I feel like I have the correct idea but I have too many details on too many subjects and I was looking for help to focus the content.
The prompt is "Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to pursue the profession of physical therapy?"
My essay:
I am 28 years old, I hold a bachelors degree in finance and I am the would be successor of my family's financial planning business. Physical therapy has Not been my lifelong dream. To be quite honest, physical therapy and what it means to be a physical therapist have been foreign concepts to me much of my life. So what am I doing writing an essay that is to accompany my application to physical therapy school?
One thing has become clear since graduating college; to be happy and fulfilled by my career I must love it. I am not "in love" with finance. Pursuing the degree made logical sense because I would one day inherit my family's financial planning business, Personal Wealth Advisory, LLC (PWA), as a result. Regrettably, I had entered into a state of Identity Foreclosure, a concept established by developmental psychologist James Marcia. He stated "an individual enters identity foreclosure when one conforms to expectations regarding their future without exploring a range of options" and I had done just that. I started as an independent contractor, building my own financial planning practice, and eventually joined my family's business after I proved to myself I could stand on my own. While my journey in financial planning did not start with my family's firm it is where it will end. My experiences in the world of finance have taught me the value of hard work, leader ship, entrepreneurship, building repore, and accountability. All of which can be applied to achieve success in physical therapy.
However, no matter how successful my endeavors, I have never truly been fulfilled by financial planning. I attribute this to lack of desire, passion, and "love" for the field. My true love is physical therapy; I was just unaware of this fact. My love of physical therapy has been disguised, in one form or another, for nearly eight years first presenting itself my sophomore year of college. I was a mediocre student, the couch had become my best friend, and I was 50lbs overweight. I stood before my dresser, Swiss Army knife in hand, poking the second "extra" hole into my size 36inch belt (a moment that became the impetus to change eventually leading me to physical therapy). Soon after I established two goals, one was to lose weight and the other, graduate Magna Cum Laude. Neither accomplishment would come easy. It took drive, determination, and sacrifice to reach these aspirations. The task required that I, over the next four semesters, receive A's in all of my classes except for one, give up partying, change my unhealthy diet, and invest a substantial amount time exercising. The result: I graduated Magna Cum Laude, a semester early, with a Bachelor of Science degree in finance, weighing a healthy 195lbs, 50lbs less than before. I had now learned the basics of nutrition, exercise, and established previously nonexistent study habits. Through my pursuits in physical fitness the love affair, that would eventually lead me to physical therapy, began.
Although, exercise and the study of the human body had gradually become my passion, I maintained they were merely hobbies and it seemed unlikely they would ever become more. That is, until I discovered triathlon. Five years ago I began competing in triathlons and I soon became obsessed with the sport, resulting in the study of training books depicting subjects such as exercise physiology, strength and conditioning, and injury prevention. I began searching for opportunities that would allow triathlon to be integrated into my professional life. Through research I found that physical therapy not only focuses on rehabilitation, but on injury prevention and performance enhancement as well. All of which are essential to the traithlete. As physical therapist I believed could build a practice that focuses on overuse injuries specific to triathlon, while helping treat other patient populations. My love for physical therapy had finally manifested itself.
A
lthough financial planning and physical therapy appear unrelated they share many similarities. Both are about serving others, require compassion, and help helping individuals reach goals. The differences are, physical therapy involves maintenance of the human body and requires physical work, two missing components in financial planning. I believe my life experiences have led me to this field and now I can't imagine being anything else. I believe in physical therapy and know I can put my heart and soul into my work, finally filling the void that previously existed.
and I am the would be
Typo
has Not been m
Unnecessary capitalization
So what am I doing writing an essay that is to accompany my application to physical therapy school?
Ha ha, this is interesting. Nice...
Use colon instead:
college: to be happy..
My true love is physical therapy; I was just unaware of this fact.--- nice!! This makes a great theme for the essay. I encourage you to learn about many therapies... hydrotherapy, trigger point work, Japanese Sotai, Shiatsu, craniosacral therapy... NLP... there is a lot to learn, all awesome...therapeutic exercise...
Typo:
All of which are essential to the traithlete.
Both are about serving others, require compassion, and help helping individuals reach goals. --very good point!! I with you would write this earlier in the essay instead of at the end.
