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Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reduce traffic accident



Pheobe 1 / -  
Mar 20, 2020   #1

high penalty for driving offenses



TOPIC: Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reduce traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, we have seen an alarming increase in the number of road accidents. While some people think that the government should apply heavy punishment for traffic violations, I would argue that it is better to implement other ways to make the road safer.

The option to impose a harsh sentence for driver offences offers some benefits. The drivers tend to be worry about facing a higher finance penalty or even losing their licenses for a longer time. For this reason, a severe fine could affect on drivers' safe road behavior and eventually improve compliance with traffic law. To take Vietnam as an illustration, no longer after the Decree 100 which fines up to highest level for drunk drivers issued in 2019, the number of fatal crashes dramatically decline.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more effective to promote road safety by developing other methods. Firstly, the government should spend a financial support on improving transport infrastructure. For example, only when warning signs are designed and installed along highways are drivers able to recognise the front potential road dangers. By this way, the drivers could minimize the risk of causing any road traffic crashes. Secondly, launching of safe traffic advertising campaigns on some means of media is also an ideal way to ensure road safety. Not only do these advertising allow viewers to get more knowledge of traffic law but they also raise more awareness of safe traffic. An example here is Cananda, double of safe traffic program broadcast on Radio is associated with a significant decrease in the number of traffic violations on 2019. This example makes it clear why government should run more such advertising to encourage public awareness about road safety.

In conclusion, although a sufficiently high penalty could deter dangerous driving from committing traffic violation, I believe that there are plenty of other methods which is much better to tackle this problem.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15458  
Mar 20, 2020   #2
You forgot to count the discussion topics before you wrote the prompt restatement. This is a comparison of points of view prior to personal opinion essay. This is not solely a personal opinion presentation. Therefore, your prompt restatement, in relation to the TA score will reflect that your response is only partially correct. What with the 3 reasoning paragraph becoming only 2 personal points of view presentations, the reviewer will immediately spot that you either did not understand the discussion instructions or, you totally disregarded the instructions as provided. Either way, your TA score will be the lowest possible based on this response error.

The discussion should have taken on the following format in the reasoning paragraphs:
- Severe punishment for offenses
- alternative punishments
- personal opinion based on the aforementioned discussions

The first 2 paragraphs in the reasoning section should have used public reference words such as groups, people, advocates, supporters, detractors, oppositionists, and other words that indicate a reference to an alternate point of view in the paragraphs would have helped clarify the discussion. Based on what I have read, you did not develop either discussion side properly because you tried to compress an illogical opinion for the two points of view into one paragraph. There is a reason each side has one paragraph each allotted. You must clearly explain the point of view using personal knowledge, examples from your knowledge or experience, and personal reasons or observations. None of which were accurately represented in the discussion paragraphs.

These are the very same reasons why your concluding summary is in error as well. You need to rephrase the discussion paragraphs in that presentation. Summarize the discussion topic (again, different from the opening paraphrase), public points of view, your opinion, and a proposed solution or solution that you support at the end of the paragraph to close the essay.


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