"Pursuit of knowledge" - My SOP for Software Engineering

My SOP is given below. any comments, suggestions as well as advise to make it more realistic and appealing would be highly appreciated.

Pursuit of knowledge has always been my obsession and the propelling force behind all of my achievements. My decision to pursue graduate study blends harmoniously with my eventual objective of taking up research-oriented career in Software Engineering.

The days of my undergraduate study helped me to get sound knowledge and a firm grasps over the principles underlying the course of Information and Communication Engineering and has equipped me with the necessary prerequisites for a formal graduate course. Take stock of the fluidity and the fast rate of obsolescence of the developments in this field, I have always strive hard to keep myself abreast of the latest trends by going through the journals of IEEE Transactions on Software Engineering.

As it is absolutely necessary for everyone to be acquainted with computers, I have learnt 'C' and 'C++' then my interest grows on programming language. After then I have learnt Visual Basic and developed library management software with the help of another two friends. After successfully completion of that software I have decided to build my career on software engineering. After that I have developed different kinds of software using different languages. And presently I am working with php. I have also worked with Java, Visual Basic, C and C++. Also I have little experience on Prolog and Haskell.

My present job has helped me to develop different types of live services for different mobile phone operators. The industry environments that I am currently in do not support my desire for research. I possess industry-hardened skills in Computer Languages, but I must build on these to achieve my goal of undertaking cutting-edge research in Software Engineering. I therefore believe that I must return to the academic world for further growth.

As the Software Engineering talk about software, I would say that system specification, writing programs, testing and integrating code, creating maintainable code and documentation should be the major aspects. Missing any of them even workable software can hardly be used. Documentation can help to make software visible and quality assurance which is also an aspect of Software Engineering concerns the quality of software. Tools, the aspect of Software Engineering help to gear up software development. I am interested to do my research on the above aspects.

I believe that my perseverance, originality, talents and enthusiasm will distinguish me from other students and would help my success as a graduate student. I am confident that I will be able to meet the demands and requirements of the research in your university.

The days of my undergraduate study helped me to get sound knowledge and a firm graspsoverof the principles underlying the course of Information and Communication Engineering and has also equipped me with the necessary prerequisites for a formal graduate course. Take stock of the fluidity and the fast rate of obsolescence of the developments in this field, I have alwaysstrivestriven hard to keep myself abreast of the latest trends by going through the journals of IEEE Transactions on Software Engineering

*In reference to the bold parts, I am did not quite understand it. I think your grammar is to blame. 'Take stock of the fluidity'...that kind of puzzled me.

As it is absolutely necessary for everyone to be acquainted with computers, I have learnt 'C' and 'C++' then my interest grows on programming language.

*Not necessarily.

After then I have learnt Visual Basic and developed a library management software with the help of another two friends. After the successfully completion of that software I have decided to build my career on software engineering. After that I have developed different kinds of softwares using different languages. And presently I am working with php. I have also worked with Java, Visual Basic, C and C++. Also I have little experience on Prolog and Haskell.

^You say 'after that' too many times. I can see that you have his propensity to forget to include certain, basic words, such as 'the'.

My present job has helped me to develop different types of live services for different mobile phone operators. The industry environments that I am currently in do not support my desire for research. I possess industry-hardened skills in Computer Languages, but I must build on these to achieve my goal of undertaking cutting-edge research in Software Engineering.

^You should say over here, why do you want to research, or what is responsible for your 'desire to research'. Why do you actually want to bother studying all over again? You should mention this. It is quite important.

I therefore believe that I must return to the academic world for further growth.
^Like I said before, why do you need this further intellectual growth. What is the importance of it to you?

As the Software Engineering talk about software, I would say that system specification, writing programs, testing and integrating code, creating maintainable code and documentation should be the major aspects. Missing any of them even workable software can hardly be used.

^ALl of this needs grammar revision.

Documentation can help to make softwares visible and. quality assurance , which is also an aspect of Software Engineering, concerns the quality of software. Tools, the aspect of Software Engineering help to gear up software development. I am interested to do my research on the above aspects.

^But why? Also, you just say what these different topics are. You kind of give us a definition. I doubt that the Admissions Committee is reading your definitions to be honest. Rather, it would want to hear, why do these topics interest you. Why do you want to research them?

I believe that my perseverance, originality, talents and enthusiasm will distinguish me from other students and would help my success as a graduate student.
^What proof do you have of any of the things I have highlighted in bold. Do you have anything that can demonstrate your originality, or your enthusiasm, or your talent. Perhaps you can link it to you library software package. Perhaps. How have you shown perseverance?

I am confident that I will be able to meet the demands and requirements of the research in your university.
^Why try to meet? Try and exceed? Think of a better closing line. This one is just so boring and overused.

*Ok, I kind of get the impression that this SOP is only a ten minute job. The amount of thought that went to this appears to be quite low. You do not seem to be too focused on your academic interests, why you have these academic interests, and why you want to develop them...

Revise your essay, and expand and develop so that you can come off as a stronger candidate. This essay, looks like as if you did it just for the heck of it, or that you have not put too much effort into it. If the Admissions Committee sense either of these, or even both, then it is highly unlikely that they will be as uninterested in your application. Work on your essay.

Hmm alright. I can see that Simone and I worked on this pretty much at the same time. I looked at her revisions, and that paragraph which I had earlier found quite difficult to understand, has become a lot clearer after her revisions. Implement those changes in your essay as well.

EF_Simone & Liebe ,

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Actually it is a rough version i need to work hard on that. I will take care of it according to your guidelines and of course i will post the revised version here.

Thanks a lot !!

Also hope more comments on it from others.

Please provide a brief statement of your research interests and goals [Within 1000 characters]

In my case of course my research interest is Software Engineering

But what should contain the goal. Any hints, suggestion on that will be very helpful for me

Well, what are your goals? What, exactly, do you want to do within the field of software engineering? How will your work contribute to the field?

Okay I write A short note about my research interest & goal. kindly review & make some comments as well as suggestions.

Pursuit of knowledge has always been my obsession and the propelling force behind all of my achievements. My decision to pursue graduate study blends harmoniously with my eventual objective of taking up research-oriented career in Software Engineering.

My ultimate goal in my career is to make a commendable contribution to the software field by doing research which would change the dimensions of future Software. After obtaining my M. S. degree in, I plan to pursue Ph. D studies. This M. S. Degree would be able to make myself more knowledgeable & technically advanced than my current peers. It would make me better suited to go in for research. Moreover, the technical challenges encountered in the graduate program will provide motivation and opportunity for methodological innovation.

This is all so vague and generic. I imagine that just about everybody starting a PhD program has a habit of pursuing knowledge and a dream of making a contribution via research. What sort of contribution do you envision making via research?

Start by saying what aspect of software engineering you want to research, and then narrow it down from there.