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A person is privileged to have been born healthy; PTCAS (Physical Therapy)



maksimka92 1 / 1  
Mar 11, 2013   #1
Describe your decision making process in choosing physical therapy as a career choice versus other health care careers.

I was introduced to Physical Therapy upon arrival to The United States. My sister, Sonya, who has recently turned 8 years old, was diagnosed with a rare Aicardi syndrome. She is dislexic, disabled, and needs to be taken care of all the time.

"Health is Wealth", and I have a great faith in this saying. In my opinion, if a person is born healthy is, then that person is privileged. For me, observing a disabled person develop through childhood has become a daily struggle that has affected my family in many ways. In my native country, Ukraine, physical therapy is not a common practice. Physically or mentally impaired children are typically neglected and carry a "title" of being punished by God for their parents misbehavior or negative actions throughout their lives. As for my sister, It is practically impossible for her to develop into a healthy adolescent. However, "impossible'' is not a word in my dictionary and everything we do for her is for the better.

We have found great help at a Pediatrics Rehab Center where she was assigned to Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and a Speech Pathologist to improve her development. This new hope has to be the main reason why I've chosen the career of becoming a physical therapist. I understand how desperate the parents are to seek help for a child who is, for example, bound to a wheelchair and who needs constant care. There's nothing more satisfying than knowing I will be able to help those parents in the development of their child with certain problems. My interest in Physical Therapy grew with the limitless hours at the Rehab center where I've observed therapists work with my sister. Most of the time,she is my child and it is my duty as a caretaker to help my parents to get my sister healthier and function better in the future.

In the future, my main goal as a prospective student is to learn and be part of the team of Physical therapists that help disabled people to be able to function better in this world. I acknowledge the fact that there will be struggles, obstacles, and hardships in achieving my goals because physical therapy requires patience, practice, and most of all understanding. Knowing that I'd be able to make a difference in somebody's life, would be in itself the greatest achievement I can be proud of.

PArachel 1 / 8  
Mar 11, 2013   #2
Hey! Great so far! Here are a few things you could maybe change:
1. In my opinion, if a person is born healthy is, then that person is privileged.
change to "In my opinion, if a person is born healthy, then that person is privileged."
2. Physically or mentally impaired children are neglected most of the time
maybe change to "Physically or mentally impaired children are typically neglected.."
3. upon arrival to The United States
change to "upon my arrival to The United States"
4. Add comma
She is dislexic, disabled, and needs to be taken care of all the time
5. It is practically impossible for such kids to develop into a healthy adolescent
6. who is "we" in "everything we do is for the better"
7. parent's to parents
8. change The interest in the Physical Therapy profession grew with the limitless to "My interest in ..."
Check to make sure most of your sentences are in the same tense - past/present and active/passive.
Hope this helps!
OP maksimka92 1 / 1  
Mar 11, 2013   #3
Thank you for your help :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 16, 2013   #4
In my opinion, if a person is born healthyis , then that person is privileged.

.... I have a suggestion :)
"Health is Wealth", and I have a great faith in this saying.

For me, observing a disabled person develop through childhood has become a daily struggle that has affectedmy family in many ways.

... you better elaborate on this family experience. For me, it sounds as the core of your story. Tell that you have been a part of this struggle and that influenced you to get into this field and do something about it.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 30, 2013   #5
"Health is Wealth", and I have a great faith in this saying.

... I think you better start your essay with this line. Then tell how you were introduced to physical therapy and so on.

God for their parents' misbehavior or negative actions throughout their lives.

However, "impossible'' is not a word in my dictionary and everything we do for her is for the better.

... hey.... this sounds a bit arrogant :D
....This is what I suggest;
However, I never want to give in for the word "impossible" and want to do everything possible for her to recover.

This new hope has to be the main reason why I've chosen the career of becoming a physical therapist.

This new hope nurtured my interest in "Physical Therapy" and I gradually developed a passion for this field.


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