Reason for pursuing career in Occupational Therapy and why this school. Short Personal Statement

Hello, I'm wondering if someone could kindly provide me feedback on my PS. I hope to cover the
Reason for wanting to be an OT
Reason I want to go to this University
Word Count: 300-500 words with closer to 300 as preferably (current 385)

Occupational Therapy application

My first shadowing experience was at a rehabilitation center. Since it was early, the OT was assisting her client's with morning ADLs. I remember one client, who was recovering from a stroke, had a thick matted braid of hair so long it rested in her lap. After the OT directed the client how to dress and provided tips on how to dress efficiently with her lack of mobility, she asked if she wanted to tackle her hair. This client lit up, nodding her head eagerly, and I could tell her hair was her pride. The OT carefully helped the client untwine her hair as the client lamented over it. This client expressed her love for brushing her hair and was frustrated at her inability to care for her hair as she used to. As they worked through her hair, the OT kindly smiled and assured her that they would work on strengthen her arms and grip to help care for her hair the way she wants to. Watching the OT and client work together, I witnessed how appreciative the client was. I want to be an occupational therapist because it is personal and something as simple as helping someone re-learn to brush their hair can mean the world to them. I know becoming an OT will be personally satisfying since I can have a meaningful impact on someone's life and be apart of their journeys towards independence in doing the things they want to or desire to do.

One reason I'm interested in studying at * is that it is an international university. I'm currently employed in a multicultural workplace where I must regularly recognize differences to aid my team in working happily and seamlessly. As an OT, I know I will work in and with diverse populations and it is important to me to learn in an environment that will foster a multicultural mindset so that I can provide the best therapy as possible for each unique client. Furthermore, I am interested in mental health and value that there is a module dedicated to my interest. Finally, I enjoy challenging myself such as when I when I took my last two years of undergraduate in one, and want to attend this university since I believe I will be challenged both in and outside the classroom.

Summings, you cannot start your reasons for wanting to become an Occupational Therapist from the moment you shadowed the professional OT. This part of the prompt requires you to present the build of your interest and desire to become an OT. Some of the questions you can respond to in order to give the required information are:

1. When did you first learn about OT?
2. Why was your interest in OT increased?
3. What made you decide that becoming an OT was the right career path for yourself?

After responding to these questions, you can explain why you chose this university by explaining:
1. What factors you considered when choosing an OT university;
2. What similar academic objectives you share with this university;
3. How you hope to utilize the facilities of the university in order to pursue the completion of your academic and professional goals.

These are the only information you need to present. The overall essay does not require the presentation of your shadowing information at this point. That will come in as a part of your statement of purpose discussion or motivational letter (as required). Save that information for a more appropriate prompt response presentation.

@Summings

Hi summings, you've tried your best to generate this personal statement. However, there are some sentences you should alter in order to make ur PS become a splendid personal statement.

As an OT, I know I will work in ..., it will be good if you change this sentence into As an OT, I am definitely sure that I will work with many people from different background