I find it very important for me to continue my studies in an intellectual environment with highly equipped laboratories and active research groups led by well-known scientists, where I can widen my perspective with up-to-date technology, especially in EOR application. Considering all these facts, I am certain that the MSc programme in Petroleum Engineering at the Imperial College London will empower me to broaden my knowledge further as my ultimate goal is to raise my level of expertise in Petroleum Engineering and become an efficient and highly experienced EOR expert.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Arsnij, the first 3 paragraphs of this essay sound more like it should be included in a research paper instead of a personal statement. Your essay will in fact, be better and improved if you just remove those technical information, and just let your own personal thoughts, as reflected in the second paragraph, become the opening statement of your essay.
While I understand that you were quite influenced by the information you learned at the conference and the results of the research you did, you must present those in a more personal manner if you wish to still use it in this paper. Rather than discussing the conference of the results of articles you read, make the information come across as a realization that you came to while you were dong your job. That way, you create a personal, rather than academic connection with the M. Sc. course you wish to pursue. Realizing something on your own creates a more informed, dedicated, and advocated learner rather than someone who just came to the conclusion based on the beliefs or advice of other people.
Your personal statement should reflect your voice, interests, and aspirations for wishing to complete the M. Sc. studies and that really comes through starting with the second and succeeding paragraphs. You have to delete the unnecessary portions so that the essay will be better reflective of your personal beliefs and ideas regarding Petroleum Engineering. The more complicated and relevant information about your desire to attend the university will be better presented, developed, and discussed in your statement of purpose. Which is a different essay altogether.
