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Pursuing a business analyst with optimized data-driven recommendation after MSBA at ABC University


PursuingBA 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2018   #1

MS in Business Analytics Personal statement + SOP in 500 words



Dear all, please review and comment about my personal statement and sop for msba. Really appreciate your help!

Here are questions:

The personal statement in its entirety should be no more than 500 words and should address the below questions. You may answer these questions in an essay format or in separate paragraphs.

Why are you interested in analytics? Furthermore, why are you applying to the program at ABC University?
What skills or abilities do you hope to strengthen during your time in the program?
Describe a trend that will influence analytics over the next 5 years?
What are your career goals after graduating from the program at ABC University?


Pursuing a business analyst with optimized data-driven recommendation after MSBA at ABC University

We are entering the Era of the Brain-Machine Interface. Machine is replacing human jobs, even making decision that was considered as the thing that only people could do. In other words, while traditional statistics helped people make a judgement with an average - a common characteristic by ignoring a small number of data -, machine itself makes an advanced decision by analyzing all kinds of data. As a Business double-majored student who has been highly interested in marketing, I became naturally intrigued and fascinated by Analytics through internships and Big Data education.

During my first internship at a marketing company, I managed various social media accounts. Especially with Facebook analytics tool, executing marketing campaigns gave me a quick glance at gaining an insight which post types were successful based on average reach and audience engagement. The power of analytics astonished me because I assumed that a deep insight could be driven only from seniors who have experienced many successes and failures; however, the experience had me get confidence, sparking my interest in studying in the field of analytics.

In order to pursue my career in analytics, I completed Big Data & Social Marketing Specialist Training Course. The program enabled me to discover customers' underlying needs by utilizing tools. However, it could not meet my expectations in terms of variety of tools and feasibility of marketing strategies that my team suggested. To be specific, I have had an opportunity to use only domestic text mining tools, which restricts the range of data I could analyze. Also, the teachers were more interested in statistics rather than business area, so I could not obtain critical feedback related to marketing strategies. This incident solidified my interest in learning more in depth about analytics.

As an analyst, I would like to build a bridge between consumers and companies. In detail, I would like to develop predictive models to identify a multidimensional view of customers by knitting complex databases, and to offer companies produced insights, which will be the path to excellent strategies. In order to achieve the same, I must now add state-of-the-art and various analytical techniques that can be learned during the program to my foundational knowledge of business, and also improve the ability to extract and organize data so as to get ready to begin analysis as well as to drive meaningful result that attain objectives of the analysis. I am currently learning R, Python, and Mathematics to better understand lectures, and also plan to get used to programming tools such as SQL by this summer.

On top of that, I strongly believe that Master of Science in Analytics at ABC University would help me reach my goals since the program encourages students to learn practical data science within an organizational context through two industry-supplied projects and the summer internship. Interacting with diverse students, I would not merely develop analytical skills but also get an opportunity to practice it in a live scenario and be ready for my career goals.

Hlx 2 / 3  
Dec 20, 2018   #2
Hi @PursuingBA
I think this response is kind of generic and abstract. Maybe you should supplement more details about your experence and your career goals. For instance, which industry do you intend to join? What improvement can be realized after a compony taking your advice?

Good luck!
Holt - / 7,530 2001  
Dec 21, 2018   #3
Yongju, none of your responses align itself with the prompt requirements. It is as if you just decided to write the essay, without considering the list of required information as indicated by the university. This is not an essay that you can use. Rather, you have to write a new essay that considers the prompt requirements the reviewer will be looking for. Clarify your responses with identifiable references to the prompt requirements to prove that your response aligns with the question being asked. It would be better if you list the prompt questions separately and then develop a response for each question in outline form. That way you are sure you are not missing out on responding to any question and also, that you have enough information for you to strongly develop a full paragraph response upon. Once you have completely responded to each prompt in outline form, develop the paragraph presentation. After the complete paragraph is developed, edit the content for word count. Then come back here so we can review your essay for proper finalization.


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