I am seeking admission to PhD in bioinformatics of MIT. I have no confident that my writing is good enough. I am posting the statement of purpose here. Kindly go through the same n correct it.
It is about 800 words
Statement of purpose
The work of Science is to innovate, rather than employment and the work of bioinformatics is to create other than a tool user. These words are what I concluded from the past and pursued in the upcoming years of research. I have been interested in how our body aging from childhood when seeing the difference between my parents and grandparents. I know that was caused by undiscovered changes in genomics as my knowledge of biology increased. Moreover witness investigations of unearthing the latent mechanisms from experimental data by developing software, algorithms and mathematics models from published papers, brought me the aesthetics of the subject and inspired me to reveal the mechanisms of phenomes in life as a bioinformatics researcher. In order to achieve this goal I pursue a doctoral training in Xxx University.
Though I started programming by an accidental chance at high school, I can never forget the excitement when I finish my first project. And from then I devote my high school life into programing, debugging, and learning knowledge of computer science and mathematics. The process was rugged, however, also I loved most when endeavoring to work out solutions to problems, make programs work and get a deeper comprehension of the knowledge. In addition, these experiences enabled me to begin my research career in bioinformatics at the second year of undergraduate study.
After enrolled into the laboratory, numbers of challenges comes to me such as which model should be applied for the datasets, how to evaluate the result gained by the method, how to write a paper and etc. Though these dilemmas quite depress me for a period, fortunately facilitated by seeking and reading quantities of high level journal such as nature, nature biotechnology, nuclear acid research, bioinformatics, and etc. from which I acquired a lot of developed pipelines, online resource, and software and get motivated to develop them in the future. Several month later I surmount the dilemma, become able to design experiments, select appropriate methods to analyze datasets for some omics assays, make predictions using mathematics models. For instance once I employed Support Vector Machine to generate a human global protein-protein network (PPI) based on kinds of biology evidence, and predicted the pathway of a protein target which cause autophagy and is the first time discovered in our research.
From the second of year my research career, I become not contented with the investigations simply applying the existed bioinformatics method to our datasets, to me it sounds like a machine rather than a researcher of bioinformatics. I tried to think of every research project I participate in or learned from papers in a critical way to seek out what can I do for facilitating and improving them and discuss my ideas after thinking with my undergraduate supervisor and teacher of bioinformatics in a week period. These attempts greatly improved my academic perspectives, and inspired me to develop a fundamental tool for computer assist drug design which targeting to autophagy. The project was responsible for me and was carried by a small group, though experienced stacked and have been modified for several times, my precious that a lot. The project not only broadens my horizon on academic but provide me the necessary characteristics to be a research leader as well. In addition I participate in numbers of projects and published 10 papers related to bioinformatics, and 4 papers are listed as first author.
As a student born and educated in a non-English native speaking country. I should take TOEFL and reach the desired cutoff. However, I had to concentrate on my duties for my graduate supervisor from this fall semester. Given that he is a chemistry major, whose investigation was primarily focused on chemistry, his field was different from my interest and familiarity. Therefore, I decided to apply for a program to achieve my dream and started preparing for the TOEFL and GRE since August, 2016. The early deadlines, however, prevented me from taking the exams early. Nonetheless, I believe that by being given a one-month extension, I could reach the minimum requirement of the University and the project. If I would be admitted by the committee, I guarantee that I will achieve such requirements before enrolling in the fall 2017.
Overall, the xxx program in xxx attracts me by its emphasis on the creation and the goal it makes is coincident with mine. Moreover the recent research of Professor xxx of xxx is intriguing, and I look forward to joining his lab. The wonderful work of professor xxx, such as xxx, leaves me a great impression and inspires me to apply for the program. In addition, I possess a rich research experience, as showed by the collaborations in XXX. I believe the training at XXX plus my persisting effort will realize my dream of unearthing the mechanisms of life, assist my career of academic and be a vital figure in academic or industry one day.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,867 
4791 Xie, I am assuming that you already have more than 5 years of work experience. At the very least, a PhD student should have between 8-10 years professional experience either with on the job activities or related research work. I don't see Any reference to your post masters degree activities. Your statement of purpose should be reflective of your masters degree education, the way that you used that education in your line of work or research, and where you at at this current point in your career.
The PhD studies need to explain the next step of your career progression. That means that your studies should help you complete your current research or begin more advanced research in the field of bioinformatics. Your high school and college interests and education are irrelevant at this point. What the reviewer needs to learn from you is what you expect to learn about in post graduate school. Such information relates to your career progression and varying interests in the field. The presentation of these information will serve as the basis for your interest, desire, and need to complete your post graduate studies.
More to the point, delete the reference to the TOEFL test. It takes a whole paragraph in your essay without having any clear relation to your PhD quest. Yes, this exam is required for students applying to universities in America, but it does not relate to the necessary academic information you should be presenting in terms of your statement of purpose. Taking the TOEFL and passing is is not part of the purpose of your studies, but it is required by the university to prove your English language abilities. It is not important with regards to your academic accomplishments post masters degree studies.
You will need to revise the content of your essay. Shed light on the following topics only:
Your current career status
Your masters degree education (school, date of completion, name of course)
Your thesis paper presentation
Your reason for post graduate studies
Your possible dissertation project / paper
Why you believe this university can help you to complete your higher education objectives.
A reference to your short term career goals immediately upon graduation and a long term career plan related to your ideal career progression.
These are the only necessary information that should be included in this post graduate statement of purpose.
